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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think i shouldn't have to pay HALF of the holiday, just because i have a child?

415 replies

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 14:45

My two friends suggested we should go on a caravan holiday this summer with my 5yo dd (neither of my two friends have children).

We've decided on a self-catering Haven holiday and the total price is approx £450 for the week, including funworks passes etc. Only additional costs would be for food and transport, which we'd pay our own way on when we get there.

Anyway, my friends are expecting me to pay half - so £225 - rather than a third - £150.

They say it's because dd will count towards the price too.

I've just checked how much it would be for me and dd to go alone - on the exact same holiday - and it's still £450 - the same price.

The price is based on size and type of caravan, not how many people are in the group. And since the smallest caravan is 2 bedrooms, it's the same price.

(Hope this is making sense).

Anyway, i'm a bit peed off they expect me to pay £225 and they can just pay £112 each. They've reluctantly agreed to go thirds instead (£150) each, but have said it's just to shut me up, they're not happy about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
EuphemiaLennox · 26/01/2013 15:11

Ladtmargolotta they expect parents to pay for the child as the rest of that post states.

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:12

Yes, electric, gas etc is all free (included in the total price of £450 i presume).

It's a double room and a twin with two single beds. We've agreed they can have the double room if they want, and dd and i will share the twin room. But this won't affect their reasoning on the price each should pay.

I'm okay with the idea of paying half for dd (so £200 all in), which i'll suggest to them. But i still think it should be thirds.

Kids are given discounts everywhere for age - theatre tickets, park tickets, bus fayre, train fayre, so why are they counting her as an adult share in the total price of the holiday?

OP posts:
Mutt · 26/01/2013 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2013 15:13

Because its by room!!!!!!

mynameisnowsonicthehedgehog · 26/01/2013 15:13

YANBU - If you DD wasn't going, you would still have to pay £450, meaning £150 each so what difference does it make, it's not as if your child could stand her share!

If my friends were being this tight then frankly I wouldn't want to go with them.

PickledInAPearTree · 26/01/2013 15:13

I would expect to pay half and pay half.

If you want to continue going on holiday with them at some point you are going to have to start paying for dd.

I would think 2 rooms too to be honest.

I can see their point.

lustybusty · 26/01/2013 15:14

I think it would depend.

  1. if your daughter didnt go, and A.N Other adult went instead, you have to pay for her 1/4. (as if another adult went, they would pay 1/4 of the costs)
  2. if it was only ever intended to be the three of you, you each pay 1/3 (assuming your daughter will essentially doing the same as you)
  3. if you are making "special" plans, for all of you, based on your daughter's requests, you pay her 1/4.
basically, I think what I mean is, in my opinion, if your daughter being there/not being there makes no difference, you don't pay extra for her. If it restricts/changes/affects the holiday for the others in any way, she is treated as an extra person and you have to pay for her. Does that make sense?
letseatgrandma · 26/01/2013 15:14

Will you be paying 50% of food bills?

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:16

Food bills/drinks/transport - we have always paid our own way at restaurants in my group of friends. I.e. no one pays for others' meals etc.

So i will pay for mine and dd's stuff, they will pay for theirs individually.

OP posts:
wanderingcloud · 26/01/2013 15:16

I'm shocked by the majority of responses as I'm with the OP. I'd be expecting to share the cost between adults. Our family have always done it this way for summer hols. I'd have thought it was normal until the time the kiddies reach an age where they need their own room therefore increasing the overall cost. I assume OP would be sharing a double bed with DD that otherwise would only have 1 adult in it?

OddBoots · 26/01/2013 15:16

How much would you expect to pay if only one of your friends were going?

If someone else decided to come along and sleep on the sofa would you want it to be free for them as it wouldn't cost any more for the caravan?

HappyMummyOfOne · 26/01/2013 15:17

If you feel so strongly that children shouldnt have to pay then book your own caravan on the same site. Somehow i doubt you would do that though.

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:17

No - the funworks passes don't affect the price, Hyva.

That's why i'm saying it would be £450 whether dd was there or not. They're not paying her pass at all.

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 26/01/2013 15:18

If you wre to take your DD on holiday without your friends you would have to pay £450.

By sharing the caravan with friends you are cutting the cost of you and your DD's holiday down to £225.

Why should they share your family holiday caravan, get 1 bedroom to themselves, just the same as you and DD, but have to pay for half of your bedroom too??

OddBoots · 26/01/2013 15:19

If you were going without dd and one of your friends had a partner they wanted to bring how much would the two of them pay?

Kalisi · 26/01/2013 15:20

Even by your last reasoning OP, you should at least pay half for dd! I'm not sure how you can come to the conclusion that it should be thirds. That's not expecting a discount, that's expecting free which is ridiculous!

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:21

No, my dd won't be restricting their holiday in any way.

Me and dd do our own thing during the day, while they do their's.

Then we go out to dinner together and go to the night shows. They still get a drink and have a laugh. They're not responsible for dd at all. If dd gets tired, i take her home and they stay doing what they want.

OP posts:
oldebaglady · 26/01/2013 15:24

"I don't understand why i should have to pay half though. If dd wasn't going, it would still be the same price,"

and if you were the only one going it would be the same price, and you'ld have to pay 100%.. so what? 4 people going, 1/4 of the price each!

a bottle of wine costs the same whether one perosn drinks it or it's shared by 4 people, but if it's shared by 4 people the cost per person is 1/4 what it is if you have it to yourself!

I would even go so far as to say that someone else's child has more of an impact on shared space on holiday than another adult would!

Don't go though, not if you're already having "kitty ishooos!"! it won't be fun!

GilmoursPillow · 26/01/2013 15:24

Kids are given discounts everywhere for age

That's for the operators to discount, not your friends.

takeonboard · 26/01/2013 15:24

surely if its 2 bed the price is per room - so £225 per room with 2 people in each room thats £112.50 per person.
I am not sure why you would expect your friends to pay for your DD's bed while they have to share a bed?

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:24

If dd wasn't coming, and it was a 4th adult instead, i'd say a quarter each.

But i don't feel this is applicable to my situation - 3 adults and one child. I don't believe a child should be expected to pay the same amount as an adult.

If i say dd and i will squish onto the couch instead to sleep (hypothetically), should i not have to pay a penny?

OP posts:
oldebaglady · 26/01/2013 15:26

"If dd gets tired, i take her home and they stay doing what they want."

what if what they want is to carry on drinking and setting the world to right in the caravan?.. they can't do that! honestly it's totally deluded to think that sharing a caravan with a child has no impact on adults on holiday - seriously don't go! you're not on their wavelength at all already! It'll be horrible all round!

WhistlingNun · 26/01/2013 15:28

They can't do that anyway, olde, as it's against the park's policy. Again, whether or not my dd's there.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 26/01/2013 15:30

When a friend and I went on holiday, she with her two DDs and me with one DD, we used to split the cost half and half, which was fine if the three of them slept in one room, and the two of us the other, but when her eldest started bringing a friend along, so we had to book 3 bedroom cottages, she still only paid half She was and is my dear friend, so I let it go, but it did used to niggle at me.

Agree with oldebaglady your mates have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.......

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/01/2013 15:30

Just get over it and pay the damn money. Or don't go.

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