to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

[StripeyBear]

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be

I make my children walk into things and fall off slides - I have made a FORTUNE via You've Been Framed

gordy

Handbag I think she thinks she is a yummy mummy

catgirl yes it will all go spiffingly. My life is nothing like that described above and for the odd moment when it may feel like that it makes a good antidote for work

*LadyWidmerpool8 Sun 10-Feb-13 23:01:37

OP do you think a person's worth and importance is measured by their salary?

Mostly.

And that if you don't need a salary that you are better than those that do?

Not at all.

And do you think £26k is a comically low salary?

Yes.

That is what came across in your post. Everything you say makes you sound further detached from reality.

I hope that cleared that up then.

I should add I have never worked for M15 - nor would I. I doubt I would pass the positive vetting tbh.

Snort - oh Catgirl - OP you have been owned as my 10 year old would say!

This isn't funny anymore :( I'll try again when someone posts sahm/wohm in a few weeks. Laters

ummmm... if your life is"mostly" measured by your salry, and you don't earn aynthing

Just curious

How do you measure yours?

I'm not sure any of us thought you had worked for M15 maybe MFI back in the day !

Sulawesi - you made wine come out of my nose

It didn't happen to the OP, her kids weren't in nursery

As far as I'm concerned everyone makes their own choice but I do think WOHMs tend to set their face against the reality of the way their children feel.

Unfortunately we live in a world where early years workers by necessity have to put a gloss on things for the sake of the parents. They don't talk about how a casual visitor will make all the children cry because they were hoping it would be their mum coming to collect them. They have to pretend that everything's rosy - what else can they do? They don't mention to the parents the fact that their child walked for the first time, or spoke for the first time, for fear of making parents feel they've missed out.

They are far more honest about their feelings about full time childcare when they talk to SAHMs!

The childminding friends I've made have confirmed everything I ever thought about leaving my child in full-time care.

I know it's not for everyone, and I was lucky enough to have had 25 years of earnings behind me, a job which involved a lot of travel (so was impossible to continue), and a DH with similar earnings when I gave up my career. But I've never regretted being here for my DD whenever she needs me.

I am lucky enough that the work I do enables me to be out working about one week each month which we can just about manage logistically without any emotional hardship. But in my opinion, 12 years later my DD needs me to be around even more now than she did as a baby - and I am very grateful, just having the one, that I am able to do that for her.

Olgaga - thats a load of rubbish

parents can also BE nursery workers you know - I was once and I have been happy to use nursery care

*ummmm... if your life is"mostly" measured by your salry, and you don't earn aynthing

Just curious

How do you measure yours?*

Yes. Because, by your own standards, your 'worth' and 'importance' is pretty low, isn't it?

See here:

*>OP do you think a person's worth and importance is measured by their salary?

Mostly*

Oooh dear...

Sorry catgirl !

Yy obviously as working mum I have absolutely no idea how my own children feel

Never mind the fact that I was brought up by a working mum

They don't mention to the parents the fact that their child walked for the first time, or spoke for the first time, for fear of making parents feel they've missed out.

olgaga I think they're duty bound to, aren't they? If your DC has a leap of some kind, they are supposed to put it in their little milestone book. They do at ours, anyway. Nothing to do with upset; the parents need to know, I'd have thought