to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

[StripeyBear]

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be

yup - me too Noel - my mum was a teacher and a lone parent

My DCs are crap, walking and talking was gradual process - I envy all those pe

...ople whose kids just got up and went for it

I have three dc's and work ( on maternity at moment) and can still be around for all of them. Having one or more makes no difference. They are 7, 1 and 20

If DS does start bawling "Mummy don't leave me" I'll just shove a bit of lemon drizzle in his pie hole, so that's sorted

Am intrigued by the idea I "got pg by accident" though.

Am unsure where that came from :)

Olgaga does it matter - blimey I couldn;t give a flying monkeys left testicle if I missed my daughters first steps - I saw the 'first' step I saw - the rest is mawkish bollox IMHO

Yep and me my mum also worked.I hope my dds do too.

I find the best people to know how our children feel are me and dh, olgaga

Bit radical I know.

Clary Sun 10-Feb-13 23:03:53

My youngest is 19 months. I'm not sure what I'll do when they are at school or older - I only gave up work last July - though prior to that I was on maternity leave - so haven't been at work since DD was born.

I'm not sure what I'll do after that - our need for income has fallen a lot, as we've almost paid the mortgage. I enjoyed my last line of work, and depending on when i wanted to work again, and what opportunities there were, I might go back to that - I still get fairly regular offers for consultancy work - but I am not keen, as I left to get away from doing work!

I'd be quite interested to do something new. I did set up a successful business in my 20s, but I was a bit skittish at that age, and couldn't be bothered to apply myself to make it really work - I sold it to go do a PhD. I might go back and do some study or another professional qualification. A lot of my career has been very strategic and I wonder if it would be good to work more closely with clients - rather than just stakeholder groups....

The other factor is that my husband is older than me, so close to retirement. I had wondered about doing something completely different - say, buying somewhere to refurbish - I'd done a couple of (domestic) rennovations in my early 30s and I like the project management side and the interior design bit. I would be up for moving out to the sticks and perhaps rennovating a huge house with a couple of holiday lets - and keeping chickens and growing rapsberries - but it is all a decade away, so hard for this to feel real.

I suppose what I'm saying is - I am sure there will be good options - and I'm not terribly bothered....

shop bought lemon drizzle cake I'll bet cat

I'm with Gordy. As long as he walks, I don't mind who saw it first. Doesn't actually matter.

What a loads of old cods wallop about nurseries olgaga It's like anything, some are good some are not as good but not as you describe. Where the heel are you living???

Or hell

Totes shop-bought gordy

But I will rough it up a bit so I look good :)

Why did your friends become CMs if childcare is so damaging?

smudge the icing and knock a bit off the corner - it'll look fine

What a load of lemon drizzle! Just read all this thread

lmao!

LineRunner Sun 10-Feb-13 23:09:42
Are you actually a bit skint, OP? Is that what this is all about?

Absolutely. We have taken a HUGE tumble in income!

I must go to bed

If I'm vair lucky I will accidentaly get pg again and get a chicken and a raspberry to nuture.

atgirl1976 Sun 10-Feb-13 23:10:14
Oh PS
I went back to work PT when DS was 1 month old and FT when he was 4 months old. Which is when he started nursery.
If you are interested, the answer to "why did you bother having a child?" is this:
Have you seen the cute little outfits you can get?
Have you?

That is the reason you had a child? Really? I hope you are joking, but some how I can't tell... you are joking, aren't you?

oh FFS!

Night Catgirl - I am off to bed as well - work tomorrow - earning the money to keep my children in cute costumes and baby wigs

Is this all for real?