To be bewildered by folk who claim that motherhood has made it impossible to go to the loo alone? Why?

[Snog]

What ridiculous nonsense is this?
Just
go
to the loo
alone

Those with older kids I bet you've forgotten how intense babies and toddlers are.

Hell, I've forgotten what newborns are like almost and it was only a year ago.

My DCs aren't the problem. It's my frigging over-needy cat. He has to accompany me every where I go. I've just gone back to work after maternity leave (where I was his constant companion for a whole year), now when I am at home it's like he has velcroed himself to my legs. I was reading this thread, nipped to the loo, and guess who followed me? Yup, the cat

Ds empties all the drawers and rubs my legs with an emery board a d occasionally wobbles my thighs laughs and says jelly jelly.

FFS scottishmummy, did you not read the rest of scheherezade' s post? NoT the time to argue over parenting style.

Scheherezade, it sounds like you're doing fabulously now and making up for the time you missed.

I had no idea that people actually went to the toilet with an audience! My DS1 is 30 months and DS2 is 20 weeks. I do not have a problem in going to the toilet on my own.

Maybe I'm just boring, neither son bothers if I leave the room.

I don't think anybody said it was desirable, it's clearly not. A happily, independent child is a goal for most people, but if your child is born clingy then you have to deal with it. I think independence comes with increasing confidence and age or some are just born content.

I like that he views me as safety, then uses me as anchor to explore. He is v. Confident and once happy in a room is eager to explore.

I studied developmental psych, this is normal behaviour.

I will not allow any ignorant, jealous, small minded outsider make me jealous for what is finally a happy, loving, wonderful time. He loves me, he's happy. The professionals are more than happy. He's no longer written in notes as "an unhappy child". I love him. I moan in jest but I love how much he loves me. We cuddle constantly, my life is incredible. I'll be MIL from hell. Whatever, my child is more important than snobby, jealous, cold bullshit from some anonymous name on an internet forum.

Well said strawberry

And that's the difference girl outnumbered...yours don't mind if you leave the room, others do.

It's not a huge deal for me, toddlers all have their little foibles.

So.... He old are these children who cry when mum leaves the room, just out of interest?

Breastfed while having a shit? umm that would be never, and I bf three of them.
They can actually be left alone for a few minutes and still grow up as rounded and loving children.

I have bfed on the loo and read a story to a toddler at the same time. Sometimes I get to go to the toilet on my own, sometimes not. It doesn't bother me particularly and I think its generally moaned about in a jokey way.

Dome children can't be left to cry for even 60seconds, ds1 would cry to the point of vommiting in 60 seconds so no I wouldn't leave him to cry.

My children are all very independent, they got their naturally and I think having a secure attachment when they were babies/toddlers actually helped that.

Mine is 2.6, honestly, him coming into the loo with me is the least of our problems!

Thank you Soloman. I was in hospital q long, long time. I can't describe how incredible it feels to know how much he loves me still, after everything. I'm in tears now thinking of it. I was physically restrained for attacking nurses, legally forbidden from being alone near my son. If he.wants to cry for a few minutes he has every right.

I love him more than any cell of my body could fight for. He's my world. He's a clingy, needy, PITA. But I secretly love that he is. He still loves me, that's all I need

Mu DS turned 16mo, yesterday.

Girl my 12-18 month old would be inconsolable if I left the room. Utterly distraught. She grew out of it by about 2.

I did go to the loo sometimes on my own but I wasn't /am not that bothered so wouldn't have cluttered up the house with a playpen just to avoid the companion in the loo.

scheherezade I'm sorry to hear what you want through. Enjoy every minute of your son, that's your right.

Yep, DS just turned 2. He enjoys rearranging the shampoo bottles as I wee. It's great. I love it. He sings to me :)

feeling loved and attached is the aim,we all hopefully seek that
but we As parents need to explore positive risk taking
essentially we all test boundaries knowing they're loved when they bounce back

I feel a kind of passive aggressive vibe from you OP! Why does it annoy you that mothers often mention that they cannot get to pee in peace?

Is it because it implies that staying home looking after toddlers is not always a bed of roses, and that SAH mums sometimes actually do have stuff to deal with that is not enjoyable?

I know people who are determined to maintain their view that SAH mums are useless and lazy and do as they please all day long without a care in the world. Such people will not admit that a complaint like not being able to use the bathroom in peace has any validity, because then they would have to admit that their view of SAH mums might actually be wrong!

Being home all day with babies can be mind-numbingly boring and filled with little gripes like this, and also wonderful and delightful at times. Just as going out to work can be tedious and thankless, and at other times rewarding.

And yes, of course, anyone can lock the door and be physically alone whilst using the loo. But you cannot necessarily be MENTALLY alone.

For the first, say, 40 seconds, a small person may bang relentlessly on the door. Then all goes quiet. Then you hear an unusual thud. Then you call "are you ok out there?". Then there is silence. Then you reach up from your seated position to unlock the door and peer out. And either some little trickster comes barging in and you are no longer alone, or there is no sign of anyone and you finish hastily and
head off to assess the damage!!!!

In short, OP, yes, YABU. When in sole charge of one or more little ones, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE......

As, that brought a tear to my eye too! Mine is 19 months and I feel much the same about him. Watching him run towards me, arms out, shouting 'mummy hug' is the most incredible thing. It took us a long time to have a child and I feel so lucky. It's great you've been able to get back to that feeling after having such a tough time.

DS is 15 months. When he was tiny, he used to need physical contact all if the time, now he just likes to know where I am and be able to see me. He is gaining independence, it will just take time.

Scheherazade what an awful trial you have endured. I cannot imagine how awful it's been for you but glad you are together again.

mine does that schedezade

and put on deodorant