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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

252 replies

Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:36

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

OP posts:
iamwhaticallpregnant · 21/01/2013 05:39

I am 36 weeks pregnant and have been fairly brave/normal throughout but now my belly is so large and noticeable and you feel so clumsy already - and very vulnerable and have worried about every tiny thing that could go wrong all the way through - the idea of slipping over terrifies me so i have stayed out of the snow - which is very unlike me. I dont want to risk anything!

Kafri · 21/01/2013 05:43

It's up to her how cautious she needs/wants to be. I was a pain in the neck when I was pregnant last year as I had tried for years for my DS and ended up with IVF. There was no way I was risking any damage. It may have been unlikely, but I'd never have forgiven myself id something had happened that i could have avoided.

On top of that, it may be the case that a fall is 'unlikely' to harm baby but, I'm on mat leave now and things are tight money wise. I'd be really up the creek with out a paddle had I fallen on ice and broken a bone. Id have been unable to work and I HAD to work as late as I could to put money away to be off on mat leave.

DizzyZebra · 21/01/2013 05:54

I cannot be doing with people like that. Its a bit of snow.

Do watch out for inconsiderate arseholes who wash their car in freezing temperatures, and don't sweep the water away, and then watches from the window as a pregnant lady goes down like a sack of shit and repeatedly fallsas she tries to get up.

Baby was fine but it cut my ankle open. Twat. I still give his house daggers if I pass.

LtEveDallas · 21/01/2013 06:16

Not pregnant, but I hate walking on snow, so much it's almost a phobia.

A few years ago I had a fall on snow covered ice. I was wearing good boots etc, but went down like a sack of spuds. I broke my ankle in 6 places and my hand in 3. I was in hospital for 8 days, in casts for 8 weeks, had to have 4 operations and 2 years of physio before they finally gave up and told me that unfortunately the pain was for life, and would probably get worse.

Because of the way I now walk my knee, hip and back are affected. I'm expecting to walk with a stick by the time I'm 50, and maybe worse later on.

Can't imagine going through all of that pregnant or with a newborn.

Logically I know it doesn't mean it will happen again, but the thought terrifies me. I avoid as much as I can and tend to walk on grass covered verges only rather than supposedly cleared pavements/roads.

Spare a thought for us wusses Smile

jessjessjess · 21/01/2013 09:23

It's easy to slip in snow and ice. Yabvu.

ICBINEG · 21/01/2013 09:29

My Dsis slipped in snow and ended up having to have the baby early due to maternal bleeding. Poor little baby was stuck in intensive care over xmas getting all his blood replaced due to immune reaction to his mothers blood.

So YABU.

justalilmummy · 21/01/2013 09:30

I'm only 10 weeks and I know a fall will not cause a mc but it wouldn't stop me panicking like a mad women if I was to slip

spg1983 · 21/01/2013 09:32

Oh....I feel a bit silly now. Couldn't get out of the house on Weds to get to midwife appointment so I walked 5 miles there and back. I really enjoyed it...

spg1983 · 21/01/2013 09:32

Forgot to say, I'm 35 weeks.

thesnootyfox · 21/01/2013 09:39

I fell in both pregnancies in the snow. Had to go to hospital and have scans not very pleasant.

The other day I was walking to school to pick up ds1 and was pushing ds2 in the pushchair. The pavements are horrendous so I was walking in the road. I slipped and let go of the pushchair which went flying down the hill and crashed into a parked car, thank God for the parked car!

YABU. Yes it's only snow but icy conditions can cause accidents.

elderberryspokes · 21/01/2013 09:39

YABU! She is your colleague and presumably you don't know if she has perhaps had a miscarriage before? I have, and although I love the snow, I was nervous walking 15 mins down to the shop this morning to get milk. As previous posters have said, your colleague's DH is possibly being protective for a very private reason.

Thewhingingdefective · 21/01/2013 09:40

YABU. I was terrified to walk in snow or on icy, slippery paths when pg with twins after IVF. It was a risk I didn't want to take.

MulledWineandScully · 21/01/2013 09:41

I'm 17 weeks and I wish I could stay put! On Friday I found myself trekking up to the CM pushing DD in a buggy through a foot of snow, didn't have much option. My bosses are very Hmm about me working from home so I don't do it unless the site is closed (as it was on Friday). But actually it's the aftermath that is more dangerous, with the ice etc. I fell a few years back (not pg) and injured my back and my pride.

I don't really mind the walking so much - I have sensible walking boots. It's the driving on ice that bothers me.

I think YABU though - it doesn't harm you if your friend gets taxis everywhere, I wouldn't have thought.

12ylnon · 21/01/2013 09:42

Yabu. It's hard walking on snow and ice- much more so than regular walking. I'm 22 weeks and a very active walker, but I'm avoiding walking in the snow after an incident on Friday where I had picked ds up from school in the snow (20 mins each way normally, took us about 35 mins each way in the snow) and then stupidly decided to take him to the park too. I got to the end of our road on the way home and nearly passed out, I'd just walked too far. Thank god a neighbour was walking past and got me and ds home safely, but I dread to think what would have happened if I'd passed out in the snow.
Safety of the baby comes first IMO, it's a mums responsibility to look after it so she should do what she thinks is best.

NotSoNervous · 21/01/2013 09:45

YABU, just think if she fall and something happened to her baby she would blame herself forever. When your pregnant you worry about every little thing and I personally wouldn't walk on the snow either just not worth taking that chance

PenelopeChipShop · 21/01/2013 09:49

It's up to her. But I must say I 'm wondering if I ought to feel guilty now that I went to Moscow in February when 20 weeks pg... Needless to say it was extremely snowy and icy! Didn't occur to me that I shouldn't have gone there let alone not left my house in a bit of snow. I only really worried about falling when I was big which wasn't til right at the end.

CommanderShepard · 21/01/2013 09:51

Stupid question alert: what's the issue with rhesus neg status other than needing anti-d injections? Why's it a problem if you fall?

(Am B+ so this never came up for me!)

elizaregina · 21/01/2013 09:58

yabu

I think it depends what persepective you are coming at it from. For me I have so many friends who have not had an easy time of it getting pregnant including myself - I had to wait five long years - you are not going to want to risk any injury at all when it finally happens.

No you may not MC but it depends how you fall - also you dont really want any broken bones either which also may occur.

MurderOfGoths · 21/01/2013 10:02

Commander If the baby has Rhesus Positive blood and the mother has Rhesus Negative, then a fall can mean an injury that then means that the blood mixes. And if that's the case, then the mother's body will likely try and produce antibodies that will attack the baby's blood.

So if you have a fall, depending on severity, it can mean you need an anti-D injection to stop that happening.

sheeplikessleep · 21/01/2013 10:11

I'm only 9 weeks pregnant with DC3 and walked DS1 (and DS2) to school this morning. I had no other option.

We walked very slowly, but I hated it as I kept slipping underfoot (DS2 fell over) and I felt very vulnerable, particularly holding hands with DSs (5 and 2). DH and I ended up arguing before he left for work, all because I was quite stressed about venturing out, when the pavements are like ice.

YABU OP - until you're actually in the position (and as others have said, you don't really know their 'back story' to getting pregnant), you don't know how you'd feel.

And does it really matter?

I'll be going out again at 3 today, but again we'll be taking it slow and steady. If I had any other option or DH was around, I'd have asked him to collect. If there are alternatives, then why not?

RainboxFX · 21/01/2013 10:19

For what it's worth, no one except DH and Boss knows I am 11 weeks pregnant and have been signed off work since 8 weeks with bleeding. I am also rhesus neg so needing regular Anti D injections. This is a pregnancy after a premature labour and neo natal death, so we are both terrified at the best of times. Weeks of bleeding have left me terrified to move or sneeze and I had to lie pretty creatively to get out of sledging with a friend and her lovely children. The isolating, horrifying thing is that no one knows. You really have no idea what anyone elses pregnancy is like unless you are living it.

On the other hand, other people's pregnancies are dull so YANBU to be fed up of hearing about it!

PenelopePipPop · 21/01/2013 10:20

YABU - it isn't just the risk of mc, but also that pregnancy distorts womens own sense of proprioception so they are more at risk of falling than non-pregnant people, sometimes dangerously.

I fell very badly when 4m pregnant with DD, fractured my skull in two places, suffered significant subdural bleeding as a result and now have epilepsy. It is controlled with meds thankfully, but only on such high doses of two teratogenic drugs that my DH and I have had to decide we cannot have any further children.

So if she can avoid going out on the snow, and wants to be risk averse for fucks sake leave her alone. Her life, her baby, none of your business.

milf90 · 21/01/2013 10:25

I think yabu, I fell iver at 6 weeks pregnant. Whilst its very unlikely that any harm can come to te baby, it was worrying, especially because I had had a lot of bleeding in my pregnancy.

I also fell over last week an fractured my coccyx and man it hurts!

milf90 · 21/01/2013 10:32

Rainbowfx, why are you having anti d if u don't mind me asking? You don't have anti d until after 12 weeks because the placenta doesn't take over until this point. (I used to work as a midwife and I'm rhesus neg)

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 10:40

You don't usually have anti-D until after 12 weeks because the foetal blood cells don't develop the D antigen until that point, so even if foetal blood cells leaked into the mother's blood stream, there would be nothing for the mother to make antibodies to.