To think you should give a friend a lift home if it's raining?

[eggsy11]

This may be more a chat thing, but think I need the harshness of AIBU to see if I do have the right to be mad at my friend!

Have done A LOT of favours for this friend, but won't include that in the argument since I didn't do them to be paid back... but it is what is annoying me about the situation.

Another mum at DS's nursery saw me and DS huddling under the doorway until the hail past. Said hello, grabbed her DS and drove home. DS was screaming because he was scared. He was under his raincover in the pram, and it was a 15 minute walk so it was only me that got wet. But it was still horrible and I was literally soaked to the skin.

I know the mum would of had to drop us home (5 min drive) and come back for her DS, as there was only 1 car seat. But there is no way i'd walk past my friend like that! She is always early to pick up her DS so it wouldn't of been an issue since it's daycare, not like at school.

Am I being unfair? Is it our fault we don't have a car? I just think it would of been nice!

(btw she wasn't in a rush. pictures on facebook of them cuddled up watching cbeebies etc when they got home!)

Op, YABU.

When my son took his English GCSE many years ago he got a "D", much to my disgust and then I started looking at his homework. I was horrified to read "would of", could of", all over the place. Needless to say I put him right pretty quickly, but I couldn't believe that he had got to the age of 16 and this had never been corrected, so, yes, this does happen in schools in this country.

Right, i ve read through the whole thread.

Firstly - It would of been nice of her to offer a lift seen as her ds had not yet been alerted that she was there. It was obvious your child was upset, it was pissing it down, you were anxious etc, and it would of been nice of her to use her initiative to offer to give you a lift home considering she expects you to go out of your way for her.

She probaly didnt think to do two trips. YABU to expect her to use her initative and offer to help. She would of been unreasonable to refuse to do you a favour if you had asked her for the lift considering you go out of your way many times for her, even though it is very inconvienent for you.

After you mentioning what you do for her, i think shes abit of a piss taker tbh. The friendship sounds very one sided. I would stop letting her rely on you so much.

losing not you too! Have not of. FFS, in off to pedant's corner.

HEY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING NOW? I NEVER SHOUT BUT IT'S FRIDAY SO WHAT THE HELL

OI, CAT THAT'S A BIT HARSH.

HEY HOW COME YOU'VE GOT YOUR BOOTS BACK ON?

I LIKE IT. FEELS CATHARTIC.

BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY FOR FEBRUARY WEATHER

Venus...

I do find it odd that the majority of posters wouldn't offer a lift. Why not?

YABU.
I wouldn't expect her to make 2 journeys.

Maryz.... In our defense, we're getting better in that respect. 95% of people I know use seats for under 5s and a good few do beyond that. Most have boosters on every rear seat.

But yea, there's a more relaxed attitude in general.

I do find it odd that the majority of posters wouldn't offer a lift. Why not?

Because it wouldn't have registered as a possibility with no car seat. I don't think along the lines of doing two trips usually but I would if prompted.

Summer, for me, it's a case of would I see Eggsy11 before I'd picked up my own child and think, "Hmm, Eggsy will have to walk in this vile weather as she doesn't drive. I know, I'll leave my own child in nursery a bit longer while I put Eggsy's DS's wet buggy in my boot, take them home and then come back and collect my own DC." No, I wouldn't think that. If I could fit them all in without faffing and had enough car seats, no doubt I would. However, I think the OP is projecting massively and probably feels unable to say no to this friend, even though she resents the, frankly, insane amount of stuff she does for said friend. Then, when said friend doesn't react in the way Eggsy wants her to, it all becomes a rather large issue. Hence the thread.

I do find it odd that the majority of posters wouldn't offer a lift. Why not?

• Because it would mean going out of my way
• because it would mean doubling up on trips
• Because it would mean leaving my child at nursery for longer than I needed/wanted

-Because (dependant on age of child) it would mean adjusting straps in the car seat -Because by the time you had faffed getting said straps right, child in seat, pram down and space made in the car for it they could have probably walked home and would be equally as wet anyway.

I am happy to give lifts normally and often do but in this situation at best I would apologise for not being able to.

Avon, totally agree with you on you last point.

I was just surprised reading through by the general consensus of 'you choose not to have s car so it's your own fault you got wet, why should she have helped'

I was also a little surprised by how few people carry s spare booster seat. What about when you need to collect a relative/friend's child in an emergency? Or if your bringing a friend round to play with child?

I've always had boosters for every seat in the back, even before I had three kids.

My nursery charges also if the child is left there for extra time- so I am ALWAYS rushing.

If i had no car seat, it would never ever occur to me to make 2 trips and be late.

I RECKON THAT WILL BE DELETED CAT

I don't have a spare booster seat. I don't have any booster seats at all. If it was an emergency I'd borrow or possibly buy one

I have a spare booster seat at home, I don't carry it with me all the time though as I am more likely to transport adults in the other seat than children and I don't have space in the boot for it (its a HBB which is mainly used when I am transporting my nephew)

Your DS would have been scared and confused at returning to nursery ? Time to change nursery then.

YABU

I store them in the footwells if the seat is needed... But then my car is a tip anyway

But i don't understand why you didn't just ask?? if you are such good friends it wouldn't be cheeky? And at no stage did you say to her DS is scared or rain- if you had said that then if she was a good friend she should have said would you like a lift then.. but you didn't tell her- she spoke to you long enough for you to ask her for a lift/tell her the specific issue and you didn't
But i think most people who are used to walking everywhere don't mind walking in the rain so how was she to know?
to the poster who was stuck at the busstop in the snow - i think that is different and i would expect drivers/friends to stop then as that is extreme weather and you are obviously not able to go inside.

in an emergency you can give children lifts without booster seats anyway

Surely a child of nursery age needs a high backed booster anyway so the type you could store in a footwell wouldn't do. I would rather walk and get wet than use a booter cushion for DS (unless it was a proper emergency of course)