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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why so many women are in denial about misogyny?

806 replies

seeker · 22/01/2013 21:31

What do they get out of insisting that men are subject to exactly the same level of discrimination and abuse as women? That Mary Beard, for example, would have been treated in the same way if she had been a man?

I just don't get it.

OP posts:

AbigailAdams · 23/01/2013 11:55

Yes, basically, delboys. Because my typo wasn't the main person we were talking about.

"I'm not suggesting the women are doing anything wrong, but that if nobody tells them being treated like that is wrong, they accept it, thereby men get away with it. They pick on young innocents because they know they'll get away with it." So the men's behaviour is what is at fault, but we should educate the victims? Leave the men to behave as they like. They can get away with it because society backs them up, not because individual women don't object.

ShamyFarrahCooper · 23/01/2013 11:55

and I believe the etymology is something like 'of the womb'.

perfectstorm · 23/01/2013 11:56

I've not encountered you on MN before, actually. Though I'll be sure to avoid you in future. I don't like associating with misogynists, you see. We all have our own little foibles.

FreudiansSlipper · 23/01/2013 11:57

Del are you going to ignore my question what are these made issues feminists make up that do not exist? I am interested in what you think they are

AbigailAdams · 23/01/2013 11:58

Of course hysterical is sexist. Really, do we have to explain everything in words of no more than one syllable? And I am not hysterical. I am angry that women are subjected to this shit and people insist on denying their experience.

ShamyFarrahCooper · 23/01/2013 11:58

Here you go Delboy, here is a handy checklist on male privilege

www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/

TroublesomeEx · 23/01/2013 11:59

Actually anonymous hysterical is a sexist term. It's root is from the Greek meaning "of the womb", the same as hysterectomy.

It used to be considered that it was the womb, the very essence of woman-ness that meant women were unstable. So yes, hysterical is a very sexist word and one that is not applied to men. Them not having wombs and all that.

perfectstorm · 23/01/2013 11:59

Freudian, you're wasting your time. He's just said he's worked in the sex industry.

Let's move on.

TroublesomeEx · 23/01/2013 11:59

Mm, I see I was a bit late to the hysteria party!

fattybum · 23/01/2013 12:01

Fgs. I wish someone had educated me that the behavior I experienced was wrong. If I knew, I would have spoken up an these men would think twice in future. I'm not saying therefore men don't have to learn. It can come from different angles, it's not black and white.

Original poster

seeker · 23/01/2013 12:02

Just as a matter of interest, delboy- and obviously, there is no reason at all why you shouldn't be- why are you posting on this site? Do you have a particular political agenda? And if so, what is it? I'm happy to declare mine- I am an old fashioned 70s feminist who feels that women are in severe danger of losing much of the ground we gained over the years because we either think the battles are all fought and won, or because we are too scared of offending or because some of us feel we have more to gain by siding with the "patriarchy". (Please note ironic quotation marks"

OP posts:

FreudiansSlipper · 23/01/2013 12:03

yes just read that

do not remember seeing his posts before larry always pops up on any sex workers related threads

delboysfileofax · 23/01/2013 12:04

So because I worked at a strip club im a misogynist? What would you prefer, should I have signed on? Personally I would prefer to support my family then refuse a job because it might upset a political self interest group

perfectstorm · 23/01/2013 12:04

Yeah, larry I remember. This one is new to me.

I really, really wish MN had an ignore button sometimes.

ShamyFarrahCooper · 23/01/2013 12:06

Women are a political self interest group? There was me thinking we were half the world's population, not a political party.

And actually yes, instead you supported the trafficking & oppression of women.

(And now here comes the 'they all enjoy it' argument to derail us further)

delboysfileofax · 23/01/2013 12:08

seeker- was a reader of this site for ages as am father of young child and theres lots of parenting advice on here. Also because my partner read this quite a lot and in the main it agrees with my politics. I have deliberately kept off the feminist boards, mainly because I'm male and also the feminist movement is in no way open to being challenged at all- as proved in this thread.

AbigailAdams · 23/01/2013 12:08

I appreciate what you are saying fattybum, that women need to know this is wrong and I agree. But I think it is much more important to tackle the behaviour of the men because then women wouldn't need to be taught that it is wrong. They would know, because it would be rare and not normalised.

I also don't think that individual women objecting would make them think twice. Maybe for a few days but ultimately they get approval from their peers and from society that behaving like this is OK. So why change? This has to become unnacceptable behaviour, from an early age that isn't endorsed by parents, siblings, teachers, boss at work, judges in court, politicians etc etc etc

FreudiansSlipper · 23/01/2013 12:08

it's empowering for them don't you know

I am going to listen to Mary Beard on catch up later

delboysfileofax · 23/01/2013 12:09

no but feminism is a political self interest group. Trafficked women? at a strip club? Sorry to burst your bubble but they werent.

ShamyFarrahCooper · 23/01/2013 12:12

no but feminism is a political self interest group.

No it's not. Do you even understand the basic principles of feminism?

Did I miss the launch of the World Feminism Party, ready to launch their assault and remove the world president from power?

JustAHolyFool · 23/01/2013 12:13

I wish David Cameron would shut up. I am going to shove my fanny in his mouth so he can't talk any more.

That Nick Clegg is such an ugly minger. You'd have to be drunk to have sex with him and as such he shouldn't be in parliament.

You shouldn't have ugly old bastards like David Attenborough on telly, it makes me feel physically sick.

Just an average selection of statements from the internet, really normal stuff, isn't it.

ShamyFarrahCooper · 23/01/2013 12:13

Trafficked women? at a strip club? Sorry to burst your bubble but they werent.

And the thread train is off the tracks.

perfectstorm · 23/01/2013 12:15

Did I miss the launch of the World Feminism Party, ready to launch their assault and remove the world president from power?

Well, there are worryingly few men in parliament - and how many men are heads of state? And almost all the FTSE 100 companies are headed by women. You have to admit, it's an issue.

JustAHolyFool · 23/01/2013 12:17

As to why women are blind to misogyny...I don't know. I know that none of the women I work with are in any way bothered by it, or even notice it.

I think part of it is that we are all so wrapped up in our selves and our own worth that we think the shit that men come out with about other women isn't being applied to us. So when they say "she is such a slag" they don't think they're also being judged.

Also I think feminism has a bad image, it's not very "cool" and people think it's anti-fun. Because porn and rape and stripping and all that jazz is fun.

delboysfileofax · 23/01/2013 12:17

who first mentioned trafficking shamy? me or you? so if anyone derailed the thread, who was it?

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