Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
5madthings · 01/02/2013 15:16

I am busy making sure my children stay safe at the supermarket and that they don't get in anyone else's way. My children are my responsibility and yes I am careful with the trolley and look where I am going but if a toddler comes running round a corner and crashes into my trolley that is their parents fault for not keeping them safe.

Accidents happen and whilst I take care I am not responsible for the safety of someone else's child because they won't keep them safe themselves!

My children have all walked from a young age but I still keep them out if peoples way and keep them safe.

Move the scenario toddler running along in a footpath and trips up an elderly person or a car reverses out of a driveway. People can be careful but accidents can still happen and they are more likely to happen if you let your toddler run off.

NaturalBaby · 01/02/2013 15:19

Well, I don't agree that toddlers should be wandering around a supermarket if the mother is at the other end...but I just find the horror expressed by some posters that a small child is allowed to wander a few feet away is a bit over the top.

atthewelles · 01/02/2013 15:22

I haven't seen anyone express 'horror'. Irritation, annoyance and disapproval yes, but not horror. The OP asked a question and the majority of posters on here have explained why they don't think she was reasonable in her view.

landofsoapandglory · 01/02/2013 15:25

I have committed the MN sin of not reading the whole thread too! I can not see how any child who was at the top of an aisle, when their parent was at the bottom is under control TBH.

I hate saying 'I am disabled' but I am, I walk with sticks, I have severe SPD and my back and pelvis are held together with plates, screws and pins. Some days it is all I can bear to wear a soft pair of leggings, if a toddler came running up the aisle of a supermarket and head butted me in my pelvis I would be in agony and quite cross.

I don't venture into shops very often but when I do I look out for trolleys, people with baskets, small children with parents, mobility scooters, people in wheelchairs, buggies, toddlers on reins or holding hands and shop workers with crates, not toddlers having free rein.

Toddlers don't need to be roaming free in a shop, yes they need to learn so put them on reins, or have one of those back pack things and keep them close to you whilst they learn.

5madthings · 01/02/2013 15:28

But its not area feet away its the other end of an aisle unless this was a very small shop the aisles are longer than a few feet?

coraltoes · 01/02/2013 15:34

Goldenbear you clearly think far too highly of your parenting to realise your kids should not impact negatively on other people, nor should you, nor your pets etc. if someone goes out for a shop at waitrose and my dd ploughs into her on a scooter, it is not right to say the shopper should just avoid the store. She is there to do what the store was designed for: buy food. My dd ought to scoot at the park, where nobody would be surprised to encounter her.

Liver I tell you, fucking liver to all the self entitled prattish parents too.

coraltoes · 01/02/2013 15:37

Anyway I shop online to avoid these sorts of things...people have forgotten to respect boundaries of others

NaturalBaby · 01/02/2013 16:43

The child was in the middle of the aisle, the mother was at the end. How big are your supermarkets?! If he was getting in the way and being a nuisance then any sensible mother would move him/carry him/put him in the trolley.
Toddlers on the rampage are hardly the biggest anti social activity that we have to deal with these days.

Sirzy · 01/02/2013 16:48

the aisles in my supermarket are certainly a size whereby a child half an aisle away could not be easily grabbed before getting in someone elses way. I would suggest you must have a very small supermarket!

NaturalBaby · 01/02/2013 17:21

Either that or I move faster than your average mum. I've had plenty of practice with 3 under 3's and 2 runners. They've done plenty of toddling round supermarkets and never had a collision with anyone or any trolleys.

crashdoll · 01/02/2013 17:32

I've only skimmed the thread but why would you want to take that risk that your child may get smacked with a trolley? That's not mentioning the possibility of the child causing accidents.

BettyandDon · 01/02/2013 17:38

Well I think your toddler has every right to waddle in a supermarket. He is a member of society like everyone else. I am sick of seeing near 5 year olds in buggies and the like. Its ridiculous. People should expect to see preschool children in the shops with their mothers and adjust accordingly.

A supermarket can be a great experience for a toddler. Loads of fun and learning opportunities. They shouldn't be strapped in and zipped in and out as if it is not an appropriate environment. Yes they may hit a trolley or be hit, but accidents happen at the park too. And yes, the mum should have them in view / quick grab at all times...

Maybe more supermarkets should have those cars that kids can sit in and drive around (common in shopping centres).

I guess it's the old 'seen and not heard' argument with regards kids in restaurants etc. I think kids should be everywhere barring smelly old pubs!

Sirzy · 01/02/2013 17:42

what is the difference between a child being pushed around in a car and them being in a pram or trolley?

crashdoll · 01/02/2013 17:44

I am sick of seeing near 5 year olds in buggies and the like.

I am sick of people judging when they know very little about it. Those children could have SN/health issues.

Floggingmolly · 01/02/2013 17:50

Maybe more supermarkets should have those cars that kids can sit in and drive around. Hmm. Was there a full moon last night?

manicbmc · 01/02/2013 17:52

Not the old 'seen and not heard' phrase, just because people don't want the inconvenience of other people's children when they are doing their shopping. Fgs.

It is dangerous to let a child that small be that far away in a shop. Yes fine to let them toddle about (in reins or holding hands) but not fine to let them roam.

I had to avoid several young kids tearing up and down the aisles on Wednesday.

Pandemoniaa · 01/02/2013 17:56

If you want to avoid children with scooters I wouldn't go to Waitrose.

Fair enough. We'll go without shopping if it means that your child can use Waitrose as a playground. How unreasonable of people not to realise that this simple solution is available, eh?

manicbmc · 01/02/2013 17:58

Scooters in supermarkets are a massive bugbear of mine. Scooters are for outdoor play in appropriate areas.

RightsaidFreud · 01/02/2013 17:58

If your silly enough to let you child run/toddle around the supermarket unsupervised and they bash/knock into my trolley and start crying, don't expect me to apologize.

Goldenbear · 01/02/2013 19:05

It was a fucking joke- jeez!

coral, you do sound like you need to let go, loosen up a bit, you seem to have a 1950s attitude to go with your 1950s food tastes!

I didn't say scoot around as they please!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 02/02/2013 10:54

I once saw a child riding their bike (she was about 9 so virtually adult bike size) round tescos. I thought that was a bit excessive ........

ducks from flying buns

NaturalBaby · 02/02/2013 15:12

'people don't want the inconvenience of other people's children when they are doing their shopping.' I don't want the inconvenience of grumpy old women when I do my shopping. Haven't got much choice in the matter though do we?

'It is dangerous to let a child that small be that far away in a shop'. Dangerous? Dangerous?!? Wandering unsupervised down the side of a busy road is dangerous, wandering a few feet away in a supermarket is not.

FairyHanny · 03/02/2013 12:38

.recall But letting such a small child walk around without holding their hand is lazy parenting. Actually no, it's downright irresponsible.

Midlifecrisisarefun · 03/02/2013 13:34

I have committed the offence of not reading whole thread. Blush
I would have no problem as long as I then don't see a thread like 'I shouted at lady in spupermarket because she knocked over my DC with her trolley'
As long as OP realises the safety of her DC is HER responsibility not other shoppers then its her choice.
I ofen am thinking of more thing at once when shopping and wouldn't be looking at knee/thigh level for unattended children.

PrettyKitty1986 · 03/02/2013 13:44

You shouldn't have to dodge your trolley around free running toddlers just because the parent is too busy/lazy/whatever to actually...parent. YABU op. Half an aisle of distance between parent and young toddler is dangerous, both for the toddler and other shoppers.

Swipe left for the next trending thread