to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

[StripeyBear]

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be

Well I'm a full time working Mum and I don't recognise your description.... Easier to pace myself at work then all day with my wild toddler. Maybe you just weren't very organised?

DP is a SAHD but never makes lemon drizzle cake. Pizza dough once in a blue moon.... He is also averse to Cath Kidston and doesn't swap recipes with anyone. Maybe he's doing it wrong.

Your post sounds terribly smug and self-satisfied. But I don't think that's a SAHM thing. Maybe it is just you? Your friends must find you a barrell of laughs.

You are assuming an awful lot about both WOHM and SAHM, as there are may variables, you are going to be way off the mark for many.

Yes, all the WOHMs are rounding on the SAHM. Can't you see us all, rounding?

OR, someone posted on AIBU and was told, yes she was BU. and the usual bunfight ensued

op It's basically a stealth boast stating that your dh earns enough so you don't have to work. I love going to work personally but dd is at school.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.soest.hawaii.edu/expeditions/mariana/images/annsoupy/kids-easter%2520soupy%2520closeup.jpg&imgrefurl=www.soest.hawaii.edu/expeditions/mariana/forkids-easterupdate.htm&h=890&w=900&sz=46&tbnid=b9so0HqxWp1mJM:&tbnh=94&tbnw=95&zoom=1&usg=__A9NGYO86cHrzVT4JENGP0z0bTSk=&docid=ymjsoYwkgxYo-M&sa=X&ei=N34WUbeLO9CR0QXzt4DwDQ&ved=0CDgQ9QEwAQ&dur=2346" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lemon drizzle cake

Ashoething

And you assumed my comment was aimed at WOHMs why? I m not the slightest bit anti wohm. Are we supposed to only be on one side?

Fwiw i think the bash and counter bash about sahm/wohm seems to produce posts of jaw dropping thickness, sometimes from even normal sensible posters.

Most people arn't boring or twee or selfish or brilliant or funny or dull - especially dull - because of how they spend their day.

My friends are a pretty even split between sahms and WOHMs. They are great and pretty similar in the things that matter - funny, responsible, interesting, kind, smart.

I don't understand the animosity and I don't understand the trotting out of clichés which, if men used them about women, we would think they were utter arseholes.

and the usual Bunfight ensued should just be posted immediately one of these threads starts

Ooooh its The Usual Bunfight Ensued

I can just post TUBE and

Hooray

@mrsbunny Perhaps the OP couldn't earn much but that doesn't mean that other people can't.

amazed that the wohm's on this thread can't see how ironic their spiteful mockery of sahm's is.
Also feel a bit sorry for people who say they 'absolutely hated maternity leave' and were 'brain dead' as a sahm. Perhaps that's a lack of imagination and effort on their part rather than a fundamental flaw in the role of a sahm! When I was working I met just as many fuckwits, probably more, than when I was a sahm. At least sahm's can get away from there. Kinda hard when the fuckwit is sat opposite you in the office.

Agreed Pagwatch.

Actually i do think most posters are being quite reasonable, always exceptions

Pagwatch-I didnt assume anything about your post. I merely pointed out that the op used many cliches when talking about wohm. And the same old cliches about sahm were spouted back.

Like yourself I have a mix of friends who are sahm/wohm-I find none of them boring or only able to talk about baking/nappy rash. Women should do what suits them and their families. No need for people to try and deride other peeps choices to make them feel better.

@russians - earn what you like, earn a fortune. someone else gets to be with your baby. enjoy your money.

i don't mind either way. my point to the op is that sahm is a vulnerable position and she needs to watch her back. while the rest of you forge ahead with careers, she might be making herself unemployable.

nevergoogle that wasn't a lemon drizzle cake, that was the MN bat.

I was a working mother with 2 sons, returning to work at 6 weeks both times. To me it just meant being very organised. I had a lot of support from DH ( though he worked full time too) we had a nanny when they were very little and she became our childminder once she was married and had her first child. I used to recruit a student in the summer or my mother would cover for teh odd week. I enjoyed my work so much that it was worth the little bit extra time and thought needed to ensure we were all ready in the morning and still ate nice food - I can't turn to packets and takeaways due to gluten allergy and vegetarianism in our family. I think sometiems that aprt time work is not the good idea it sounds, you are identifying yourself for the "mummy track" and have all the complications of working life with not too much of the rewards.

Hear,hear Ash and LaQueen!

Ah. I thought you post echoing mine and finishing 'and they fail to see the irony....' was a comment about my post before yours.
If it was just a coincidence then please ignore me.

I think sometiems that aprt time work is not the good idea it sounds, you are identifying yourself for the "mummy track" and have all the complications of working life with not too much of the rewards.

I quite like the mummy track. I prefer spending time with my dc's than at work.

I know LaQueen
Sometimes I have decided if I find someone funny and interesting or fuckdull and tedious before I have even asked if they are a sahm or a wohm

It's reckless but I am a crazy mixed up gal.

daughter, if you're reading this, i don't mean you! you sorted your career before having the baby. now you get to stay at home, play with the baby, and do lots of good things. that's my clever girl. i love you.

now look! i'm caught both ways. reasonably, i want to advise stripey not to be unaware and to keep some kind of eye on the possibility she might want to go to work. but my baby might think i'm criticising her, because she stays at home, too. no!

oh i've got to get off this thread! this hole's getting bigger and bigger. time to stop digging, bunnywoman!

I am not mocking either choice.

I am merely pointing out that the OP seems to lack empathy, won't understand the financial ins and outs of her friends and seems smug.

Nothing to do with whether she works in or out of the home.

DUMBFUCK BAKING!!!!!!!

I agree, it's great that we now have the same choices as men
the choice to be out all week and not see much of our kids awake
I feel liberated.