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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hide a little warning note to MIL when she comes to babysit tomorrow?

945 replies

Wheresmygalaxy · 08/02/2013 21:49

Tomorrow will be the 3rd time MIL has come to babysit for us since our son was born, hes 7 months.

The 1st time dp and I went to ikea and when we returned she was prattling on and on about applying for child tax credits, all about how wonderful sil is eligible for them but doesnt claim - good for her, thought it was an odd topic but she is odd Smile

so the next time she babysit upon our return she was now gabbering on about which local hospital is the best to go to, she didnt like the one i gave birth in and made it well known that it wasnt as good as the 1 her friends daughter went to, so again im thinking what on earth is she on about. Then after she had gone i opened a drawer in my bedside table only to find my next hospital appt check up letter was in there and it was clearly obvious that she had gone through it while i was out. I find this just really odd i know shes really nosey but to go through of all the things in the house my bedside drawer i just found weird. She has mentioned other things that have made me think how does she even know that but having put 2 and 2 together its clear shes snooping around while were out. I love her for coming to babysit, shes giving up her time but that doesnt mean come in and go through my things does it!

I mentioned it to DP nad he said yep she always used to do it to him and his sister growing up and in fact continued to clean their rooms up until the ages of 21 and 24 when they finally left home (believe me ive shared my views on that alone since i found out Hmm ).

so aibu to write a note something along the lines of "get out you nosey old cow" on a piece of paper. or something a bit more dramatic like some retirement home brochures with her name at the top Grin

OP posts:
Inertia · 10/02/2013 13:00

There is added mileage if DH uncle is with MIL when you go round -" Not only have you been through our private possessions, you've told a barefaced lie about it to your own brother - how do you think he feels to have you make a fool of him to cover for your snooping and lies?"

Might put them off using him as the heavies to pressurize you again.

ajandjjmum · 10/02/2013 13:01

I think you MUST establish who this loose lipped friend is, so that you can put them right. I think you DH should insist on being told who is gossiping about his family.

TheOldBamboo · 10/02/2013 13:07

Wow!

TeamEdward · 10/02/2013 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Herrena · 10/02/2013 13:09

I am so looking forward to seeing how this pans out! You may have become one of my personal heroes op....

WWGD?

CheeryCherry · 10/02/2013 13:17

I'm wondering if the mil will actually learn from this? Such a great thread!

waltermittymissus · 10/02/2013 13:18

Oh god are you there now??

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 10/02/2013 13:19

Play dumb. No MIL, we have no plans to move. We have not had any conversations with anyone about moving. Why would you think that? A friend? Which friend? How odd. Australia? What?

If she admits it, then the "I feel violated" line. Don't let her brush it off as a laugh, not very serious, you being over-sensitve, the only thing she could do because her son doesn't tell her things (sob), you over-reacting, minor in comparison to something she's just invented that you did to her. I'd tell her that you have a right to privacy and are appalled, horrified, violated etc - and then leave fast before she turns it around and makes it about her feelings. Because she will manage to make this your fault if you let her talk long enough.

If she starts crying / shouting, tell her you can see she is very tired and needs rest, and leave, fast.

Narked · 10/02/2013 13:21

I would make sure the forms disappeared, never mention them to Your DH and be shocked if she mentions Australia. It will drive her to distraction.

DeafLeopard · 10/02/2013 13:23

Unbelievable cheek of the woman! Well played OP - glad that DH is on side

starsandunicorns · 10/02/2013 13:26

Reading update to dp and he is shocked and agree mil did bring it on herself as i do. Marking place for more updates

NayFindus · 10/02/2013 13:28

Oh my God, it takes an age to sign up for Mumsnet. And the name GlitterBitch has gone. And Zebby. And FreshKnickers. This was page 18 when I started panicking I'd miss a really good bit trying. Reminded me why I gave up the other 10 times I tried to join up but this one's just too good to miss Do what BerthaBogcleaner said, try act as dumb as MIL (it'll be hard, I know), cool as a cucumber, reel her in nice and slow and make sure she keeps snooping so you can do the glitterbomb and make the bitch spill her guts like the utter loon she obviously is. String it out like Eastenders when it was good :D

kalidanger · 10/02/2013 13:29
GlaikitFizzog · 10/02/2013 13:29

Just remarking my place! Don't want to miss any update!

tinkerbelle31 · 10/02/2013 13:32

cant wait to see what happens next already marked my place and some ideas are brilliabt

fluffyraggies · 10/02/2013 13:33

I would make sure the forms disappeared, never mention them to Your DH and be shocked if she mentions Australia. It will drive her to distraction.

I thought the same at 1st, but oooooooh, don't know now ......

If there is a time coming where the 3 of you are sat together, cards on the table time and she says -
'yes, and i saw emigration forms in the other drawer'
and OP says -
'?????'
then poor DH isn't going to know what to think.

Better not to deny all knowledge of them and stick to the 'they were for a friend' story. It would be reasonable that DH hadn't known about them then.

Cheeio26 · 10/02/2013 13:34

Marking. Good luck op.

HobKnob · 10/02/2013 13:35

leaving footprints in talc

fluffyraggies · 10/02/2013 13:35

The focus will then immediately be thrown back on MILs snooping rather than 'what emigration papers'?

HanneHolm · 10/02/2013 13:37

you lot "marking your place"

you can " watch " threads, you know..

starsandunicorns · 10/02/2013 13:37

My dp reckons to fuss up to the emigration forms so he knows about them but i reckon to just get rid beacause his reaction if mil ask would be wtf ( truthful) and u can do great acting and hes fumming anyway about the estate forms

tinkerbelle31 · 10/02/2013 13:40

HanneHolm marking a places shows what updates have happend since you commented.

TidyDancer · 10/02/2013 13:42

What tinkerbelle said.

Just "FYI" Hanne. Now you "know". Wink

....

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 10/02/2013 13:47

Isn't that what the "bump and reset" thing does on the Watched threads list? Or the "bookmark" on the thread?

Chottie · 10/02/2013 13:47

I would deny all knowledge of Aussie forms too.... You want to keep focussed on the main issue and not get side stepped.

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