Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 16mo old walk around sainsburys with me?

282 replies

Ozfrazror · 31/01/2013 13:17

Only needed 2 things and ds recently loves walking everywhere so thought he'd enjoy wandering about with me in the veg aisle. He was indeed overjoyed at getting freedom from the trolley, but by the horrified looks more than one person gave me you'd have thought I was giving him knives to carry around!

Even though he was at the top of the aisle while I was in the middle at one point, of course I had a constant eye on him. However one particular older lady just kept looking between him and me with an obvious disapproval. So WIBU?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 03/02/2013 14:38

I was in Sainsbury's yesterday and was approached by a lovely young man doing a customer satisfaction survey. I asked him what the biggest complaint was, and he said "children not being controlled by their parents". After that the store got busier and a toddler almost ran head first into my trolley - I managed to swing it away just in time. Where was his mother? Halfway up the aisle unable to get to him after he'd bolted.

soverylucky · 03/02/2013 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicbmc · 03/02/2013 14:46

NaturalBaby, why does not wanting to be running into other people's small children make me grumpy? Just because I expect people to be doing their shopping in a shop and looking after their own kids? Odd Hmm

It is dangerous. There are huge trolleys with food on being rolled around to be put on shelves. And there are other people with trolleys who might not see other people's precious bundles wandering about and bash into them.

Why does not fawning over other people's kids make me a grumpy old woman?

There is a time and a place for most things and I don't think the supermarket is the place to let small children roam about.

fuzzpig · 03/02/2013 15:25

Walking next to you on reins or holding hands, in a quiet shop, fine.
Wandering half an aisle away at that age is not fine IMO.

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 16:51

No one's asking other people to admire their toddlers- I'm not looking for affirmation of my toddler's cuteness when I visit supermarkets. Believe it or not I'm a very busy person aswell and need to get my shopping done quickly, I don't have time to pander to other customers grumpiness and intolerance. Children and small people have as much right to walk in public as adults that are normal height. If we are discussing a toddler and not a small adult, as long as an awareness of safety exists, I don't see the problem.

Sirzy · 03/02/2013 16:52

But letting a child go off out of arms reach isn't showing an awareness of safety!

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 16:54

The grumpiness is attributed to people who just cannot tolerate any kind of person or lifestyle that is not their own choice. It is nothing to do with admiration of toddlers IMO.

manicbmc · 03/02/2013 16:56

But a 16 month old baby won't have that kind of awareness.

I'm not asking anyone to pander to me. I'm asking that people use a bit of common sense when they are in a busy place and keep their children with them.

Yes children have as much right to walk in public - the key word there being WALK. Not run about.

manicbmc · 03/02/2013 16:56

Or ride on a bloody scooter

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 16:57

What in a supermarket aisle? I think if you are off average fitness, you're going to be faster than a toddler, which makes it safe.

crashdoll · 03/02/2013 16:59

The grumpiness is attributed to people who just cannot tolerate any kind of person or lifestyle that is not their own choice.

Letting your baby wander halfway down a supermarket is a lifestyle choice?

I like toddlers. I think they are hilarious and cute little people. I don't want to accidently ram one with my shopping trolley because they are completely out of my line of sight. I wouldn't push a big trolley of food in a playground, so I would not expect toddlers running free in a supermarket.

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 16:59

Who said run? I still think their is no difference in pulling a child around on a scooter and pushing a buggy- you have the same control over the situation.

Sirzy · 03/02/2013 16:59

Which would mean running/speed walking in a supermarket - and you think that is safe?

Its simple, let your child walk but keep them next to you either by holding hands or using a backpack or similar.

supermarkets are not playgrounds, children don't need freedom in them.

manicbmc · 03/02/2013 17:00

You stand comparing kumquats, or whatever, toddler is already half an aisle away. You are distracted for seconds, look up and toddler is off. Could be in any direction.

What's so wrong about teaching a small child to hold your hand and stay close anyway?

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 17:01

It is definitely a different understanding of child rearing Crashdoll. However, I was making a broader point about certain kind of people that are intolerant!

crashdoll · 03/02/2013 17:03

Even if they don't run but they walk, I still cannot see them if I am pushing a trolley! I genuinely do not want to ram a small human being with my trolley. It's for their safety!

crashdoll · 03/02/2013 17:04

I'm happy for you to label me as 'a certain kind of person' who does not want to cause harm to a child in Tesco. If that makes me intolerant, then so be it.

manicbmc · 03/02/2013 17:04

I may have given the impression that I am a 'tutter'. I am not. I have nothing against small kids in supermarkets.

I do believe that some parents, the ones lacking in sense, seem to think that everyone in the world should be looking out for their kids, instead of them doing some parenting and doing it themselves.

Sirzy · 03/02/2013 17:06

Exactly manic

ilovesooty · 03/02/2013 17:07

You stand comparing kumquats, or whatever, toddler is already half an aisle away. You are distracted for seconds, look up and toddler is off. Could be in any direction

Exactly - which is what happened on my supermarket visit on Saturday. While that mother's little person was exploring the world he was lucky not to be badly hurt. It all boils down to the fact that toddlers don't have an adult level of awareness of safety and in some environments, like supermarkets, it's appropriate to keep them under control.

ilovesooty · 03/02/2013 17:08

crashdoll I don't spend my time peering around below knee level while pushing a trolley either.

Goldenbear · 03/02/2013 17:09

I don't personally think any such thing!

MysteriousHamster · 03/02/2013 18:48

There's a lot of fuss in this thread.

I online shop when possible - but it's not always possible and sometimes we take my 2.5 year old DS.

He always starts off sat down, whether bribed with books/toys/food or just willing to sit down for once. After a while he starts whinging to get out and I will judge how busy it is and then I'll let him out if doing so will cause people less convenience than the sound of him yelling to get out.

I stay by him but he does occasionally try to get ahead of me. If he's doing this and it seems dangerous I just pick him up. But generally it's under control.

If I let him get so far ahead he could bolt into a trolley then yes it would be my fault. But I do think shoppers should be able to generally see what's going on around them. Can you guess a toddler is about to bolt out at the end of an aisle? No. But if you can see one toddling in the middle distance and you just ignore that, then you're responsible too.

Shopping is a fact of life, people with little kids have to do it too. Toddlers can be a pain, but so can adults who don't look where they're going. Don't really see what all the fuss is about.

NaturalBaby · 03/02/2013 20:38

Is it really so hard to believe that it is possible for a toddler to wander a bit, and that if they wander to far or start getting in the way then the mother will intervene? I've managed to get through nearly 5 years of parenting 3dc's without a supermarket incident of the type some posters are obsessing about. Are trolley's crashing into wayward toddlers really that common an occurence? Really??
Maybe I'm lucky to have got this far without tutting, grumpy old ladies ramming their trolleys into my dc's because they are further than arms reach from me.

Are the mothers of toddlers on this thread really the type to let their toddlers run screaming up and down the aisles? Nobody agrees that is acceptable.

Next time my toddler wants to toddle in the supermarket I shall go armed with chocolates, flowers and gin to pacify potential grumpies.

blondefriend · 03/02/2013 21:22

At what stage/age should children be allowed to wander off and make mistakes? My dd (4) is allowed to go to the end of the next aisle to get bananas (or whatever it is I've sent her to get). She's been doing that for years (2?) and I am now slowly getting my ds(2) to do the same (1 or 2 items per shop and then back in trolley). Sitting in the trolley is boring and they end up having tantrums. At the checkout they load items onto the belt and pack bags at the other end. I keep them occupied with jobs but occasionally they do take off and I have to fetch them back. I would never expect someone else to do it for me but surely that is what parenting is about - allowing them to make small mistakes and showing them what the boundaries are.

BTW neither of them have been hit by a trolley - although if they were I would probably just tell them it was their own fault for not standing back and allowing the other person to pass like a polite child should do.