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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bewildered by folk who claim that motherhood has made it impossible to go to the loo alone? Why?

302 replies

Snog · 25/01/2013 19:32

What ridiculous nonsense is this?
Just
go
to the loo
alone

OP posts:
BambieO · 26/01/2013 09:04

I have to agree with snog Blush

I think it's choice rather than necessity no matter how other posters dress it up saying their baby cries. All babies cry, it doesn't harm them for a short time it takes to go to the bathroom.

I understand posters who don't mind and don't moan but I was told 'you literally cannot do anything when you have a baby' I was quite anxious about this. I was delighted when I found that not to be the case.

I think good for you on the people who close to have their children in the toilet and also good for you on those who don't. It really is each to their own.

I think there are others on here besides snog as some posters are implying, who are trying to over justify their decision with tales of woe and hardship and 'ill do what's right for my baby'.

Snog wasn't saying not to do what's right for your baby she was merely pointing out a true fact that it's not impossible to go alone so why do people moan? (Besides the people moaning in jest!)

Some people seriously believe they physically cannot go alone and their poor dc will spontaneously combust if they are away going to the toilet for even one minute. This is definitely choice and either way as long as you and your children are happy who cares!

Just don't moan when you can change it if you don't like it!

BambieO · 26/01/2013 09:05

*choose not close Blush

MrsWolowitzerables · 26/01/2013 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 26/01/2013 09:49

"Are you saying I'm not allowed to hold him while I go to the loo?"

You actually sit on the toilet with your baby in your arms!!! Shock

Well I've heard it all now. Does your baby never sleep during the day?

I must admit that I had no idea that going to the loo was such a spectator sport. I used to put DD into her cot or playpen and when she was older it wasn't a problem to leave her in front of the TV for a couple of minutes.

I guess I was lucky that she didn't have a problem with me going. She probably did come in with me once or twice, but as she is now 12 I can't really remember. When out in public I always brought her in with me as I didn't feel comfortable leaving her to wander around public toilets on her own.

madlibscientist · 26/01/2013 09:52

I never thought it was a huge deal if mine followed me into the loo...I suppose I just figured it was the norm, and I never minded. I have always been one of those people who goes with the door open if it's only me or my little family around, anyway. DCs are 6 and 5 now, and rarely come in, even with the door open.
It's the showering I could never understand...I always had a shower, even with newborns. Surely if you have a DP, watching babies while the mum showers is what they exist for? Grin

Bunbaker · 26/01/2013 10:09

"It's the showering I could never understand"

Same here. I always bathed or showered in the evening when DD was asleep.

HeyJo · 26/01/2013 10:52

Bunbaker - You haven't heard it all. I once vomited into the toilet whilst holding my baby when I had the norovirus. (tmi?!)

Bunbaker · 26/01/2013 10:55

OK. You win

thebitchdoctor · 26/01/2013 11:18

I let my DD (18 months) follow me if she wants (she doesnt always) and we discuss what I'm doing at the time. She think it's funny and I think normalising the trip to the bathroom will help when we come to potty training her.

nickelbabe · 26/01/2013 11:26

I shower in the morning when I get up.

If DD is still asleep, i shower alone.
if DD is awake, she is grumpy and crotchetty, so I carry her into the bathroom and sit her on the floor with food while i shower.
she can see me and i can shower. no biggy.

GirlOutNumbered · 26/01/2013 11:29

I have two kids. 2.5 years and 20 weeks. I have never not showered in the morning. Ds1 plays with toys or iPad while ds2 sits in his chair. Ds2 may fuss a bit, but he's okay.

It's part of their routine now, so they just fete used to it.

RooneyMara · 26/01/2013 11:34

Bambie, yes, but the crucial point you're missing is that I don't moan about it.

I might joke about it with other people in a similar situation but I haven't moaned about it.

So really, what is the problem?

RooneyMara · 26/01/2013 11:36

'You actually sit on the toilet with your baby in your arms!!!

Well I've heard it all now. Does your baby never sleep during the day?'

Oh yes occasionally. Very occasionally. And your point is? That I should go to the loo only when he is asleep - not when I actually need to?

Okay... or is your point that I have a substandard baby? Or I'm lying about how often he sleeps?

RooneyMara · 26/01/2013 11:38

I admit I will have trouble if and when I next try and have a shower or bath.

It'll have to take no more than about 3 minutes. I did have one bath holding ds but it's quite tricky when you have to get out, and also the water has to be cold.

That's a moan. At least on the loo you can hold them. I would kill for a nice long hot bath.

Bunbaker · 26/01/2013 11:43

"I would kill for a nice long hot bath"

When DD was tiny and cluster feeding all evening I missed my baths a lot so you have my sympathy. Is there anyone else who can look after your baby at weekends so that you can enjoy a bath?

If your baby needs to be held all the time why don't you get a sling?

SolomanDaisy · 26/01/2013 11:46

BambieO, it's a choice in the sense that not everyone agrees that it doesn't hurt babies to cry.

RooneyMara you could try showering with the baby. My DS never liked it, but lots of people I know did it!

Summerblaze · 26/01/2013 11:46

Do you seriously never put your baby down...Rooneymara. When they are 3 weeks old they are asleep loads...no?

SolomanDaisy · 26/01/2013 11:50

Lots of 3 week olds only sleep when held, that's pretty normal! I am amazed that people don't seem to recognise that babies are all different and people also have different views on ways to treat them.

ceeveebee · 26/01/2013 11:52

This thread is a revaluation to me. It would never even occur to me to take a baby into the shower or toilet. Especially not when they can't even move yet! I wonder - are "Velcro" babies born that way or is it down to parenting?

Bunbaker · 26/01/2013 11:52

I remember holding DD a lot at 3 weeks, but I used to pop her in the pram when she slept. It was easier because it was summer so I could go out with the pram and the movement used to send her to sleep. Not easy at the moment with 6 inches of snow outside.

GirlOutNumbered · 26/01/2013 11:53

I don't think that's normal?! Is it? My two slept in there cots, as that's where I kept putting them.

MrsDeVere · 26/01/2013 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDeVere · 26/01/2013 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RooneyMara · 26/01/2013 11:56

Thanks for the suggestions. There's no one else to take him, I'm a single parent. I will wait till he's a bit older, it'll pass and I'll get my bath Smile

I'd be scared of holding him in the shower, in case I slipped and also I can't imagine how you'd get washed while holding a baby? Or wash your hair?

Bunbaker, I have got a sling - three in fact, he's in one now, but often when he is really unhappy he refuses to go in it without screaming - so sometimes it is a wondrous help, sometimes no help at all!

Thanks though. He does seem to sleep in the pram sometimes, cries a lot in the car, well it's early days.

Summerblaze, this baby doesn't sleep much. My last one did. They're not all the same you know!

RooneyMara · 26/01/2013 11:58

Ceeveebee - he's been like this since he was born, always looked worried when I put him down, I'm wondering if he might have reflux issues or something...my last barely cried till he was about 6 months old. Very contented.

I'm wondering what you think I might have done in terms of parenting to turn him this way in 3 weeks and 2 days!!! Smile

MrsDV - Grin at gorgeous babies!