To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

[crashdoll]

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

Fairy, the fact that your job involves trying to save children's lives somehow makes it seem worse that you will not donate yours or your children's organs when they are no longer of any use to you, in order to save the life of a desperately ill child/person.

maryz I know it's not personal and I'm not aiming anything at you either so you know I'm merely responding. I do feel for others on this thread I genuinely do however that doesn't mean I can't hold a differing point of view ad want to stick by it.

Maybe when I'm older my feelings will change I really don't know I can only express how I feel now.

Fwiw I am a nice person an in everyday life am very selfless and I do work hard to protect children etc I do not see the two issues as mutually exclusive.

dreaming not sure why you see it that way but if that's your opinion fair enough

One of the things that makes me feel uncomfortable with organ donation is that time in between 'death' and the donors machines actually being switched off permanently. I don't like the idea of being in limbo between life and death, and that time is what makes me feel like I wouldn't want DHs organs to be donated. I don't like the thought of what happens to bodies between death and burial/cremation.

' I don't like the thought of what happens to bodies between death and burial/cremation.'

Then I hope you nor your DH need a post mortem, and it is not an option in many cases, it is required to get a death cert and especially for cremation. If you wish to be cremated you have to have have two separate forms completed by two different doctors and the cause of death must be completely obvious.

Even in the case of suicide with notes, the body is not released right away.

Yes, but those things are unavoidable. There is no choice in the matter, and those are already quite tragic circumstances to die in. Surely the majority of us would, if we could, choose a peaceful, uncomplicated death where we just went to bed and never woke up?

And you're not in limbo, you are dead, only the machines keep breathing for you.

I thought like you did (although I've always been on the register to donate), but having seen it myself, death is in seconds after those machines are turned off. You never, ever breathe again, because you are dead.

Surely the majority of us would, if we could, choose a peaceful, uncomplicated death where we just went to bed and never woke up?.

I'm sure we would, but I can't see what that's got to do with anything.

I actually thought that any unattended death meant you needed a post mortem anyway. Have I got that wrong?

This thread has been going for almost 24 hours

In that time 3 people have died waiting for organs. It could be your child this time next year. An yes it's emotive but I can tell you this, being told your child needs a transplant is about as emotive as it gets.

And whilst we're on the subject 96% of us rely on the other 4% to give blood. Now I get that there are plenty of people who can't give blood but just 4 out of 100 people donate. That's really pretty crap isn't it?

fairy my mum.died at home from cancer and there was no post mortem. It was just us there and a Marie curie care assistant.

If you are not registering for donation because you are scared of the procedure (I was) then take the time to discuss it with someone at least.
And it is fairly crass to say that you would accept an organ from someone but not donate yourself. Very crass actually. So you are frightened it will be painful when they take the organs but you are happy for another person to experience that? Really?

I realise that post mortems often have to be done, but by the time that happens, your body hasn't been breathing for a significant amount of time.

I think if the worst happened to my family, I'd want to be there after tests had been done and as machines were being switched off. I wouldn't want my loved ones to fully die when they were in an operating theatre and the main concern was for getting their organs out of them.

I realise this makes me selfish to some people. I can live with that thought much more easily than I can live with the thought of being kept alive when I should be dead, or with the thought of that happening to someone I love while I wait outside.

Maryz - spot on about the accidents - DH had to give consent for his dsis to be an organ donor. I have to admit, having stood by DH throughout that process, I questioned my own beliefs about organ donation - and came close to changing my wishes.

So you are frightened it will be painful when they take the organs but you are happy for another person to experience that? Really?

No. You are projecting. I never said anything about it being painful, and I don't think anyone else who feels the way I do has either. Might have missed it though, it's a long thread.

I take the point that its worth discussion with someone who knows, so anyone here who knows is welcome to try and make me feel better about it. I'm open to having my mind changed, but being called a selfish hypocrite for things that seem to me like natural and reasonable fears really isn't going to make that happen.

I think you put it a lot better than I did clouds

When ds went on the waiting list he had to sign to say if he would accept a donor either from a deceased person or one on life support. Maybe there should be a similar policy for donors.

baby by unattended I meant when person is completely alone ect with no known illness but like I said I could be completely wrong

Not sure if this will help allay any fears if you have a doubt about the process but..

"!Organs are only removed for transplantation after a person has died. Death is confirmed by doctors at consultant level who are entirely independent of the transplant team. Death is confirmed in exactly the same way for people who donate organs as for those who do not."

'I realise that post mortems often have to be done, but by the time that happens, your body hasn't been breathing for a significant amount of time.'

Not true at all. If you fall ill and are taken to hospital and die quickly, there will often be postmortem to determine cause of death.

My niece fell ill suddenly at home, age 39. It was evening, the paramedics came in minutes and she went into cardiac arrest whilst they were there.

She did not recover, but had to have post mortem due to their not knowing what caused her to collapse (cause was determined to be myocardial infarction/hear attack/coronary artery disease).

There are several of us even here, in the bereavement section, whose children suddenly fell ill and the child died in hospital. Post mortem was required to determine exact cause of death.

My child did not require post mortem, but her cause of death was very obvious, she had been in ICU for nearly a fortnight before her death suffering from pneumonia and had been through stem cell transplant for treatment of leukaemia.

Still, after she died, we were given a form to register her death and another, and on reading them, I realised that if there is even a lick of conjecture, a post mortem is required.

I think the fear is there because you can't imagine what it would be like being dead. I recently had an op and had GA- I had absolutely no awareness of what was going on, no dreams, no sensations of what the surgeons were doing. I imagine death would be something like that so I honestly have no fear of what happens to me. I hope that my organs will go to help someone else and that my brain is useful to the research scientists at Parkinsons UK.

Aside from that I just hope that my body is disposed of in some way that will help the environment (quite fancy a tree instead of a headstone) and that the people I've left behind have a bloody good knees-up in my memory.