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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think you should give a friend a lift home if it's raining?

336 replies

eggsy11 · 08/02/2013 12:33

This may be more a chat thing, but think I need the harshness of AIBU to see if I do have the right to be mad at my friend!

Have done A LOT of favours for this friend, but won't include that in the argument since I didn't do them to be paid back... but it is what is annoying me about the situation.

Another mum at DS's nursery saw me and DS huddling under the doorway until the hail past. Said hello, grabbed her DS and drove home. DS was screaming because he was scared. He was under his raincover in the pram, and it was a 15 minute walk so it was only me that got wet. But it was still horrible and I was literally soaked to the skin.

I know the mum would of had to drop us home (5 min drive) and come back for her DS, as there was only 1 car seat. But there is no way i'd walk past my friend like that! She is always early to pick up her DS so it wouldn't of been an issue since it's daycare, not like at school.

Am I being unfair? Is it our fault we don't have a car? I just think it would of been nice!

(btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

OP posts:
Original poster
eggsy11 · 09/02/2013 18:35

If I was going to make something up, I think it would be a lot more interesting than this...Hmm can't people have trivial problems they take to heart without being called a troll anymore? /rolls eyes/

OP posts:
thefarmersintheden · 09/02/2013 19:19

Wow, just wasted an hour of my life reading this thread.

Obv yabu, op.

What can i say that others haven't?

Except for this bit:

btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

Cough bollocks cough

MardyPants · 09/02/2013 19:21

I will SELL my beloved limited edition 2 seater sports car, BUY a 4 seater and a child car booster seat thing, DRIVE to where you live, and drive you home EVERY DAY if you learn to use 'could have' 'should have' etc, instead of 'could OF' 'should OF'!!

In fact I'll give you the the 4 seater. Should of thought of that in the first place Wink

YAB total and utter U.

catinboots · 09/02/2013 19:23

You should of offered to pay for lessons as well Mardy

MortifiedAdams · 09/02/2013 19:25

OP of there is only one thing you take from this thread please let it be learning to use have instead of of.

My eyes.

MortifiedAdams · 09/02/2013 19:25

Haha xpost with Marsy

MortifiedAdams · 09/02/2013 19:26

Mardy

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 09/02/2013 19:35

Evening.

Can we all cool it with the personal attacks please? For those who don't know already, it's against the site rules to attack another poster personally. For those who do know already,

catinboots · 09/02/2013 19:37

Sorry Helen. You should of said earlier.

ClutchingPearls · 09/02/2013 19:48

OP your poor planning caused this issue not your friend going about her usual business. You could have collected later, called a taxi, asked your friend.

My nursery charges daily rates but I have arranged an hourly fee with mine (I only use 9-3) as couldn't afford it otherwise. Your friend may have done the same.

Sugarice · 09/02/2013 19:53

But have you spoken to your friend yet regarding this ?

< prepared to be ignored again by OP>

ExitPursuedByABear · 09/02/2013 23:16

of of of of of of of of

have have have have have

Take your pick.

LouMae · 09/02/2013 23:33

If you don't have a car, your DS had better get used to the rain, because he's going to experience a lot more of it! That's just life when you don't have a car.

Shodan · 09/02/2013 23:39

CountTurdula Fri 08-Feb-13 17:49:11

"YABU by the way. She probably had shit to do."

Don't you mean a shit to do?

Isityouorme · 10/02/2013 07:18

I'm still triaged why it is not her fault that the OP doesn't have a car! Whose fault is it then?

Trills · 10/02/2013 13:52

Good point, she may have really needed the loo.

snowtimelikethepresent · 10/02/2013 13:55

Trills

she may of really needed the loo surely Grin

ilovesooty · 10/02/2013 14:45

If she thought about me a bit without having to ask it wouldn't bother me so much! I'm too shy to bring it up as she obviously sees it as a non-issue!

If you lack assertiveness skills that's hardly her fault.

toffeelolly · 10/02/2013 15:34

If your ds was so upset with rain, why not ring for a taxi IF you have a phone. Nobody has to give you a lift !

pigletmania · 10/02/2013 15:36

Yabvvvu I am saying this as a non car driver. She would have to go out of her way to give you a lft and leave her ds behind whilst taking you home. You never ever expect. If its ffered it's nice if not nevermind, a bit of rain won't melt you!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/02/2013 15:42

Get a car OP, or get used to walking in all weathers. it is not the duty of other Mothers to ferry your kids around just because there is a bit of rain. And unbelievabe that you should judge that she should HAVE been running your around rather than spending quality time with her own child.

FakePlasticLobsters · 10/02/2013 15:54

It would have been nice for her to offer, presuming she didn't have an urgent reason to get home which you are unaware of and it was possible to leave her son a little longer.

She may not have realised why your son was screaming.

But you say that in the past she has asked you to do favours for her and you have agreed.

The difference here is that you didn't ask her and she didn't read your mind.

She may have been distracted and thought to herself later on that she could/should have offered you a lift, but if you didn't ask at the time you can't really complain that she didn't offer, especially as you say you didn't do the favours for her in expectation of her doing them back.

drivingmisspotty · 10/02/2013 16:01

Eggsy sorry if someone has mentioned this before as I haven't read the whole thread but I think you and your friend might be having a difference where she is 'ask culture' and you are 'guess culture' see here
philosophistry.com/archives/2008/06/ask-culture-vs.html

I heard about this first on mumsnet and found it really useful as I always thought it was rude to ask for favours too but it is just another way of doing things. ..

pigletmania · 10/02/2013 16:10

If he was really scared why dident you just phone for a taxi! My ASD dd has meltdowns ccasionally and I have had to call a taxi if I'm far rater than try and walk her home

pigletmania · 10/02/2013 16:11

I could never have asked even if you have done her favours. Why dident you just ask her, she cannot read your mind Hmm

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