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AIBU?

To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

252 replies

Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:36

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

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Jsa1980 · 20/01/2013 16:47

I'm 29 weeks and rehesus negative am extremely cautious in the snow, not been out all weekend but walked to work Fri and will be doing the same Mon (10 mins). I really don't fancy anymore injections or avoidable trips to the hospital.

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Fakebook · 20/01/2013 16:47

YABU. But I'd roll my eyes too, even though I know it's none of my business and I'd be unreasonable to do it. I hate it when women make out pregnancy is an illness.

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Mybumissquidgy · 20/01/2013 16:47

YAB completely U.

I had prenatal depression so was terrified to leave the house the entire time I was pregnant, snowy day or otherwise. How do you know the "preciousness" isn't related to anything like this and her dh is the cover story like my partner was? Some people bottle it up because they are scared of being judged by people like you. Nasty.

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MrsDonaldDraper · 20/01/2013 16:47

Yabu. I'm 23 weeks, and have a placenta previa and am rh- so am not taking any chances and am working fom home tomorrow. I'm sure there are loads of women who think I'm being over cautious, but I'd rather not take the risk

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Alisvolatpropiis · 20/01/2013 16:47

Besides,if she fell over,it might not hurt the baby but she could break her leg...you think it's safer to walk,she does not. Everyone is allowed to make their own decisions.

I'll be walking to work tomorrow through a high foot traffic area and can't say the thought fills me with joy at all. The council don't grit the paths,just the roads so where I live it is probably safer to drive than walk.

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EricNorthmansFangBanger · 20/01/2013 16:47

YABU. I say this as a heavily pregnant lady myself. I have SPD and the pavements are treacherous, very icy and slippery. You cannot get to the main pavement where I live unless you walk up a small ramp first as we are set back from the road. I have fallen on that the last time it snowed badly and really hurt myself. I wasn't pregnant at that time but I'd still feel like your friend I think. It doesn't matter to you whether she gets a taxi, does it?

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Iamsparklyknickers · 20/01/2013 16:48

Well it might not cause harm to the baby, but I don't think it's UR to want to avoid unnecessary injuries. Who wants to pop needless pain killers when they're pregnant because they've taken a tumble and bruised/sprained/broken something?

It's not really a huge drama to get a taxi somewhere, it's not like she's commissioned scot of the Antarctic to carry her in wrapped in cotton wool.

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countrykitten · 20/01/2013 16:48

ER - what has this got to do with you? Is it harming you? Leave her be for goodness sake.

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SugarplumMary · 20/01/2013 16:49

Maybe there is an underlying reason? I have dyspraxia - which means for me poor co-ordination and balance so walking in snow and ice is never my favourite thing.

I was 17 weeks when my parents banned me from attending a family funeral - involving lots of travel in icy weather as they were worried about me falling.

I had managed to fall done the stairs by that stage though - causing large amount of spotting which an very old GP decided to tell us was a sign I was mc - I didn't and MW was Hmm when we told her what was said.

I?ve known other mother get very over cautious when they had a mc or a few.

Maybe try and avoid till pg over or change subject if it's getting to you?

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mirry2 · 20/01/2013 16:49

It may have taken a long time for the op's friend to conceive, or maybe she had a previous miscarriage as some of the other posters have suggested. I think that some people would take extra care in those circumstances.

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INeedThatForkOff · 20/01/2013 16:49

I started maternity leave early at 33 weeks first time round. The pavements and road all along our street were completely covered in compacted snow and ice for a week. I knew the car park at work would be the same, and that the corridors and steps inside would be wet and slippy. My neighbour had slipped right over twice on the pavement outside.

That ok with you OP?

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Rosa · 20/01/2013 16:50

I had no option but to walk in ice and snow on pavements / bridges DH walked with me and hung on to me ....I was scared shitless of slipping and hitting the ground with a bang. i was 7& 8 months ( 2 snow falls). I had a healthy pg and worked until 39 weeks . I also fell down 2 steps landed on my knees did no harm to the baby but was terrified that I had . Lucky her she can take a taxi and to be honest I think she is being protective also as its her first she might be being over careful but so what?

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Cheeryble · 20/01/2013 16:50

Something tells me that if or when this couple get on to child no. 2 her dh will be less concerned about her walking in the snow. Due to the fact that, if it does snow, delivering no. 1 to school or nursery and collecting will be totally down to him.

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Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:51

Ok I will accept that I am bu. I would wonder though about the actual risks are at this stage. How common is miscarriage from a fall at standing height?

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Viviennemary · 20/01/2013 16:51

I think that is perfectly fair if she thinks she will slip she is right not to go out into the snow. She and her DH are only being cautious and they are right to be.

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allthegoodnamesweretaken · 20/01/2013 16:51

When I was heavily pregnant a couple of years ago there was loads of snow and it was really icy. I was absolutely terrified that i would fall and harm the baby so I hardly left the house.
YABU, they want to protect their child, what on earth is wrong with that???

Plus, it's not like they're asking you to pay for the taxi is it? So why do you care?

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karatekimmi · 20/01/2013 16:52

I got banned from walking into school work by the school nurse last year and would have been about 15-20 weeks. I think you do wverythin you can to keep the baby safe, however misguided. I don't understand why this bothers you as it doesn't seem to impact you at all? YABU to care about it!

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BackforGood · 20/01/2013 16:52

Of course YANBU. What she needs to ensure is that she has a decent pair of walking boots or wellies, not refuse to come to work ! Shock. Ridiculous. Can't understand that's not been said to her by her manager(s).

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DoItToJulia · 20/01/2013 16:52

I know of someone who slipped, fell into a curb and the injury to the placenta caused her baby to die. This was while there was no snow on the ground.

Whilst I accept this is an extreme, I can understand why no pregnant woman would want to risk that horror.

Try and be kind?

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Discolite · 20/01/2013 16:52

Fakebook, pregnancy may not be an illness but it can certainly bloody feel like one at times. Not all women have a straightforward, comfortable pregnancy.

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HumphreyCobbler · 20/01/2013 16:52

I think yabu as I felt incredibly unbalanced when pregnant.

That does not rule out the possibility that your friend is annoyingly precious about her pregnancy though. Some people are.

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Trills · 20/01/2013 16:52

I would roll my eyes more at being "banned" by someone else than I would if she was just being overly cautious about walking when it's slippy.

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DoItToJulia · 20/01/2013 16:53

But she s going to work, just using a different transport.....

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HumphreyCobbler · 20/01/2013 16:53

yy to pregnancy being like an illness - I felt ill the whole bloody time.

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babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 20/01/2013 16:55

Facebook I hate when people disingenuously trot out that old line. Sometimes pregnancy IS an illness, or causes it. Mental and/or physical.

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