To think you should give a friend a lift home if it's raining?

[eggsy11]

This may be more a chat thing, but think I need the harshness of AIBU to see if I do have the right to be mad at my friend!

Have done A LOT of favours for this friend, but won't include that in the argument since I didn't do them to be paid back... but it is what is annoying me about the situation.

Another mum at DS's nursery saw me and DS huddling under the doorway until the hail past. Said hello, grabbed her DS and drove home. DS was screaming because he was scared. He was under his raincover in the pram, and it was a 15 minute walk so it was only me that got wet. But it was still horrible and I was literally soaked to the skin.

I know the mum would of had to drop us home (5 min drive) and come back for her DS, as there was only 1 car seat. But there is no way i'd walk past my friend like that! She is always early to pick up her DS so it wouldn't of been an issue since it's daycare, not like at school.

Am I being unfair? Is it our fault we don't have a car? I just think it would of been nice!

(btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

just for the record

I WOULD RATHER WALK IN THE HAIL/RAIN/SLEET A SHORT WAY THAN TAKE DD UNNECESSARILY IN CAR WITHOUT CAR SEAT. AND WALKING IN BUGGY HAS ALWAYS CALMED MY DC DOWN REGARDLESS OF THE WEATHER

Given this child is still in a buggy, he's probably a bit small for a sling it in the boot style booster.

Previous post should have said needs AT LEAST a high backed booster.

Nursery is 3/4 right? Or is it younger... Sorry, not sure of the English system for that age group.

The legal age until which a high back seat is needed here is 4. Ds2 (almost 4) has one in our cars but I have no problem with him using a booster seat (cushion) for a short drive and he has done when getting lifts from about 2 yo.

But then as maryz already pointed out, we're a bit gung ho about the seat thing here, I'm taking it from this conversation that's not the case

Round here as long as they have a belt round them and it's not round their neck we're happy.

'Not the case in Britain' that should have s aid

This wasn't an emergency, just a minor inconvience. If a bit of weather bothers you that much then invest in learning to drive/get a car. We pour a lot of our resources into that for our family's benefit, not to leave DS in the nursery for longer to around after other people.

And I drive but walk a lot, and on rainy days prefer to go out with the buggy because DS stays drier (raincover over undercover, stays on until we're out at the other end). Obviously not for miles and miles, but a 15min walk with him under the raincover and me in a good coat is preferable to wrestling him out of the buggy again, into the car (getting him soggy in the process), folding the buggy down (getting me wet too), driving for a few minutes and then reversing the process.

I'd have stoped for the lady in the snow with children who can get themselves in and out of the car though.

Be honest OP, when you got home I bet you posted a status about getting soaking wet on the way home and probably used the words 'Ho hum' 'never mind' and berated yourself for not getting a car. I'm right aren't I? Tell me I'm right. :o

YABU by the way. She probably had shit to do. You had 15 minutes to spare.

Yep, I wouldn't have thought to do 2 trips, if you had one of those buggies that can be turned into a car seat I would, but not drive to your house, back then take my DS. I also don't know anyone who has spare carseats in their car. We have only ever given lifts to people who have their own carseats.

OP - it wouldn't have occurred to most people. It really wouldn't.

Summerrain - a cushion is not a booster seat, and is more dangerous than not using one at all (I've learned from mumsnet)

Sorry, re-read and realise you may be talking about a booster seat, rather than a random cushion.

yabvvu... she didnt have room..

I think if you had asked her then she would have done it.

If you had asked and then she had said no then you may have some recourse - you ask for a favour.

13... Even I'm not gung ho enough to use an actual cushion I was just clarifying that what I meant by booster seat was what ye seem to call a booster cushion

I will drive to wherever you live and give you a lift home if you please stop saying 'should of'.

It's making me cringe awfully.

My car blew up this week so we've been walking to school. One of the other mums apologised to me yesterday because she'd driven past us. She has 3 kids so her back seat was full. I didn't even notice her drive past because we were busy looking at the different houses and chatting about what was going on.

If I'd wanted a lift I would have asked somebody for one.

Yabu it's only a 15 min walk in the rain.

If I have a spare car seat in my car I would offer a lift, if I didnt, then I wouldn't.
OP you said yourself that she didnt have a spare seat. So I'm not sure why you think that she would do this.

It would not have crossed my mind to do what you expected. When you decide to collect your child, that's what you do, you don't then start thinking about what you can do for others, it just doesn't enter your head.

You should have just asked her.

You can't possibly know how much petrol she has or what's in her boot!

I would probably have asked you if you were ok and if you wanted a lift if we were close friends.

I would seriously be changing nurseries if they call you in to feed someone else's child and administer medicine!

YABU.

Your friend can't be expected to know that you would have liked a lift if you didn't ask her.

To be honest, as a driver with only one car seat in my car, it would never have occurred to me to offer to leave DS in the nursery for at least another 20 minutes (including time to get your DS & his pushchair in and out of the car), just because a friend was standing in the nursery door with an upset DC. Especially if I didn't know that the DC was scared of the weather. I also have a small car and it's a bit of a squeeze getting DS's pushchair in the boot unless the boot is almost empty.

I do think that these favours you're doing for your friend sound like they're getting out of hand though. It's ridiculous for anyone to expect you to frequently give up your lunch break so that you can dash to the nursery to feed her son and deliver teething granules, especially if you have to hide from your son while you're doing that. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to do less of that, although I don't think you should use not getting a lift as justification for stopping the lunchtime favours IYSWIM.