To wonder why so many women are in denial about misogyny?

[seeker]

What do they get out of insisting that men are subject to exactly the same level of discrimination and abuse as women? That Mary Beard, for example, would have been treated in the same way if she had been a man?

I just don't get it.

At least LRD didn't call you a big fat noonoo head, that happened once to me 15 years ago.

At least I didn't call you a stinking great wallop-bucket, that happened last month in Germany. Tragic.

Yeah, I've been rude to you. I generally am to people who are rude. At least I've had a bit of a sense of humour about it instead of crying about how distressed I am.

Earwicga? Someone, please tell

She was going to report Mumsnet to the police for transphobia.

'At least I've had a bit of a sense of humour about it instead of crying about how distressed I am.'

Such sisterly empathy. Is it still misogyny if it's a feminist that's lacking in it?

SF, why are you still banging on about something that happened a year ago ?

I don't understand what your problem is

I really, really don't. I've tried to, honestly I have. But I am completely perplexed.

SF, whether you have "read it in a blog" or on a carpark toilet wall, you slagged off the way feminists raise their children

You

Yes, you

You did it first, and you do it all over Mumsnet. All the time.

Your "distress" at being "ganged up on" is inexplicable. Did you think those comments you made would go unremarked upon ?

Yeah, sorry, I don't have much empathy with ba'heids of either gender. Being a woman doesn't give you special dispensation to go wailing about perceived slights.

I am really perplexed as well, AF. For someone that hates feminists, she really seems to be able to stick us for long periods.

It wasn't Earwicga. Can't remember who it was, she was a lawyer. A poster said she had mental issues, and she went berserk and announced she was a lawyer and would see the poster in court.

And what has that to do with the price of fish?

Not meaning to have a go, Sigmund, but just want to point out that you seem to be the perfect example of a "woman in denial about mysogyny" as put in the OP! I guess it would be a boring thread if we were all in agreement here!
However, the point (as I see it anyway) is NOT that this is a bunch of feminists ranting about how much we hate men and maledom (and I am a mother of two sons too, BTW) it´s about mysogyny in society and last I checked, "society" includes women too....or so we would LOVE to believe!
There´s no need to get all offended and defend the poor men. The fact that someone is a feminist does NOOOTTT mean we are all out to subjugate, humiliate and hurt men. It´s about fairness. Why is that so hard to see and understand?? Do you not EVER feel this inequality? I find it unbelievable that ANY woman can go through life without experiencing sexism, etc

I did not single out anybody. It's just poor form.

What is your definition of being ganged up on then AF? If my definition was wrong.

Ganged up on is when a load of people deliberately jump on you, specifically having got together to do so.

It is not when a load of people disagree with you.

SF, no, you do worse.

You "single out" feminists who happen to be on the thread and make big fat fucking generalisations about them

Your comments about them "not saying the stuff they say to your face" is laughable. Because all these women you keep denigrating time and time again are good people, good women, good mothers. They don't want to see you having a ridiculous meltdown. I have met some of them. You would like them. They would be sweet to your sons. They would be polite to your husband. They would find common ground with you and chat pleasantly.

I don't know where you get your anger from. It's very unsettling to think of you out there thinking that every time a feminist criticises bad male behaviour they are metaphorically punching your tiny sons in the face. I don't understand your logic.

Women are often in denial about misogyny because it's easier to cope. That's what denial is for.

When that denial starts to become eroded, women often feel anger. That anger is usually directed inwards, downwards or across. Directing it upwards, to those with more social, political and economic power - eg, class men - is scary. They could make things worse if we complain!

So, women turn on each other. 'Twas ever thus.

Ganging up is bullying behaviour. All these people disagree with you. That is all. There is some irritation because you inferred that feminists are damaging their sons. There is frustration because you do it time and time with no foundation whatsoever.

They haven't sworn at you or called you a cow. You did that. And you owe LRD an apology, btw.

Hey thanks, ArmyofP´s...that´s a very interesting point as I struggle a lot with why it is that women constantly turn on each other (ahem) instead of concentrating their efforts on combining forces to unite against the problem....you may well be onto something there....let me just copy and paste that one! [bwink]

And this thread was meant to be about misogyny, but instead it's about one person and how she feels and what she thinks and how she's construed things and how she's been ganged up on.

It gets boring. It happens on every feminist thread ever.

I am not in denial about it but wish I knew how to raise my DS to eradicate some of his casual misogyny

This week DD hit someone (long story but she sort of had reason as much as you ever would). DS and XH are horrified by this due to the fact she is a girl nothing to do with the punch. They are being quite vile to her about it.

Last week DS told me about a mate in a fight at school who he described as a "legend"

I asked him last night why DD is an embarrassing thug but his mate is a legend

He told me thats just how things are , girls dont do things like that etc etc

XH is an utter misogynist and it saddens me that somehow his views are making more of an impression on DS than mine. DS really thought I was being absurd in questioning the double standard

YANBU.

I don't get it myself.

Yes, some feminists do raise their sons wrongly. This is because "feminist" is not a synonym for "clone", or some kind of vaccine against poor parenting. Similarly, the fact one feminist went beserk towards another indicates nothing other than one human individual behaving that way.

You need to stop seeing people in terms of labels, tbh. You wouldn't think a Welsh murderer was representing the Welsh, I take it? What's the difference?

And if you post controversial views and a lot of people disagree with you, that's a consequence, not bullying. Bullying does happen in all social groupings at times. It's not happening towards you. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from response.

Coming, how old is your DS?

I like SF's posts and think she writes a lot of sense.

Not everyone disagrees with her.