To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

[crashdoll]

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

I feel so strongly about this .my darling brother died in a terrible accident in another country.,we flow over, knowing he was brain dead, though he looked perfect lying in ITU on a ventilator. It was a difficult decision to donate everything and watch him being wheeled away, still'alive ' to be harvested. Harder still when I wentback to work , meeting patients who had had a donor organ which might have been his.
But My DH has had a bone marrow transplant which saved his life, and my other brother has had corneal transplants. I am eternally gratefully to the selfless familes and wonderful NHS who made this possible for free.
And those of you who won't carry a donor card
Shame on you - I hope you never have to experience what I and my family went through.

My sister was on a transplant ward on and off for the best part of a decade. One person she met had had both a liver transplant and a kidney transplant. She and her family were not on the donor register because they didn't like the idea. They felt it was a bit 'yuck'.

On the other side, when transplants were something that happened to other people, my sister was on the register. And before she was on the register she'd been very clear that she wanted her body to be useful after her death. She believed that this helped her to feel comfortable with the idea of a transplanted organ.

This thread has been an eye-opener. I can't believe there are people that would happily accept a donated organ, yet still somehow deem that if it's their loved one, then a dead person's liver or kidney, destined to burn or rot, is more important than a living, breathing, hopeful human being and all the people who love them.
No excuse for such selfishness.

Can I ask Fairy - what would you think of me now that I have had my transplant saying 'well it's good that I am alive now but there is no way if something happened to DH or DS I would consent to giving their organs to save someone else?'. I am not asking this to goad and I hardly ever post never mind in aibu but I am just trying to get you to try and see it in a different way.

Ledkr - I really hope your DS gets a kidney soon, kidney failure is awful not least if you have an unsympathetic employer.

Thank you for trying!

I don't really see it as the same as a doctor waving a deceased persons hand around though, as people can live without hands.

I guess maybe a difference in my head is that while I understand that after brain death, a person is dead, if their body is still going, they just aren't completely dead.

People are a body and a soul in my mind. That person isn't completely gone until both parts are finished. The soul being gone but not the body doesn't mean to me that the whole person is gone.

Death might be confirmed by medical professionals in the same way for people who donate and people who don't, but medical science isn't the be all and end all to me. Especially because I think medical science could solve all of these problems by putting more money, time and effort into stem cell treatments.

clouds don't play amateur psychologist and tell me I am projecting thank you. I have lived with my sons illness and my own for many years and am truly beyond needing to project anything so don't patronise me after reading a few lines of dialogue.
I was trying to be understanding if people's reasons for being fearfull and somebody earlier said about "donors shrink from the scalpel and blood pressure elevates as organs are removed"
You are very defensive for someone who is so comfortable with their decision.

So you are frightened it will be painful when they take the organs but you are happy for another person to experience that? Really?

That is projecting, because you came across as if you were trying to tell me that I'm frightened it will be painful. I'm not frightened it will be painful at all, the thought of pain hadn't even crossed my mind until you said it. You are assuming that is something I have thought of, and you are wrong.

You also say I'm someone who is 'so comfortable with their decision'. I'm not entirely comfortable with my decision. I'm just more comfortable with it than the alternative.

I'm genuinely shocked and appalled that anyone could accept organs while refusing to donate.

To me that is a form of evil.

The attitude that allows peoe to think that way is the thing that is wrong with the world.

I'm considering doing my bit for humanity by entirely withdrawing from any form of organ donation to increase the chances of these selfish cunts dying on the transplant lists.

Utter, utter cunts to a man or woman

And you think you are somehow better by making that statement?

Really?

Way fucking better.

A million times better.

Just because you are married to one of those scumbags doesn't make it any less unspeakable to think that way.

TheFallenNinja "I sometimes wonder if AIBU is sometimes used for homework or presentation prep. Tut"

Oh do fuck off with your patronising tutting. There is a huge media campaign at the moment geared towards encouraging organ donation.

So for all your compassion and wanting to help and that's the way you express it?

Clearly, you are unable to express yourself properly.

Quite a shame really, given that I agree with you that if you are happy to accept a donated organ, you should be willing to donate.

However, leaving selfish cunts to die on the transplant list to prove some sort of point makes you sound worse than anyone on this thread.

If you are not registering for donation because you are scared of the procedure (I was) then take the time to discuss it with someone at least.
I'm sorry clouds where did I direct that post at you my friend? You made it about you not me.
Considering my circumstances I am actually fairly understanding of people's choice not to donate but to then say that you'd accept one is horrible.
I think the complete lack of compassion you show towards a mother if a sick son actually speaks volumes.

No, it doesn't make me sound worse.

Nothing sounds worse than "I'll happily let your child die by refusing to donate AND I'll happily make their death more likely by taking an organ that could save them."

It is utterly depraved.

Nobody should have to donate knowing someone that evil could be saved using their organs.

Thank you clucky

AThing it does make you sound worse.

But I have read stuff like this from you before. It's almost impossible to have any type of conversation because everyone apart from you is a cunt and a scumbag.

If you are happy, in fact relishing letting people die because you have decided they are "evil" you sound exactly like the scumbags you are wishing death on.

But if you see the body as fundamentally part of what makes you, you then how could you accept but not donate?

Personally, the idea of having a part of a strangers body inside me is horrible, so I'm not comfortable with the thought of that either. But it's more comfortable than the thought of my children being motherless. Yes, I do see why that could come across as selfish, but then no one is entirely selfless and I know I do plenty of good for society, so I can live with a few small minded people on the Internet thinking I'm selfish.

Nothing is going to persuade these evil fuckers.

For the first time in my life I have been given pause about organ donation, which I had previously held to be an unalloyed good.

The persuasion has happened - I have been convinced to come off the register.

The whole thing is bullshit if it is just the selfish accepting life from people they consider to be worthless mugs.

I feel ill.

Good then eats hope you don't have to eat a large slice if humble pie one day. Goodnight all.