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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my 16yod not to destroy bathroom with hair dye?

62 replies

Iftheresamurderdontlookatme · 19/02/2013 08:20

This isn't just once it's several times and she's been talked to, shouted at and virtually thrown out for her destruction and lack of respect to property, she is lucky to have her own bathroom, over the years there's been all sorts of mess and just before we put house up for sale we replaced her broken bath panel and put new flooring down and decorated, looked great, she has now stained the wall, the white work top and the white flooring with fing pink hair dye in vast quantities, we have just sold house and survey done last week (pre hair dye incident), I can't leave it like this for new people and will have to replace the lot.
We are bloody furious. How many times do you have to tell the little fers before they get it?
WWUD?

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 19/02/2013 08:44

Oh how horrendous! I well remember doing similar with pillar box red dye at the same age. Have you told her to ask for help when she dyes her hair? Some people just can't do it neatly....I'm like a ninja now...I've done it so many times, it's on and off before you can blink but a 16 year old needs help in all likelyhood.

Can you make her give up some money towards replacing the fittings.

Iftheresamurderdontlookatme · 19/02/2013 08:52

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IHeartKingThistle · 19/02/2013 09:05

I think you've got the solution right there - keep the money!

As an aside, my best mate at uni spent our first year repeatedly dyeing her hair crazy colours. Her entire top layer of hair broke off at the root Shock.

LtEveDallas · 19/02/2013 09:09

Ok, calm the hell down. You are going overboard here and talking about your 16 year old the way you do is pretty bloody disgusting.

Its quite simple, get her to clean it or to pay for the cleaning. Hair dye does come off - try Head and Shoulders, or bleach and elbow grease. But do NOT call your child retarded, its a fucking horrible word that you should be ashamed of using.

FeckOffCup · 19/02/2013 09:09

Yes I would keep the ebay money if she has damaged the bathroom with hair dye before and still isn't careful.

catsmother · 19/02/2013 09:10

I would, if she's been warned over and over before.

1st time ..... okay, I wouldn't be happy about it but hair dye virgins, and especially young ones, probably don't fully realise that dye stains everything it touches. She might have naiively thought it'd just wipe down/wash out. But this sounds completely different and isn't rocket science. I'm sure you've advised her to either lay down old towels or sheets (which can be kept specifically for this purpose and used again) on the floor and across worktops. Similarly, old newspaper does the job too. Her lookout if she likes having pink hands though silly girl.

16 is old enough to understand that replacing flooring isn't cheap. I'd keep her money and TBH, cruel mum that I am, I'd probably be thinking of other sanctions too to try and instill some care and respect into her. After all, you don't want your new house going the same way and next time, there might not be eBay money to fall back on.

DesiderataHollow · 19/02/2013 09:12

OH still does this at 43! Arrrgh.
I've now mastered the art, and don't wear gloves because I make a lot more mess when I do.

I ruined a couple of bathrooms while learning my mad skillz though.

YANBU to expect her to try and not cover the bathroom with dye. YABU to expect her to suceed.

Bonemachine · 19/02/2013 09:13

The way you talk about her is horrible.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 19/02/2013 09:13

I agree you are very bloody unreasonable for calling your daughter stupid and retarded.

JenaiMorris · 19/02/2013 09:14

You sound horrible. I'm not surprised she doesn't respect your wishes tbh.

DIYapprentice · 19/02/2013 09:15

I wouldn't just be keeping the ebay money - I'd be making her pay for a fair proportion of the replacement cost, and she would have some SEVERE punishments. I'd probably ground her, and ban her from dying her hair in the house. She can bloody well save up for it and have it done by a hairdressers - it would cost her less money in the end.

diddl · 19/02/2013 09:20

Yes I would keep the money.

Sounds as if she does it deliberately tbh.

Where does she keep getting the money from to dye her hair though?

diddl · 19/02/2013 09:22

I´d also she her how much the replacements will cost & ask her how she is going to pay for it all.

sleepsforwimps2010 · 19/02/2013 09:23

op. have to tried hairspray/ polish?
there is something about the 'gas' in aerosol hairspray and polish that lifts dyes.....
i once put a wet plastic bag on a white work top, when i moved it a perfect transfer of the shop logo was left behind!
tried bleach and every surface cleaner; made no difference, nothing shifted it! i was pricing up replacment surface when my gran told me to try hairspray....
i thought she was mad but humoured her; and one spray and wipes straight off ! its like magic honestly. so try that before you replace anything!
then keep the ebay cash for 'clean up costs' and spend it on wine to deal with the stress she's caused!

Trumpton · 19/02/2013 09:23

Flash spray bleach is ace at removing hair dye from walls and tiles and floors . Spray on and leave for quite a long time . ( I am a very messy hair dye person ) and then total ban on dying hair and screw her en suite shut if she won't respect it !

Original poster
Iftheresamurderdontlookatme · 19/02/2013 09:23

LtEveDallas, bone machine and BlackholeofRevelation, I can see your view point, however, it is only February and this is the third time this year, I have paid for hairdressers, I took her once and within a DAY she had died it a stupid colour again, the day of her prom last year saw me bleaching out the green and getting her to blond, god knows how but we managed it, she was pink the next day. I've stopped bothering what she looks like, I have given her as much advice as I can, it's up to her now, she's totally fucking her life up in all areas, I can't reason with her at all. I am not inhuman and have made more allowances than most parents are ever asked, I think I have the right to think as I do about her.

OP posts:
diddl · 19/02/2013 09:24

That sounds like a good thing for the daughter to try, sleeps

ThreeWheelsGood · 19/02/2013 09:24

A bit of elbow grease will get the hairdye off the bathroom. Her elbow grease! She is old enough to understand the bathroom needs to be spotless for next owner, ask her calmly, keep the Ebay money to pay for new towels.

Were you never a teenager OP? Lots of replies here reminiscing about doing similar, I certainly did, but I was told in no uncertain terms to clean up afterwards.

Original poster
Iftheresamurderdontlookatme · 19/02/2013 09:24

By the way, nothing shifts the dye, even graffiti remover and thinkers haven't touched it

OP posts:
Original poster
Iftheresamurderdontlookatme · 19/02/2013 09:27

*thinners

OP posts:
mrsjay · 19/02/2013 09:28

.your probably thinking she's retarded.....she's actually not,

cant even be bothered answering now

notsofrownieface · 19/02/2013 09:28

Hair dye does come out, I dye mine black and it comes off the bath and pvc windowsills with a little elbow grease.

You ABVVU to call your daughter stupid and retarded. Do you speak to her like that?

BaresarkBunny · 19/02/2013 09:29

I can't really comment because this was me at sixteen.

BaresarkBunny · 19/02/2013 09:30

Obviously just the hair dye bit my parents would never have called me that even when they were angry.

AbbyCat · 19/02/2013 09:35

I think there are underlying issues with your relationship. She clearly doesn't respect you. Not trying to be rude but you need to repair the relationship or you may find your dd posting about her toxic mother in forums in a few years time! I don't think it's about the hair dye at all. This is probably the culmination of several incidents that have driven you apart. Good luck and I hope you manage to reconnect with her. After all she is your little baby!