To wonder why so many women are in denial about misogyny?

[seeker]

What do they get out of insisting that men are subject to exactly the same level of discrimination and abuse as women? That Mary Beard, for example, would have been treated in the same way if she had been a man?

I just don't get it.

"I think this is less about denial and more about what is important to each individual."

Tbf this thread is specifically about people denying misogyny exists. Not just not noticing it. I mean if someone says, "I haven't noticed it" and then gets given an example. Someone who just didn't prioritise it might say, "I hadn't noticed". Someone who denies it exists will, despite evidence to the contrary, deny it.

Just read the whole thread. My impression of it was that there was a tag team of people with agendas who posted, one after another, in disagreement with the vast majority of other posters.

I found the thread interesting apart from that. It was a shame about the derailing.

Why are so many women in denial about misogyny?

Because it hurts to think that people you know, in your own family might think of you as somehow lesser. I am black and sometimes it feels easier to deal with racism because it won't come from from those close to me, friends and family, but from far away. I don't have to generally live with, eat with people or take care of people that look down on my race.

When a work colleague or family member makes a comment, there is a stab of real pain that despite knowing my abilities, etc that they can still see me as lesser; it feels much more personal. Obviously this is my subjective experience but comparing two experiences of 'isms' I have experienced. The discrimination at work felt so much more humiliating and bitter than the random bloke shouting racist words at me because I had known and socialised with my colleagues so many years. I think that the cognitive dissonance is necessary otherwise you would have weep with the enormity of it all.

Then the myths start, if I dress appropriately, don't get too drunk, when every one actually knows that you have as much as chance of stopping rape that way as a rain dance ritual.

That was a really thought-provoking post, fusam, thank you.

Since when did more than one person disagreeing with a particular poster constitute a tag team, btw? That happens all the time on AIBU, and naturally there are several responses once somebody starts to lose their rag and flings accusations around. It hardly follows that there has been some concerted pile-on .

Sometimes it seems easier to just give up or pretend everything is okay.

I haven't read the whole 30 pages but what happened to Mary Beard just makes me want to cry. This is a huge problem in our society. When I look at just my immediate family, my mother was raped in her teens, me and one of my sisters were sexually abused from childhood through to teens, my other sister was not but was severely verbally abused by my mother for not meeting my mothers idea of beauty. My mother called me and other sister "whores" and tried to pin the blame on us for being abused, we were told that men couldn't control themselves and we had to cover ourselves up in massive clothes or we would look "sexual". Neither me or my sisters have degrees and we all did less well than expected in our exams at school. My two brothers grew up in the same abusive household but it wasn't as bad for them, they were encouraged to get careers and praised for their achievments, they both went to university, both got firsts, are both highly successful. The reason for my mother being abusive to her daughters? She hates women. Why? Because according to her women are "tarts" and its because of them that some men think all women are "like that" and so it is women's fault she was raped. Even some women hate women.
This idea that men don't have responsibilty over their own actions is ridiculous and needs to change. How often do we hear "men don't see mess" - excuse for not doing housework. "Men can't multi-task" - excuse for not doing childcare.
I'm not really sure of the point I was trying to make and apologise if my post doesn't make much sense, it's a subject that is difficult for me to write about. Throughout my teens I endured sexual assault and abuse from boys at my school even, I was locked in a house with a man for 24hrs, I have been followed by a stranger who threatened to "put his dick in me", I have had my appearance commented on from cars, vans, people walking past. My older brother is considered very good looking and he has had none of this, he gets attention but just being asked for his number and that sort of thing. People who deny there's a problem really piss me off!

PPP, you make perfect sense to me

Virtual hugs PiratePetesPotty if you want them

Somebody that follows up a post like PPP made with a comment like that, must have had a sensitivity gene deletion at birth

or a frontal lobotomy

lovely

reported

also reported

So as a male, I post my own tale of years of abuse, I will be questioned and not believed yet I have read thirty pages of misandric victimhood and it's all we believe you. I am not an abuser but a victim of abuse yet to point out how rife female on male abuse is within society and the distinct lack of support there is, well forgive me for not believing all I read on a less than reliable but far too influencial internet forum

Hilary I'm aware that it's personal anecdotes but that's my experience of life. I think that my life experience isn't as uncommon as some people like to think. My view is obviously going to be coloured by my past experience but what from what I can tell, many men hate women, many women hate women and many women hate themselves. Too many. To the extent that my mother would blame women for her being raped rather than the man that did it. Something's wrong there.

Reprted, Jesus, as if one would actually give a flying fuck. School play ground mentality what?

HC, post your own thread, you will get support

Rubbishing other's recounting of their own abuse makes you an abuser

Did you realise that ?

Did you want to do that ? What did you expect ? Us all to go "fuck off, PPP, we would rather listen to HC, that one is more important"

It don't work like that

I do not disagree Pirate, in fact I know and feel what you are describing. What I cannot bear is the man hating themes of the majority of thread on this site.