to not understand people announcing that they're 'Getting Engaged'.

[atthewelles]

I mean, either you've agreed between you that you want to get married or you haven't. Tellling everyone that you're 'going to get engaged at Christmas' or that 'we're going to Paris to get engaged' doesn't really make sense. Surely its more exciting to wait until you have the ring and then make a general announcement that you 'are engaged' instead of letting everyone know in advance and then expecting them to get excited and ooh and aah when you appear with a diamond flashing on your finger.

I'm not giving out about it, I just don't understand why people want to take the excitement and surprise out of the occasion like this.

I do think people are engaged from the moment they decide to get married. But nothing wrong with marking the occasion later with a semi-formal or formal proposal / party / whatever and it doesn't bother me if people announce they are "getting engaged". I am amazed how many people on here loathe it so much really, have some of you been getting more and more worked up about this over the years and its all coming out on this thread in some sort of cathartic rush? I'm originally from the north east and when I was growing up announcing you were 'getting engaged' at a future date and having a party was very common.

Slightly off topic but I do think the MN obsession with labelling any type of occasion-marking (engagement / wedding / baby) as grabby or entitled or all me me me is a bit sad and miserable. A lot of us actually like hearing about or getting together with friends and celebrating some good news (shocking I know).

DH and I got engaged on our first date with a "shall we get married then?". From that point we were engaged and planning our wedding and we got married 8 months later. But I still liked the idea of a proper proposal - didn't know when or where it would be though. When it happened it was a total surprise - at Marylebone Station and he got down on one knee to do it. He didn't ask my Dad first thank god but he had approached my boss to get me the day off without me knowing. My boss and the HR woman were both incurable romantics and loved the idea. Then he whisked me off (sorry had to include that ) for a champagne breakfast at Claridges, then a champagne ride on the Wheel, then a champagne lunch at San Lorenzos. It was fab (I think - can't remember much after the champagne). When we got home he fell asleep with exhaustion while I emailed all my friends with the goss.

it was great. We are divorced now of course have been married 11 years now.

I have of course totally outed myself now. Waves to sister on MN.

I only found this thread thanks to YOS's flounce. Really nowhere near as bad as I thought twould be.

And aye LaQ that technically counts as an N Gagement so consider yourself engaged over a pint of SB & black

I am amazed how many people on here loathe it so much really, have some of you been getting more and more worked up about this over the years and its all coming out on this thread in some sort of cathartic rush? QuOTE

Blimey, nothing like being dramatic. Cathartic rush??

all the fun is to be had at FC. I do love watching a good flounce

atthewelles. Well I have never heard anyone in RL care really.

So because someone posts in AIBU that is an excuse to be absolutely vile to them if you feel like it?
I wouldn't call her 'suggestible and malleable', more human and not made of stone.
If someone attacked something or someone special to you, can you guarantee 100% that you wouldn't be bothered by that?!

It was curiosity more than anything that prompted my thread DotheStrand. To each their own but I genuinely don't understand it and couldn't imagine being part of a pre agreed proposal scenario that all my friends and family already knew about.

ps my dad politely told my grandad that he was thinking of asking his daughter to marry him and my grandad replied 'well, what do you want me to do about it?'

I think it was the way she kind of marched into the thread swearing at everyone and telling them they were miserable and mean minded that set the scene sapphire and the thread started to go downwards after that.
Not saying that some of the comments made towards her were excusable, but she also played her part in fairness.

Sorry I didn't see your OP as a cathartic rush atthewelles, just some of the later posters... and yes I do like a bit of drama that's why I come on MN Your grandad sounds great. I think if DH had asked my dad his reply would have been along the lines of 'at last! can I pay for the reception to speed things along please'. (I was 30 by then. 30!! on the shelf obv).

LaQueen I misread your post as re-engaged not pre-engaged and I did boggle slightly. I think even I, with my love of parties and happy news, would draw the line at getting excited at a re-engagement.

Yanbu

My cousin did this recently I said "I'm pregnant" she said "well I'm getting engaged this year sometime"

wtf?? when did this become the norm, I thought you were proposed to and you were then able to tell everyone your engaged

Oops. Oh dear I am so sorry. I haven't really helped this thread have I, merely muddied the waters

I would class calling someone pathetic and meaningless vile, yes.
Just because it's AIBU i don't think makes it acceptable.
FWIW Yanbu to the original thread title, but some of the rest of it is totally U.

Oh and how exactly does one 'march onto a thread'?
Have I marched onto this one by expressing my opinion and sticking up for someone who I felt was treated unfairly, or have I simply posted?
I've clearly not been around long enough to understand the difference.

sorry LaQ I just assumed everyone knew about FC.

And kudos ref the downing in 5 seconds. I once threw up like a demon after drinking 5 bottles of Strongbow 1080 on an empty stomach . DH had a similar experience with Merrydown

I suppose in the same way that someone 'flounces' off to Flouncers Corner. Its all in the tone and content of the post.

Ignoring a lot of the stuff upthread, I also can't understand the thoroughly planned out engagements - but that's because it's not who I am. We got engaged on our own, in a park, very spur of the moment - and the ring he used was one that he had worn for 10 years previously. Amazing. Perfect. We'd talked about the relationship enough to know that we were both thinking the same things about our future, and that we both wanted to do so.

Same with the wedding - as cheap as possible, only a handful of the closest people. We spent the most money on the rings, as they were the thing with the most importance for us - something tangible that would last for the remainder of the marriage (well, hopefully!)

I also know someone who - in all seriousness - described her relationship as "we're engaged to become engaged!"