to think that having 8 DC by 3 different fathers may well have a detrimental impact on the DCs?

[StuckForAUserName]

Especially as the first two fathers are not in the picture anymore so the 3rd husband is bringing up someone else's 6 DC and then a further 2 have been added to the household .

The mother is effectively a single parent anyway as the latest DH is away a lot in the military. The oldest 3 are in boarding school though so there is only 5 DC full time at home. This is a middle class family btw not a family of 'benefit scroungers'. The mother states that 'her kids have a decent dad and will all be fine'. AIBU in thinking that it's terrible?

I suppose this is unusual, but I know of a woman who has 5 children all by different men. At the weekends ALL 5 go to stay with their dads, and she loves having a single life every weekend and the kids are all happy and well adjusted.

The issue isn't who has who's blood really

Not true. Blood is very important to people. Or else there would be less IVF and more adoption.

I bet she does love the single life every weekend, are you really so blinkered?

She has 5 children with 5 fathers and loves the single life every weekend, can you tell my in what life situation that this women would not be a slapper?

Who introduces new partners lightly?

Who goes from one dysfunctional relationship to another?

Your generalising

Moomin,

The mother that has multiple fathers to multiple children.

The mother that has multiple fathers to multiple children.

Could one be any lighter, I'm glad to clear that up for you.

Next,

I thought this was Am I being unreasonable, not feckless parents unite.

Don't judge, just support.

Is it shocking to have sex with 3 different men over a lifetime ?

So, why the shock expressed in the phrase "by three different fathers" ?

What is that you are encouragin me to support?

Jesus Christ,

You are comparing having sex with 3 partners to having 3 children to 3 fathers,
I rest my case, as feckless as they come.

"As feckless as they come"

< polishes new crown for next MN Royalty thread >

Hilary you are just firing off responses, many of which don't even make the least bit of sense. Perhaps a little more thought and a little less typing.

What about situations where the first partner dies?

You don't know if that's true of all mothers, you are generalising.

I'm sorry that your relationship was dysfunctional and you were hurt but that's not the case for everyone.

VinegarTits 'i think the op only mentioned the middle class thing to avoid the 'well i hope they are supportng all those children themselves and not letting the state pay for them' posts'. Thank you!

Sorry but I still do not agree.

Most of the 'my DC are thriving with a new father and half siblings and really don't care at all' posts have come from posters that are in that situation and IME the psychological problems this can create (especially in DC that do not see their fathers) show up in teenage/adulthood. The 'my new DH loves my DC as his own' posts are wishful thinking as well. Denials that favouritism does not exist are probably bollocks as well. I know that the 2 youngest DC of my aunt do lots of activities that the older one's did not get a chance to do and have attentive grandparents that the older ones do not have either!

Of course full bio families have problems as well but I can't understand why a woman would go from one relationship to another popping out more babies especially after DV (which DCs probably witnessed) when the DCs would surely find it very hard to trust another man. Just awful and selfish IMO.

Maybe because they're still hoping for some companionship, love, and support in their life ? If they still have hope after going through bad experiences then good on them !

Rhonda,

Could you be any more pompous,

This thread is yet to mention a first partner dying.

Moomin,

I have not stated that it is true of all mothers.

I am quite sure that it is not the case for everyone, again I have not stated this and you presume that this was my situation.

do you know what made ME a single parent - my HUSBAND shagging somebody else and leaving me when our baby was 7mths old

my friends are single parents because their selfish bastard partners died - of cancer and a car crash

stop being so fucking judgy of single parents - my kids are fine - they are happy, healthy and well behaved - that is all that matters

we single parents get enough bashing thanks - walk a mile in our shoes :)

Juggling,

I agree, I want the same, who doesn't but selfishly pursuing love and happiness without thorough consideration of a child's needs is at the very least iressponsible.

Gordy,

I was made a single parent after my own cancer diagnosis.

You still think I am being 'fucking judgy'.

Yes of course I could be more pompous...only because You asked so nicely.

You will note my post asked about a partner dying. This came BEFORE your response.

That means the thread has already referenced a first partner dying.

So anyway what about the bereaved, are they allowed to procreate again, is it only those who made a mistake in a previous relationship who have to have their ovaries removed?

and without getting into arguments over who has been through the worst,

try walking a mile in my shoes dear.

I think comments here about how awful the future lives of the children of lone parents are going to be are fucking judgy yes - i don't think I mentioned YOUR name specifically though

oh dear it's turning into top trumps - I was simply stating that most lone parents don't want/plan or wish to be - lets not turn it into a misery comp.