To hide a little warning note to MIL when she comes to babysit tomorrow?

[Wheresmygalaxy]

Tomorrow will be the 3rd time MIL has come to babysit for us since our son was born, hes 7 months.

The 1st time dp and I went to ikea and when we returned she was prattling on and on about applying for child tax credits, all about how wonderful sil is eligible for them but doesnt claim - good for her, thought it was an odd topic but she is odd

so the next time she babysit upon our return she was now gabbering on about which local hospital is the best to go to, she didnt like the one i gave birth in and made it well known that it wasnt as good as the 1 her friends daughter went to, so again im thinking what on earth is she on about. Then after she had gone i opened a drawer in my bedside table only to find my next hospital appt check up letter was in there and it was clearly obvious that she had gone through it while i was out. I find this just really odd i know shes really nosey but to go through of all the things in the house my bedside drawer i just found weird. She has mentioned other things that have made me think how does she even know that but having put 2 and 2 together its clear shes snooping around while were out. I love her for coming to babysit, shes giving up her time but that doesnt mean come in and go through my things does it!

I mentioned it to DP nad he said yep she always used to do it to him and his sister growing up and in fact continued to clean their rooms up until the ages of 21 and 24 when they finally left home (believe me ive shared my views on that alone since i found out ).

so aibu to write a note something along the lines of "get out you nosey old cow" on a piece of paper. or something a bit more dramatic like some retirement home brochures with her name at the top

I live in a rented flat that was previously owned by some chap who apparently upsized and moved on. I know most of this from my lovely chatty neighbour. But I also know because, despite a professional clean, I am still finding glitter from a 'congratulations!' card he received. A. Year. Later.

Oh, marked place again!

OP, I think you are playing this very, very well.

It is possible that she didn't look in the OP's drawer and has only seen the estate agent details.

If she brings up the subject of Aus the OP can say

"Oh for heaven's sake! Did you look through mine too? You saw the stuff I filled in with XXX a few weeks ago when we were mucking about. We thought it would be a laugh to get on that programme where they take you to Australia. Free holiday and all that."

Omg! Just read the whole thread and can't believe your mil's brass neck! What a cheeky cah!

Please update after you have been round, and I'm sorry for you having to deal with this vile woman!

Oh good, I'm glad your husband is mad at her. Not mentioning Australia and asking "but why were you looking in my drawer" repeatedly sounds like a good tactic. Can't believe she looked in your underwear drawer!

I don't think it's worth trying to get answers out of her. It'll just wind you up even more.

She'll either admit it and laugh it off like my friend would or more likely just tell ridiculous lies like 'Someone told me but I can't possibly say who because I promised not to betray them,' and then start shouting or crying.

I wouldn't be surprised if you were cast as the baddie for forcing everyone to confront just what a loon she is and how stupidly they've behaved - especially her brother.

Don't know what to suggest. I'd say my piece. You won't have to lock anything private away because she'll probably go through a little stage of tearfully refusing to come round because you don't trust her, you horrible person, you.

"Heard it from a friend??"

"But WHERE on earth would anyone get that idea from?"

I'd get some info from Al-Anon too & put it in your drawer with a post it note saying for MIL ......but then I'm a nasty cah

Galaxy you are a genius, glad DP is on side now.

Un-be-fucking-leavable! Well done OP! She deserves all she gets IMHO! And tbh, even if she was rooting through your drawers looking for the baby wipes etc, a piece of papers does not look like a pack of wipes, so she should never ever have read it even if she could come up with some bullshit excuse for rifling through your private things in the first place. She would never ever be allowed in my home again I can tell you!

She sounds positively toxic, getting uncle involved!
My mil uses other people in the family to do her battlework and oh boy doesn't it become tiresome.

She shouldn't have been snooping through your private things-End Off!!!
She doesn't like that she has been caught red handed so has made a cock & bull story to Uncle stating she had heard from others you were going away, thats probably to pull him in and get him onside.

I would be honest with your dh though as you don't want him taking her side, especially when when the talk of Australia comes up

Don't let her get away with the 'heard it from a friend story'. Make it perfectly clear that you know for a fact that this isn't true because you haven't said anything to anyone about moving away and therefore no-one could have told her because they didn't know anything to tell (or words to the same effect)

This is excellent stuff! OP I think you are playing this brilliantly! Even my DH is on tenterhooks to find out what happens when you go see her!

Well done... good luck visiting her!

Next time you need a baby sitter find yourself a nice normal person who won't rifle thru yr things are get blotto. Are you planning on sending ds to nursery? In which case if you already have one lined up you could ask one of their nursery workers to babysit. It is just not worth having her in your house. Sounds like saying nothing is the order of the day so actions speak louder than words.

At the very least get a lockable cabinet for bank statements and pension docs etc. and yy to notes in each draw saying "stop snooping, I've hidden all the 'interesting' things!!!"

Good luck OP. I hope she gets properly outed.

I'm meant to be cleaning but I think I'll mark my place instead.

Good for you OP. Talc idea was genius, takes me back to fake 'how to be a detective' books they used to sell when I was a teen

she's got some nerve!

defo agree on the:

we're not moving so nobody thinks we are - where did you say you got that idea from?

and

filled the forms in as a laugh to see if we could get a free holiday but, hang on, they were in my bedside drawer. how did you see them? were you in my drawers? what were you doing in my drawers mil?

then lots of privacy talk tears and loss of trust

no matter what though (as the daughter of a scheming manipulator - do not get angry. she'll pull out the martyr act!

I don't see how your DH or anyone else can possibly defend her for this. It's absolutely disgusting and I'd be FURIOUS! How dare she nose through your stuff?!

Can you say the tv show forms were because you fancied going on holiday, but couldn't afford it.

I'd be tempted, next time I visited, to airily announce during a lull in the conversation "....right, can someone keep an eye on the baby? I'm just going to pop upstairs and go through your drawers, oh and if you could just get any bank statements out that would be great....save me hunting for them haha!"

Same here Hermione - in fact I bought copies of them on eBay last year :o

She has no defence. I simply wouldn't have her alone in my house again. Can't wait to hear what she concocts