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Original poster

It's up to mums to teach their boys that pubic hair on women is normal!?

296 replies

Uppatreecuppatea · 04/02/2013 21:55

I've read countless surveys and reports over the last few months that state that young men would be 'grossed out' if they went to bed with a woman and found that she had pubic hair.

They seem to think that all women either come hair free or should wax it all off.

I think a lot of this attitude comes down to them viewing porn where it's normal for a woman to have zero pubic hair and a neat little pudenda.

It's a worry. I quizzed the local boys who work in our pub and they all wax their chest and think pubic hair is disgusting on both men and women.

So glad I am married to a man who appreciates the 70's!

But what is in store for our young girls?

OP posts:
kimorama · 05/02/2013 13:01

pubes should be taught in senior schools (or maybe not)

11Plustrauma · 05/02/2013 13:03

SDTG - pass some of yours my way please Grin

but you know, really, if a bloke or a girl is that upset about a bit of hair, or the size of your boobs, or willy, or anything else to do with your anatomy - then really they aren't that into you and you should tell them to fuck off

kimorama · 05/02/2013 13:05

or words to that effect llplus

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/02/2013 13:07
Tailtwister · 05/02/2013 13:07

Well, I do think that by the time my sons are having sex they'll know that pubic hair is 'natural' and won't need me to tell them that. Their own personal preference at the time won't be any of my business. Fashion changes over time, so God knows what it will be in a decade. What I will teach them is to respect their partner, whether that happens to be a man or a woman.

It's not up to the parents of sons OP, it's up to the parents of daughters to teach them to respect themselves and if they don't get the respect they deserve from a partner, to walk away.

11Plustrauma · 05/02/2013 13:08

I haven't had that many sexual partners. I do a trim and a bit off the sides and the top. I have never ever had any complaints or even any comments. Where are all these men who care? Similarly, I've seen men with hairy chests, full soft hairy chests to none, and men's genitalia with hair trimmed, almost all off and fully natural. I don't give a toss. It doesn't matter. If the getting down and dirty is working like it should then it shouldn't.

(I have never watched porn though)

TheFallenNinja · 05/02/2013 13:09

I guess it's just a fad and I suspect that the guys who claim that it is disgusting are essentially judging a book by its cover. I'm from the generation where I would reasonably expect nothing less than a bath mat down there but as this generation seems to believe that they invented sex (like many other generations) then I guess they want to put their own slant on it.

11Plustrauma · 05/02/2013 13:10

Tail - I disagree. I would say it's not for mothers of daughters to teach them specifically anything. It's for all parents of children of any gender and sexual preferences to teach those children that all kinds of everything is normal in every body size, shape, form.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/02/2013 13:13

TheFallenNinja - I think every generation thinks they invented sex.

Tailtwister · 05/02/2013 13:16

Sorry 11Plustrauma I thought that was what I had said...

11Plustrauma · 05/02/2013 13:17

It may be me not understanding Tailtwister I'm full of the cold and very grumpy.

Writehand · 05/02/2013 13:18

Went to a party 2 weeks ago with a slightly pissed mate who accosted a bunch of rather good looking well-dressed young men, and dived straight in with the pubic hair question. What did they think?

Seems they don't want it. She said it was a fashion generated by porn, they said it didn't matter. Pubic hair was a no no.

She announced dramatically, hadn't they noticed that it was "Always a choice between bush or rash?" Said she'd never been able to get rid of hers without nasty consequences. Ingrown hairs, spots, etc. "Last time I had mine done I ended up a week later looking like a badly plucked turkey. With mange. And impetigo."

The boys were looking uncomfortable now. One of them asked "Can you not have no bush and no rash?"

No, she said. Perfect bald pussies were only found on porn actresses, who probably had theirs done on the day of filming and were heavily made up to conceal any rashes or bumps. And imo she's right. I certainly have never achieved no bush without a rash, and gave up long long ago.

The topic came up at home too. As I posted recently, I had a conversation with both my sons, separately, and brought up this body hair business. The bald porn look is now so widespread that boys expect girls to remove most or all of their pubic hair. I pointed out the porn link, and said it was a fashion and one of which, as a liberal old punk, I strongly disapproved. I asked them to reject the necessity for high maintenance pubic topiary, and told them that, in my view, it was oppressive to women -- telling girls that their natural appearance in that area was unacceptable. The boys took my rant quite well. They are used to me sounding off about political and ethical issues. Smile

MaryPoppinsMassiveSack · 05/02/2013 13:21

^ I honestly thought I'd invented masturbation

bubbles1231 · 05/02/2013 13:37

I suppose the advantage of shaving it all off, is that you never have to see it go grey.
Now there's a discussion- Would you dye it to match the hair on your head, shave, or be a silver fox down below???

ModernToss · 05/02/2013 13:45

I coincidentally had that conversation at home recently, Writehand.

My sons (22 and 20) both said that they didn't mind neatness, but that complete hairlessness struck them as slightly 'paedo', and that adult women have pubic hair.

While I would defend anyone's right to do whatever they like, I was cheered by this response.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/02/2013 14:00

I'm seeing the future of mil threads now.
Instead of disgruntled threads about "she dared to pick up my baby, it'll be, be she shaves her pubes, and my son never told me.
What can I do, I brought him up as a feminist"

Ormiriathomimus · 05/02/2013 14:28

I have never met shaved male genitals in real life. I can't help thinking I'd have to run screaming in horror - too too much flesh, all those pink lumps!! But I tend to be one of those old-fashioned types that don't find genitals aesthetically pleasing to look at....

Writehand · 05/02/2013 14:33

But I tend to be one of those old-fashioned types that don't find genitals aesthetically pleasing to look at...

I'd disagree with you there, Ormiriathomimus. I think male genitals are lovely. Very aesthetic -- sort of aerodynamic. But only when erect. When flaccid they just look kinda bobbly and vulnerable.

Ormiriathomimus · 05/02/2013 14:49

LOL writehand - like Concorde or the space shuttle ? Grin I can accept they are perfectly well 'designed' for their task, and form should follow function, but I still think a light veil of hair is a minor improvement.

SonOfAradia · 05/02/2013 15:02

I can't agree with the OP - like a lot others here I think that it should be up to both parents to let their children know that whatever they want to do regarding body hair is their own personal choice and it's OK to be not shaved/shaved/somewhere in between.

For myself, though, I have to say that lack of pubes on a woman is a real turn-off. And I mean a REAL turn-off.

Shallow of me? Perhaps, but then a lot of women on here say they wouldn't want to be with a bearded man, hate hairy chests etc, so it's pretty much the same. My disadvantage of course is that in the days before I settled down with lovely DW, I didn't get to know about it until it was Too Late.

Paiviaso · 05/02/2013 15:46

This doesn't equate with what I've experienced in real life. I know several guys that shaved off their pubic hair to give it a try - and never again! because it is so uncomfortable as it grows back. I've never shaved off mine, and no male has ever commented on it either way. In fact, multiple boyfriends have commented they don't even care if I shave my legs. So I'm not encountering this apparent hair-hatred!

Original poster
Uppatreecuppatea · 05/02/2013 20:35

Golly, some of you are so judgey-pants!

OP here.

I'm not a weirdo - I talked to the guys in the pub because I live in a very rural area where we all go to the pub and the bar staff are part of our group of friends. We all sit at the bar and natter. It's not weird or aggressive. Hair removal is considered innocent conversation! Jeez, one of them is on Grindr (and a prolific waxer)!

Thank you writehand for confirming my belief.

I do think some of you are deluded to not believe that the proliferation of porn will not help form the views of young people on how bodies should look. You can't even google Moshi Monsters (on an unprotected computer) without links to porn popping up (pornhub.com - for example).

The fact is, porn 'companies' target children and watching porn alters children's thoughts about life, bodies and sexuality. You cannot possibly compare that to children seeing a statue in Rome.

When I grew up (70's) I might have found a girlie magazine. Nowadays, most 11 year olds have seen porn online.

And yes, both parents should educate their children. I thought that was implicit.

OP posts:
thebody · 05/02/2013 20:41

I draw the line at chatting to my grown up in their 20s sons about pubes!!!!

I wax mine and I know my dds (12,14 ) shave legs and no idea about their pubes and frankly don't want to know.

This is a non issue and personal preference.

Like tatoos and piercings.

Original poster
Uppatreecuppatea · 05/02/2013 20:43

Isn't everything a 'non-issue', really? If it doesn't concern you, then it's not an issue.

Might as well obliterate MN from the universe.

OP posts:
thebody · 05/02/2013 20:43

Oh and porn has always been there even in Victorian times and child orostitution was rife

The 70s when I grew up were very sexist and racist compared to now.

Not such good old days!!