Oh, foxy, I truly feel sad for you. If last night was the beginning of the rest of your life, it was pretty dismal.
It must be soul destroying to sit with a man who, on one hand, has done something lovely and generous but who is making it clear he is unhappy about paying for it and he actually begrudges it.
alibaba is so right, you should be making happy memories now, not sitting uncomfortably through an evening that he is paying for.
What would he be like if you did have children and whilst on maternity leave you only had his income, from a job he hates? How do you think he'd make you feel then?
On the subject of living arrangements I'm struggling to see how lessmissabs think he is going to become homeless when he sells his house though? The length of time you can port a mortgage is irrelevant because not all mortgages allow you to do this anyway and as he is going to to better somewhere bigger, hence, more expensive, he'll need to remortgage anyway.
If a single, 40 year old man with no dependants earning £55k and presumably with no debts if he's tight cant get a mortgage then the economy is screwed! Many don't make it onto the property ladder until their 30's.
As for disclosing his plans to retire at 55- why would he? Many people plan to retire before their actual retirement age but many also have mortgages over terms longer which run past their ideal age of retirement, particularly if they are currently funding children at university etc. If he hasn't paid off his mortgage before he wants to retire, he'll have to carry on working or sell and buy something he can afford-simple.
Back to you how it affects you though, he seems to me that he is not the kind of man who agrees with renting. It strikes me from his behaviour in other areas that he would see it as a waste of money and wouldn't like to lose the 'status' of owning.
I think that means that when he says he doesn't know what he'll do when he sells his place he is yet again talking crap. I doubt he's considering renting and he's not considering buying with you so that leaves one option, buying on his own again.
I like jessies suggestion too. It is make or break but wouldn't you rather that than waste more time and energy if he's not going to give you what you want. If he isn't committed enough to make more effort now and would rather walk away then it will save you heartache in the future.
I wouldn't hold your breathe for a fairy tale outcome though, I actually had to re-read the bit where he condescended to see you for an extra night a week- big wow!
That's not how it should be, couples who love each other just don't allow each other pre-defined blocks of their time, they want to spend as much time together as possible, which is how moving in together becomes the natural step- you're practically doing it already.