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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for flouting hospital 'no sibling' rule for ebf baby?

659 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2013 14:57

DS had an operation yesterday. He needed me to be there. Breastfed baby also needed me.

I took my Aunt to look after my ds and we were sent initially to a waiting room. The plan was for her to keep him there and for me to pop out of the ward to feed him.

However, we were there for half an hour and my ds started to ask for a feed, so I started to bf. Literally 2 sucks in, we were called. I pulled him off and he screamed so I jigged him about (which quietens him as a distraction) and moved towards the ward with him in tow.

The nurse told me he wasn't allowed. I told her that I needed to finish his feed and then I would take him back to my aunt. I offered to vrubg ds ub 10 mins but she got arsey saying that ds would have to have his operation cancelled if he missed his slpt. Nurse started tutting about him disturbing the other patients and that there was a strict no-sibling rule that I knew about as it was in the letter (it was).

so WIBU?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 06/02/2013 10:08

Fair enough. Have read a lot of the thread but not all-will do so and come back later. I can't imagine what your answer to my question can be though that would indicate that wouldn't have been the ideal thing to do

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:09

It would probably have the same effect with a bottle-fed 7 month. Baby's starving and whinging, sees you prepare the bottle, kicks legs and arms, give him two sucks then take it away and walk out of the room with it.

Difference is you can leave the bottle with the baby's carer.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 06/02/2013 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roopoo · 06/02/2013 10:12

Contacted the ward?
My DS is under consultant care and every letter sent has a contact number on.
If I had any query over info received I would call to clarify.
Although you did not expect to feed you knew it was a possibility. You were sent the info stating no siblings so you should have called and clarified.

Hope your DS is ok.

kinkyfuckery · 06/02/2013 10:12

Does anyone want to tell me the backstory/history here? How are you all accessing the OPs previous posts? I looked but they all seem to be deleted Confused

StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:17

DP not currently around sover

Roopoo, there was just the hospital number. When I got to the hospital, we got sent from one department to the next before we eventually got to the place ds was going to have his operation.

Hospital isn't something I do very often, but to clarify, no, I really didn't expect feeding baby on the ward to be a possibility, and after that initial feed that couldn't be interrupted, he didn't go on the ward again.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 06/02/2013 10:18

Sorry OP as still haven't covered all the posts I've yet to read but surely the question remains that whether baby DS was bottle or breast fed you should have take steps to ensure he could be dealt with in the short time you were obligated to pay attention to elder DS. If he was a newborn I could understand it but surely there are distractions you could use for an older baby

kinkyfuckery · 06/02/2013 10:18

No, I'm curious. You (and some other posters) seem to think people's reactions to this thread is because of 'who you are', but I don't appear to know who the fuck you are.

VoiceofUnreason · 06/02/2013 10:19

Starlight says "I'll just have to keep repeating myself and it is boring"

  1. I agree with you, it is boring
  2. So WHY are you doing it?
  3. What is the PURPOSE in this thread?

You asked if you were BU. Majority thought you were, minority thought you weren't. Perfectly fair. Yes, you don't have to agree with the majority, minorities have rights too as we saw last night in Parliament, but it serves no useful purpose in continuing and, taken with previous threads, does not put you in a great light.

Yes, it may have been an inconvenience or a nuisance but I think I'd have been more focused on my child who was about to undergo an operation quite honestly.

At times we all have to suck it up. Hospitals, like schools and workplaces, have timetables and rules and regulations for all sorts of reasons but generally for the common good. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Sometimes in society we just have to accept things even when we don't agree with them. How we respond to these occasions says a lot about ourselves. How you are responding on this thread says a lot about you.

Bowlersarm · 06/02/2013 10:19

I have to go out now so not ignoring you if you come back on that one :)

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:20

I'm the Devil Incarnate, clearly.

OP posts:
nipersvest · 06/02/2013 10:21

it's not a witchhunt, the op making adamant posts on this thread which previous posts/threads contradict.

socharlottet · 06/02/2013 10:21

YABU.If he was a young baby I could see it would be difficult but at 7 months old can't he have a sippy cup and bits of finger food.Or surely your other DC could have managed without you for a few minutes whilst you nipped to the waiting room.I can't be doing with these 'the rules don't apply to me' types.Oh and not agreeing with you does not make someone a bully!

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:22

Bowler It's all there. Read it when you come back perhaps.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:24

The 'links' have been explained, but even if they had not been, they don't actually make any difference to the issue.

A demand bf baby, who eats roast dinners, cannot be expected to have their first feed of the morning interrupted, especially when the law and hospital policy protect that right.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 06/02/2013 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VoiceofUnreason · 06/02/2013 10:28

OK, Starlight, I'll repeat myself too:

You got your answer to your original WIBU a long time ago. But you continue to 'protest'.

  1. So WHY are you doing it?
  2. What is the PURPOSE in this thread?

Not a witchhunt, am genuinely wondering.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:28

I'm not on my own sovery. I just have a 'situation' and did not want to postpone my ds' operation as he couldn't access his Speech and Language therapy whilst he could not hear.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:32

Catharsis from a stressful situation,
Opening of discussion of baby's rights and interested in general opinion of whether different rules should apply to 7 week olds and 7month olds.
Gathering ideas going forward about how things could be done better next time (dd has the same operation shortly)
Garnering an idea of what I might be able to do to improve things for people behind (i'e contact bfing specialist).
Challenge predjudices of people who share the views of the nurse.

And probably lots of other reasons that I'm not particularly aware of.

MN, on the whole, can be pretty pointless, and a way to occupy the time during the relentless and frequent feeds.

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 06/02/2013 10:33

It's not a witch hunt OP, to call you on a rather large inconsistency to do with what you have said about your circumstances.

Your thread title and indeed the whole premise of your thread is to do with an EBF baby.

Elsewhere on this site a couple of days ago you've talked about him heartily eating solids. What are we to do? Ignore that fact?

If you wanted a hypothetical discussion that's fine, but at least let posters know that's the situation. Otherwise it's annoying.

Anyway - IME you can get allot info out of staff at hospitals if you try. 'Can i send my son's Aunt in with him for now and sign the first set of consent forms in here while i quickly finish this feed? Then we can swap and i'm all yours' may have eased the situation at the very least.

kinkyfuckery · 06/02/2013 10:34

So are the 'facts' in this thread actually true, or was it just to open a discussion about a bf baby's rights?

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:34

Soch I take it you've not read the thread either.

I'll probably leave it now, as new posters aren't reading the thread (probably because it is quite long) and making the same assumptions all over again. The answers are already written. I can't be faffed repeating yet again, as the answers have already been repeated quite a number of times.

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 06/02/2013 10:35

'Can i send my son's Aunt in with him for now and sign the first set of consent forms in here while i quickly finish this feed? '

Fluffy, THAT is ALSO already covered in the thread. Nurse said aunt couldn't as she wasn;t next of kin.

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 06/02/2013 10:36

I've read the whole thread, i was here last night.

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