To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

[Catsnotrats]

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

[Jinsei]

I fell on the ice when pregnant (albeit much further gone than your friend) and although it didn't do the baby any damage, it frightened the life out of me, especially as I'd miscarried previously. I wouldn't go out in the ice if I were pregnant again. YABU.

[ratbagcatbag]

I think in the early weeks you can get something called placenta abrupt ion, which is if you get a hard knock, sudden bump etc, the placenta can separate from the womb causing a miscarriage. I'm 30 weeks and ventured to a big out of town shopping centre because I knew everywhere would e gritted, but my boss has text me again today saying if snow comes as expected tonight, if I feel it's to slippy then work from home.

[LittleChimneyDroppings]

It's taken her a while to conceive

Well this will certainly be one reasons why. You sound like a rubbish friend. Why don't you call your friend over and get her to give her opinion in your online debate about her.

[LadyMargolotta]

'It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far'

The thing is, some people are very private, and you really don't know for certain that there have been no problems.

I don't really understand why you are irritated - she is still coming to work, she isn't bothering anyone for a lift? She's just getting a taxi.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Blimey ChimneyDroppings if only 'good friends' who didn't judge or ever say anything contentious or anonymously mention RL people were allowed to post here... MN would be relegated to internet obscurity. Earlier in the thread OP said that this has helped her understand - and provided a place to vent.

[loveschocolate]

At 38 weeks pregnant this week I've continued to walk to work rather than risk taking the car down ungritted country roads. The fresh snow is fine - will be more concerned when it gets compacted and icy. Sensible footwear and common sense is all that's required. (yes, I'm rh neg, have mild SPD and have previously broken my arm in a fall)

[LittleChimneyDroppings]

Yeah you're right Lying. I did think that after I posted it. Ok I take that bit back, but only that bit

[tiredemma]

She is was 30 weeks.

[lljkk]

Folk in North America drive everywhere, she wouldn't have to go further than the heated garage if she lived there.

FWIW, I think she sounds precious & it would make me go too. but I'm not sure OP should care so much. Doesn't sound like OP has been inconvenienced in any way.

I fell off my bike on the ice when about 40 weeks pregnant. Absolutely no harm done at all.

[WantsToBeFree]

YABU.

I think it's entirely reasonable for a pregnant woman to want to avoid falling and injuring herself, much more so than it would be for the rest of us.
A serious fall can even result in a miscarriage and it's understandable to want to be cautious.

I think our society nowadays is too casual towards pregnancy and pregnant women and this whole culture of "pregnancy is normal and natural" is doing more harm than good. Yes, it's normal and no she isn't sick, but FGS it is a condition that requires extra care. She's making and carrying a person FFS.

[DolomitesDonkey]

We had a foot when I was pregnant with my first. I wore 5" stilettos as I felt nothing dug in the ice as well as them.

I'm hardcore though and have little patience for precious.

[Catchingmockingbirds]

It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far.

Many of our friends think we've just taken a while to conceive too, but actually we had 2 mc in that time but didn't want to tell everyone. Only a few people know.

[Cakethrow]

It's not really any of your business.
How do you know he's 'banned' her and she's 'going along with it'? (If he has then that's a separate issue entirely)

FWIW I fell at 33 weeks pregnant and broke my coccyx. It was absolute agony.
I couldn't take any pain relief (well I could but only paracetamol) and 2 1/2 months later it still hurts.
I had SPD as well so was in agony for the last few weeks of being pregnant.
If she wants to be cautious, that's up to her.

[Pinkflipflop]

YANBU to think whatever you like, YABU to even dream of saying anything out loud!

It's NONE of your business!

[MamaBear17]

It may seem ridiculous, but having been pregnant with a desperately wanted baby I can understand why they are so cautious. Being pregnant is such a worry anyway, and you cant just look through a window pane in your tummy and check the baby is okay, so instead you spend your time worrying about pretty much everything. During the first 12 weeks I went to the bathroom at least 10 times a day, and only some of those times were because I needed to pee. The rest of the time I was checking my knickers to make sure I wasn't bleeding. I have no reason to think that I was, I was just anxious and scared.

[BanghamTheDirtyScone]

I hate it when people who have never been pregnant criticise those who are for their decisions.

You should just blooming try it.

Fwiw I had a horrible pregnancy and was in masses of pain during the last trimester. It was awful and I could do very little.
Hardly anyone knew how much pain I was in - they probably, like you, all just assumed I was a useless incompetent who was too precious to walk anywhere.

Trouble is I didn't go around advertising the fact I was struggling. I stayed cheerful and tried to avoid the subject as I didn't want to seem like a moaner.

Maybe I should have been more dramatic about it.

[BanghamTheDirtyScone]

Oh and when I rarely did walk anywhere, on the school run for example, and someone decided to walk home with me/the kids, they always went at a normal pace and I kept up with them, despite it being really, really painful and crippling me afterwards for a day or two, because I didn't want them to judge me for being slow and pathetic.

After all it's pregnancy not an illness

[oldebaglady]

I hate when people who have been pregnant criticise those who are

just cause you climbed a mountain at 39 weeks/didn't need pain relief doesn't make you hard core/less pfb! it just means you were lucky enough to have a pregnancy that allowed that. You might even have had two easy pregnancies - still just luck

I've had one of each and trust me it's nothing to do with Positive Mental Attitude or being prescious or any of that bollocks! With one I was wiped out if I went for a gentle walk in spring time never mind in January - and my balance was crap, with the other I felt more spritely than ever!

[Bue]

Folk in NA do not drive everywhere - that's what English people think, and it is truer in the suburbs, but in the cities most of my friends take public transportation to work.

[Rosduk]

I slipped on ice when I was 20 weeks preggo. Baby was fine but I did bleed afterwards which was very scary. It wouldn't keep
me housebound though if I was pregnant again!

[LittleBearPad]

To be fair if you are walking the same route as her why don't you offer to walk with her and make sure she doesn't slip.

[lljkk]

I come from a big city in North America, Bue, with arguably the best weather in the world.

Most people drive everywhere. Taking the bus or trolley gets you pity.

[GreatSoprendo]

Sorry but YABU. Having taken 5 years and plenty of IVF to get pregnant, I'm not taking any unnecessary risks with this pregnancy. Went for a walk to the shops yesterday on the fresh snow but its all turned to ice now so not been out today and wont be out on foot tomorrow either. Who knows what background there is to your friends pregnancy but its her choice and has zero effect on you so you shouldn't care in the slightest - at most you should be pleased your friends OH is being so thoughtful.
Sounds like what taxis were invented for to me (smile)

[DoJo]

Wow - I'm really surprised at all the responses, and as someone who has been pregnant and was walking in the snow we had last year at 8 months gone, I am amazed that so many people would avoid it. Perhaps I was just blissfully optimistic about things, but it genuinely didn't occur to me not to go out, plus even my mum (potentially the most overprotective grandma on earth) just said 'If you think you're going to fall, try and make sure you go over backwards! Feel pretty sure I'll remember this thread if I have another one though - it's made me feel very reckless retrospectively.