To wonder what reasons people give for being willing to accept an organ but not donate

[crashdoll]

What the title says really.

I am happy for all my organs to be donated when I'm gone. I'd also accept an organ transplant if I was in that position. I know there are religious reaons for not donating certain organs but I do wonder how people can rationalise not donating organs if they are willing to accept.

I hope I didn't upset anyone by talking about pm's, but my dh trained in a very remote island area where pm's were carried out by local GPs who were police surgeons also and he assisted at several during his training.

A deceased body can be hard to manipulate and it is easier for the doctor and more dignified for tha patient not to try to re-insert a brain that swells after being removed from the skull.

I've got a friend younger than me who has had a kidney transplant - she will now see her dc grow up without her having to dialyse 3x/week. There's a slim chance in the future that a stem cell transplant might cure my condition. We feel very very grateful to blood donors as the treatment I get once a month comes from 30 different donors. I gave blood every 6 months until I was diagnosed - dh still does - my 13yo is desperate to! We've talked over organ donation wit them and they are, as of now, happy with it though clearly we will readress this as they get older.

On this thread, as far as I Can see, noone has given anything but the eww/yuk factor as a reason not to donate. I still don't understand why.

Fwiw my dc may want to donate when older they are only 5 and 8 months at the moment so don't even know donation exists

Well maryz I'm sorry you feel that way although I am entitled to my feelings and opinion te same as everyone else.

It's great you feel able to give away parts of your child should the need arrive however I dont feel able ad I don't feel guilty about that in the slightest it my personal choice that's all. As I said when they are older out dc may have different wishes to me and dp that will be up to them

Although I get (although can't empathise) with the fact you don't feel able to grant permission for your DPs organs to be used, it amazes me that you don't feel guilty about it either.

You don't feel guilty that you would rather a child died, to allow your to child keep all their organs when they were dead?

MaryZ I've had this conversation with DH but I have to accept that people will choose to do what feels right to them.

I can't change the way people think and tbh I don't think it's necessarily my place to tell people what they believe is wrong.

I don't think it makes them bad people, just different.

I believe in what I am doing, and that's important to me.
Which is why I do it.

And if I were ever in the position of having to decide if my DCs organs were donated, I would agree to it and DH knows that.

But I honestly can't judge a persons entire character based on what I think is right.

I don't know maryz if I am ever god forbid in that position I will let you know what I decided. My dp shares my wishes so as I said it would be a moot point anyway as even if I was in favour my beliefs are not more important than his they are equal I don't know what we would do in that scenario

You don't feel guilty in the slightest? Bloody hell, that really is selfish.

No I don't feel guilty at all it's my opinion why should I? If I felt guilty then I would donate

.............get the message.......... 13 pages later......... please some new opinions not the same one back and forth with the same few.........
More cheers needed for the people who had never got round to it and now are planning too.!!!!

So do you save all your child's teeth to be buried with them? An appendix? Tonsils? Or is it that you don't want anyone else to have them- you were rather they were burnt than save another child's life? If your child had a kidney transplant would you keep the old one?

maryz already asked a similar question seeker if you want to debate it at least read the whole thread

And dd hasn't lost any teeth yet although one is hanging I by a thread...

Exactly. We don't really discuss it.

Tbh I hope that he will change his mind.
The teenagers share my opinion as well, so you never know, he may change his mind of his own accord.

I do give a shiny shite as you put it maryz and contribute onother ways to try an save children's lives its actually part of my job!

However I would not at this point use my children to do it and my dp doesn't want to donate. Tbf I don't think anyone can answer 100% until they are put in that position you can't say what you will feel at the time.

"my opinions are more important than your child's life, but they are not more important than my child's life" - maryz

I've never thought about the 'I'll take but not give' attitude to organ donation like that before, but I think that yes this statement sadly is quite accurate. My aunt won't give blood but she would also refuse it for her and her children too (she is on the organ donar register though). I think this attitude should be extended to organ donation, if you would rather an organ rot away or be burned than it go to someone to save their life then you shouldn't accept an organ either.

Anyone can do what they want with my organs; better they be put to good use than just left to rot/burnt/etc. If I don't die in the right way to keep them useable then I'm happy to have my body disected or used for research as well.

To those (very) few who consider that their body (or their loved ones' bodies) 'going' (where?) 'complete' is more important than other people's lives being saved; I don't understand you at all. Even accepting the perspective that 'going whole' is a nice thing, I can't see how you can possibly hold that opinion as being so strong and vital a thing that it outweighs someone's life being saved by those same organs you are throwing out.

I find it hard to think about, I know myself I would donate/receive but when it comes to dcs I just don't know,I know if they were ill I would be desperate for them to get an organ if they needed one.

Then I think about ds1 and how he cries for the babies in the oxfam advert and the little boy in the wateraid ad and I know he would want to help another child any way he could,so,if the worst ever happened to any of the dcs I think I would do it but I really hate thinking about such a situation.

I'd love non donors to meet my poor boy. He has been unable to enjoy his young years and gets tired like an old person. He can't eat what he likes and takes bags of drugs every day. He still insists on working full time despite his work not being very understanding and has frequent hospital visits for which they don't pay him therefore has not had a full wage for years. He gets incredibly depressed at his situation which is understandable.
Yet he is the kindest most lovely guy you could ever meet. He actually told his brothers to only be tested if they really wanted to donate.
He talks about how bitter sweet it willl be for him if he gets a kidney as he knows someone will have died.
He's just one if many who is depending on someone else's kindness so that he can live his life.
This attitude really saddens me.

I actually think it is one of those things which it is impossible to be absolutely sure what you would do if you were faced with the situation. Thankfully, it remains hypothetical for most people.

My concerns about heart-beating organ donation are more practical. I have read in a couple of places that the donor sometimes shrinks away from the scalpel, or reacts to the harvesting of organs with high blood pressure/heart rate. This suggests that the donor can feel pain - I certainly wouldn't want my loved ones to experience pain like this in their last moments.

The NHS organ donor website doesn't really tackle this question at all, which makes me think there is somthing to it. If we are going to ask people to donate organs, then we need to be completely honest about what it entails, and I'm not sure that we have that at the moment.

This article from the Wall Street Journal outlines some of my concerns - although I think it is a bit sensational and obviously the financial stuff doesn't apply in the UK (thank you NHS!)

Practical, rather than religious/spiritual iyswim?

maryz Definately don't feel guilty however it's a bit of a stretch for you to say because I wouldnt donate organs that I do t give a shiny shite about other children's lives as this simply isn't true and I evidence this in my everyday life.

I am a civilised adult and I'm not askin you to accept my opinion. The op asked a question and I have an answer it really is that simple. I don't go through life feeling guilty I never have. If something will make you feel guilty then it's the wrong decision IMHO.

I'm more than happy for you to be emotive to give your pov as it is not going to make the slightest bit of difference to my pov.

Clearly I am not the only person who holds this view otherwise less people would die from needing transplants ( discounting this who can't donate for medical reasons obviously )