To be bewildered by folk who claim that motherhood has made it impossible to go to the loo alone? Why?

[Snog]

What ridiculous nonsense is this?
Just
go
to the loo
alone

I posted earlier but what I had forgotten that both of mine came in with me in a sling for their first few weeks, it's only once they were a little older that they played in their cot, at first with the door open so I could chat/sing with them then once they were secure in the concept that I would be back in a minute I closed the door. I can't recall either of them being upset about it.

I didn't take my PFB to the loo with me, but I think that might be because I was a very inexperienced parent.
I only had a couple of books by Sheila Kitzinger and Penelope Leach to guide me and the internet didn't exist, nor did I have a computer.
So I didn't know I was supposed to, and it never occurred to me as my mother had never peed with an audience.
But I'm OK with others feeling they have to, it's not my business.

THIS THREAD is why I love mumsnet. That is all

The old-fashioned playpens had their uses....at least you knew they were safe for a few minutes. Never seem to see them now.

all toddlers are different why does anyone care if mine runs in the bathroom?

No more than others as above it would seem :) they start off as clingy screaming monsters, and gradually learn independence with our help. Surely that's parenting, not just ignoring and self congratulating when the baby couldn't care less.

I'm now responding to my child. I don't know what any other needs, apart from.my own. I know what my child needs now, and I respond to it. Without criticizing another MNer for it.

No.. Sorry.. It annoys me too. And I understand that we are all different, have different parenting styles/events in our lives.

My DC are 8 & 6, yet rarely do I step out of the shower without someone else being on the loo. If you shut the door - privacy. Door open...well it's open season! However, I don't moan about it.

I gave my sil some beautiful bath oil as a gift for her birthday after she had her 1st child. She looked at it, and said 'like I will ever get a chance to use THAT.'
Her DS was 8mths by then & she has a quite capable DH.

Rude and unreasonable (in my opinion )

Exactly, some people have partners who use the toilet whilst they are in the bath. I hate the idea, but what harm if it doesn't bother them?
And all the mums that complain about the relentless company, I'm not sure how many of them would really want an end to it deep down. Not until the child is at least school age, I know reception have had problems with children sharing cubicles!

I use the bath after DS is in bed.

Is this seriously a thing? I would quite like children, but why can't I have a crap in peace? I am as sure as I can be that I didn't join my mother when she was on the throne. I am not damaged or emotionally stunted. When did martyr smother get normal?

Exactly! That is a reasonable thing to do!

Scheherazade I salute you, I'm really glad that you've recovered and share unconditional love with your ds. Obviously I don't know you but I'm guessing that your experience has made you a stronger person, don't mean to sound patronising but your story really is inspirational.

alconleigh it is a thing. Whether it bothers you or not is another thing. If you want to poo alone - put your toddler somewhere safe & off you pop. If you are happy with a bit of company then all the better. Win win.

Its not martyr smother, why would I leave a baby who would cry to the point of committing within minutes when I can simply take him with me?!he is now a very happy, independent 13 yr old so it certainly did not smother him.

"When did martyr smother get normal"

martyr smother?

It's only a toddler running in the bog.

I have this problem with the cats. one bangs on the door when I shut it. Very strange.

I'm with you OP, but then a baby grizzling/crying for a couple of minutes never bothered me and I don't actually think it harms them for a couple of minutes. People do seem to be very worried about their children crying in general, quite often crying is just the baby's way saying 'Oi where did you go?' not ' OMG I am bereft without you and I need a life time's therapy to get over it!'

But we toilet alone, surely to god? What did all our 70s mothers do? Cos it wasn't having us in there. But we're not all in therapy. Are we?

You haven't met my DS, valium.

What is "cry to the point of committing"!!!??
If your baby did this unless you let him pull off your specs and destroy them would you just go with it? And have your specs trashed?
Nobody indulges their child's every whim as one of you has to be an adult in the relationship.
Not taking your kid to the loo isn't child abuse
I don't care what you do as long as you don't moan about this like a helpless martyr

Oh monster my cat too!

She scratches at the door if its closed. If its open she will come and watch me. She waits for me to get out of the shower and licks the water of my feet. Freak!

Crying to the point of vommiting autocorrect. And so no I didn't leave him. As I said he is now 13 and a very independent teen.

Some babies can be left, ds2 would play happily under the baby gym, ds3 was fussy, needed to be held and jiggled. Ds4 very chilled and would lie/sit happily and be left. Did varied.

A baby whining, whinging, crying a little is one thing but I won't leave them if properly crying or as in ds1's case he would get to the point of vommiting within a minute.

We only have the 1 bathroom....mornings are busy.
Our next place will have 2 loos.

Dd varied, not did... Need to disable bloody auto correct on nexus!