DP & I have been together almost 2 years. A couple of weeks ago he moved in with me in the house I own, which has been a real big deal for both of us; for him because he has never lived with anyone before and for me because of trust issues caused by a cocklodging ex who didn't pay his way. I was adamant that I wanted an equal 50/50 relationship this time around in terms of finances and he was adamant that he would never take the piss with money.
This month has turned out to be an expensive month with various family commitments and buying new furniture to accommodate his belongings, etc, so we've already exceeded our 'food and household' budget for the month, with 18 days to go until payday. We earn a similar salary, the only difference being that I have access to credit and he doesn't, so it looks like it will fall on my shoulders to subsidize the budget. He was keen to stress that as soon as he got paid he would immediately pay me back half the overspend and while I don't doubt he will, it seems likely he'll be back in exactly the same situation running out of money before the subsequent payday because March also has several sizable financial commitments that we can't ignore.
Both of us love spending time with friends (many of them mutual friends), but recently I have turned down many nights out and things that would cost a lot of money because my priority is our home life. Today DP comes home from work and announces that at half term - when I'd really been looking forward to spending some time with him - he's going to go and stay with one of his friends for the week. This friend lives a 600 mile round trip away, so god knows how much petrol money that is, plus this friend is what his sister and several of our friends refer to as a 'force nine disaster zone'. He's the same age as us (33), yet he lives in a grotty shared house with his two band mates who do nothing except get wasted every night and sleep all day. I know exactly what his week away will entail - getting off his faces and spending a fortune on drink and drugs. Apparently this friend is in a bad way because all he wants is "someone to settle down with and a place to call home" (ie: exactly what DP has with me) but he's been saying this for years and he never does anything to help himself.
There are several activities that I wanted DP and I to do together over half term which he deemed "to expensive", yet he suddenly has the money to go and get wankered with his fucked up friend for a week? This is out of character for him and has taken me by surprise. Otherwise our relationship is good. AIBU to tell him he's being selfish and that I think he's got his priorities skewed?