to think that the further you are from the world of work, the crazier being a working mum sounds?

[StripeyBear]

I did it for 3 years - motherhood and a (part-time, but) demanding job... when you were always running from pillar to post, and buying take-away pizza, and feeling guilty because your child was crying when you left, and always being tired and hassled and answering your blackberry on your days "off" and being f**ked off because your job wasn't half as interesting as the work you used to get when you were childless and in the office full-time-plus....

Almost 2 years of being a SAHM later, my working-mother-friends come round for coffee on their day off and moan about all of the above.. It sounds familiar, but now even their moaning exhausts me. I'm more in a swapping recipes for lemon-drizzle-cake and making my own pizza dough sort of head space. These days I just potter around - my whole life has slowed down.....

Don't get me wrong - I realise I'm fortunate that we can manage without the wage (and not everyone can), but I find I am barely worse off (once the childcare is taken into account, and it is so much easier to spend money wisely, now that I don't have to buy crappy pizza because I am too exhausted to cook or book my holiday at the last minute because I wasn't organised earlier). And life feels so much better now that I'm not always exhausted... and I actually have time to do interesting stuff like read (grown-up) books... and there is no stress around childcare and the like....

So when my friends come round and moan about their blackberries ringing and being side-lined for promotions and feeling stressed about organising a child's birthday party when they have no time to really do it and so on.... instead of feeling oodles of sympathy... all I can think is... WHY? WHY? Why are you doing it then?

AIBU? I sort of suspect I might be

Steve biddulph?? Blimey stripey, you've really been researching the topnotch academics then eh? Not just going for the people who want to knock out a few book sales?

That description is is like no nursery Ive ever entered

Stripey, I can only assume you were looking around foreign orphanages, rather than the wonderful nurseries some neighbourhoods have to offer.... Thinks of dd's English speaking, writing, singing, first aid trained key worker, who teaches French, yoga, sports and sculpture to the kids. How's your downward dog these days?

I presume these nurseries also did not teach the kids how to make lemon drizzle cake...

"do I want to leave the most precious person in my life in a small room everyday for the best part of half a decade, through the most formative period of her life, when her brain is growing faster than it ever will, and she is developing faster than at any other point - and leave her with some unknown person, who may change frequently - who is probably earning the minimum wage and can barely speak or write English, and is also busy looking after 2 other babies anwyay? I thought about that, and decided not to use a nursery."

That isn't very nice Stripey, it is almost as though you are trying to make people feel bad.

Well that's officially the most smug OP in the history of MN.

I work part-time in a demanding job but am now considering jacking it in create a range of lemon-drizzle cake recipes to flog to unwitting SAHMs who apparently have nothing else to think about all day (I mean, what?!).

Two mottos for you to adopt OP: (1) each to their own; and (2) circumstances dictate.

DSs key worker has a degree in Early Years Studies. She speaks English as do all the other staff, although I am sure some of them are clever enough to speak some other languages too.

They have 3 massive rooms, do reading, crafts, water, , baking, construction and messy play and go outside every day. in the huge garden which is crammed with outdoor play activities. They follow the EYFS curriculum. They have a rabbit and rear chickens from eggs and have a vegetable garden. There is a reading area, asensory area, a cosy area, a play area with toddler gym, toys, treasure baskets etc Plus they go on trips to the park etc. He's only 14 months but when they are in the next "class" they do dance classes, sport, drama, French, Aeorbics, softplay, football and ICT.

I'm not sure where you live or which nurseries you have been looking at.

Can she make a good lemon cake though cat girl?

I would leave now stripey- your attempts at humour aren't cancelling out your nasty snide op

Surely you've got a lemon drizzle cake that needs icing or something? (or should that be drizzling? I'm obviously a failure as a mother ..)

I shall find out Pickle and if not I shall remove DS at once.

He has baked me a cupcake whilst he has been there. If I am honest it would not have made TGBBO as it was slightly squashed and the icing can only be described as slip shod. There was a hint of toddler dribble and sand in the texture too. Frankly, it was a disgrace and I can never swap a recipie with my head held high again.

I don't know who I was more angry with. DS or his key worker. If they can't get the key life skills right then what am I bloody paying them for?

It's not MN Bingo until someone says, 'I feel sorry for you, OP.'

catgirl but has he made you a flagon of ale yet?

Ds' nursery pack them in crates and feed them findus lasagnes three times a day. Not one of the workers have ever had any training in childcare and the building bears an uncanny resemblance to one of those metal storage containers you see at the side of the railway. They charge £75 a day so I assume this is the best available. He goes 7 days a week so I can selfishly pursue my career in unicycling whilst reciting pi to ten figures. You may have seen me on YouTube or my blog? I made nearly 2k last year so I think in the long term, it's worth me putting my all into my career.

My dh makes amazing profiteroles and eclairs

Not yet, but I've bought him a sack of potatoes and a FisherPrice distiller, so I'm hoping for some vodka very soon.

He does mix a mean Mojito, although he can go overboard on the mint if not supervised

Handbag, you do know that MN frowns on spoiling children?

catgirl, I find potatoes can be exchanged for grain in most junior distilling operations, and if you add some of their breakfast juice you get a nice 'Quantro' effect.

Stripey

Your posts are so unpleasant and leave such a bad taste in my mouth, that I have to hide this thread, but not before saying that I genuinely hope that you never find yourself in the position of having no choice.

It really isn't fun, and it really isn't something to joke about

< whispers > you know what this thread proves to me is that WOHM are quick witted and have a cracking sense of humour

linerunner absolutely take your point. I'll keep him in a box in the boot from now on. Can't be too vigilant about these things.

catgirl ds prefers the vtech moonshine buddy to the fisher price. He indicates it gives a fresher bouquet and a smoother finish to his flavoured vodkas (so far we have had teddy, fruit pot and sudocrem varieties). Although the bloody thing is always talking to itself if you don't press it's buttons every five seconds.

janey if you google you will clearly see that studies show mothers who work and have a sense of humour are responsible for every single problem in the world! Including global warming, middle east unrest and dry lemon drizzle cakes. ;)

You can chuck him in my boot if you want, tenner a day. I've already drilled the holes in mine.

Oooh unregistered childcare? Now you're talking!

20 angry ladies... moldies

I think one Moonshine Mother to every eight little moonshiners sounds very generous.

Eight little moonshiners sitting on a wall
Eight little moonshiners sitting on a wall
And if one little moonshiner should accidentally fall
It'll be the fault of the mother who should have made some lemon drizzle cake

Well it nearly works, til the last line....