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to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

2 replies

StripeyBear · 09/02/2013 15:06

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be Sad

HelenMumsnet · 09/02/2013 20:42

Evening all. We'd just like to say we're nodding approvingly at the general PARD on this thread (and we're loving TUBE).

But, acronyms aside, there is some "ahem-ing" we need to do at the personal attacks on here. Please do remember personal attacks are against site rules; feel free to attack the post (rather than the poster) instead, though.

Also wanted to give a 5* star rating to Pagwatch's post below. It kinda sums up where we stand over in MNHQ, too...

@Pagwatch

Ashoething

Fwiw i think the bash and counter bash about sahm/wohm seems to produce posts of jaw dropping thickness, sometimes from even normal sensible posters.

Most people arn't boring or twee or selfish or brilliant or funny or dull - especially dull - because of how they spend their day.

My friends are a pretty even split between sahms and WOHMs. They are great and pretty similar in the things that matter - funny, responsible, interesting, kind, smart.

I don't understand the animosity and I don't understand the trotting out of clichés which, if men used them about women, we would think they were utter arseholes.

HelenMumsnet · 09/02/2013 20:51

@SPBInDisguise

You are wise Paggy. I sometimes find it difficult to believe you're a sahm

Norty. Grin

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