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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

415 replies

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 14:45

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:58

Sorry if i'm coming across rude pain in the arse

I'm not good with numbers and this whole situation is giving me a headache.

OP posts:
cory · 26/01/2013 15:58

If one of your friends drops out, it will still cost you £450. So no reason why she should pay in the first place. Hmm

EuphemiaLennox · 26/01/2013 16:01

Err, in that scenario OP I'd suggest you pay 1/4 for you DDs bed space and a contribution for sleeping on the sofa. Hmm do that then.

Next ridiculous scenario please....

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/01/2013 16:01

If there is space on the sofa - can I come as well?

And not pay anything?

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:01

No, Khall.

They will probably be drinking heavily and being noisy from the word go. And they will definitely not offer to help with dd. I'd much rather a week of peace and quiet, but the cost would cripple me without them.

It's like we'll be on separate holidays, but sharing somewhere to sleep. Occasionally we'll have dinner together.

OP posts:
Squitten · 26/01/2013 16:01

YABU

It should be organised by room. Two bedrooms means you halve the cost. It's not their fault that you are sharing with someone who can't pay her own way.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 16:01

I don't think you are rude. I do wonder why you bothered asking though. I also feel a bit bad for you, like you don't seem to pick up the great bollocking sign that your friends are actually really pissed off with you.

Are you generally rubbish at picking up on social cues ?

Shakirasma · 26/01/2013 16:02

Why have you asked if YABU when you have already firmly decided you are not.

You arguments and scenarios are entering to realms of ridiculous pedantry in an attempt to defend your point of view.

Ultimately it doesn't matter that 90% of us think YABU, it does matter though that your friends think you are. If you really want to keep them then you need to stop being defensive and start listening!

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 16:03

I'd much rather a week of peace and quiet, but the cost would cripple me without them.

This is very telling.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:03

No, anyfucker, i know my friends are a bit peed off about it. Which is why i posted. because i felt i had a point.

OP posts:
KhallDrogo · 26/01/2013 16:03

I think this holiday is going to be a disaster for all of you. I don't think you should go Sad

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:04

They are telling you they are not happy.
LISTEN to them.

OddBoots · 26/01/2013 16:04

I do think in your shoes I would forgo the holiday and save the money to go somewhere quiet with just you and dd next year. It all sounds rather stressful which isn't good for a holiday.

Cortana · 26/01/2013 16:04

So basically they're doing you a favour? They want a holiday or drinking and being noisy, you cannot afford to go on holiday alone with your DD so they let you share accom with them?

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:05

When they suggested coming with us and splitting the cost, i automatically assumed they meant thirds each. I got a quote, and got really happy me and dd could get away. The money i was saving would pay our train fayre to get there.

But then they announced they expected me to pay half. I said this throws a spanner in the works and it would really limit mine and dd's spending money/food money.

They then reluctantly said they'd go thirds to shut me up.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 26/01/2013 16:06

It would cost the same if they didn't go with you too.

Pay your half.

I think they are very generous in sharing a holiday with someone with a child anyway.

YABU!

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:07

Seems to me that you are convinced you are right and nothing will persuade you to see things from their pov and what you are actually looking for are arguments to use with them that backup your pov.

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/01/2013 16:07

Which Haven is it? You haven't responded to my request to come and stay on the sofa for free. I am quite quiet.

Kalisi · 26/01/2013 16:07

Sounds like you have some very understanding friends then. I'd stop taking the piss out of them.

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:07

No, Cortana. I suggested the holiday and said it would be a struggle. Then they suggested we go away together instead, splitting the cost.

They're all going on their own holiday (spain) a few weeks in August. This Haven hol won't be their main one.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 26/01/2013 16:08

So you know your friends are peeved off yet persist with your freeloading?

I would be reconsidering my friendship in this situation tbh.

AnyFucker · 26/01/2013 16:08

OP, listen to me love

Your friends have talked about this between themselves, without you there. They have asked each other if either is ok with your arrangement. Neither of them is...with such strength that they have taken what is actually a rather difficult step of telling you about it to your face.

And after that they have (your words) "reluctantly gone along with it" but made it clear (again...a hard thing to do with longstanding friends) they are peed off with you

yes you

not the caravan park pricing policy... you

you won't get invited again

I called someone's sister a freeloader upthread. I don't know if that is what your friends are thinking about you...but would it be ok by you if they are ?

Cortana · 26/01/2013 16:09

So they are doing you a favour? By coming and subsidising your costs?

Original poster
WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 16:12

Okay, i can see why people think i'm being U.

The reason i'm not saying 'i'm unreasonable', is because i don't think a lot of you understand my side of the argument.

If i was childless, and had a friend coming on hol with a child, i would ONLY expect her to pay extra if the child made the holiday more expensive.

If it was the same price whether or not the child was there, i'd just go halfs with my friend.

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 16:12

Gosh.
Let's go on holiday. Its so expensive. It would be a real struggle for me.
Ok, we're going on our main holiday in august, but lets go away together for a week in a kids holiday park and we'll split the cost
Great, itll be x, I'll pay a third
Hang on, we want you to pay half. You're 2 out of four people going
I think my daughter shouldnt count and you should pay two thirds and me just a third.

Wow.