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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

252 replies

Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:36

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

OP posts:

twentythirteen · 20/01/2013 23:23

I don't have an opinion on whether your friend should or should not walk in the snow, but I do wonder why it really bothers you...

PickledInAPearTree · 20/01/2013 23:25

I'm 35 weeks and in avoiding it where possible. In walking like a penguin that shat itself in good conditions.

I'm not moaning or hurting anyone else so if anyone wanted to moan at me about it I'd tell them to swivel to be fair!

LadyWidmerpool · 20/01/2013 23:37

She might break or sprain something and painkillers are tricky in pregnancy so I think she is being sensible as long as she uses a reputable taxi firm.

pigletmania · 20/01/2013 23:39

YABU its quite slippery, i have fallen on my back twice on the hard ground, it can be serious for a pregnant woman. I dont blame your friend

goldenlula · 20/01/2013 23:47

I fell over when I was about 20 weeks pregnant with dd in the snow/ice, straight onto my tummy. Thankfully, it caused no problems (and neither did he fall I had a few weeks later in town and the one at about 35 weeks when I twisted my foot in a rabbit hole). I can understand people being cautious.

Arseface · 20/01/2013 23:51

Am feeling a bit ashamed reading all this!
33 wks with twins and have been out and about in the snow lots.
Took the dogs and DS1 for a walk today and didn't really think about endangering the babies as it was so beautiful outside and, although I was wiped out afterwards, lovely to be in the fresh air.

My choice though and YABU to be judgey about your friend's choices.
YANBU to feel secretly bored at pregnancy chatter though!

forgetmenots · 20/01/2013 23:52

YABU, but you know that now!

With weak joints and an achy bump, I've strapped my shoe chains on when walking but it's more the feeling that your centre of gravity is way off. Makes it even more treacherous (and of course the stakes are higher if you fall). I'm getting a cab to work too, but not telling anyone in case they think I'm being precious

I think someone said up thread it's the mention of DH 'banning' her that's more annoying, YANBU to get sick of stuff like that, but she may just be hiding her nerves.

WorraLiberty · 21/01/2013 00:01

Lying has said it all for me really.

It's probably the 'drama' of it all and the constant going on about it that's irking you.

But she's not being unreasonable to not want to walk in the snow if she doesn't have to.

In the same way that if you don't have to walk up a flight of stairs in 6" stillettos, you probably wouldn't choose to.

toobreathless · 21/01/2013 00:02

This would make me inwardly roll my eyes and think she was a bit precious.

I think if she wasn't going in to work at all then she would be unreasonable but if she wants to pay for taxis then that's her choice!

I was skiing in my last pregnancy at 13 weeks and am now 29 weeks and carrying on as normal but that is my choice.

forgetmenots · 21/01/2013 00:08

May be too that she doesn't have these choices, might be a more difficult pregnancy than she is letting on. Mine has been fine so far (touch wood) but I know friends who wouldn't have dreamed of anything like this because of how shit or sore they were feeling - particularly those with spd.

ismaithliom · 21/01/2013 00:47

The bit that bothers me is her husband 'banned' her! Mr.ismaithliom wouldn't get a chance!

13 wks might be a bit extreme but each to their own.

Personally, I get VERY nervous about ice/snow (like an auld wan nervous) that's without being pg.

Carry a container of table salt with me if it's icy/slippy out, clear the way ;)

Morloth · 21/01/2013 00:49

I don't know, I bailed on the school run a couple of times when I was pregnant with DS2 in London when it was snowing and icy.

Just didn't seem worth the risk.

CheerfulYank · 21/01/2013 00:52

It seems a bit silly to me but I don't drive and live in an area where we have lots of snow every winter, sometimes for five or six months of the year. So I'm used to it. :)

Morloth · 21/01/2013 00:55

The snow is OK, is lovely to crunch snow. But in London it doesn't stay lovely and crunchy.

Melts a bit, refreezes, is like walking on wet glass. We often gave up on the footpath and walked along the road.

ismaithliom · 21/01/2013 01:06

Oh Lord, salt, I'd need Valium so. Nerves would be gone. Ok, so maybe it isn't a bit extreme.

Want2bSupermum · 21/01/2013 01:26

We get a decent amount of snow here in the US but if you don't clear the sidewalk infront of your house and put salt down the town does it for you and charges. I think you have until 9am. If it continues to snow during the day you are expected to go out and put more salt down unless they declare a state of emergency or the town calls/sends a text to your phone to tell you stay indoors. I therefore have no problems walking to town to get the train when it has snowed.

In the UK you wouldn't catch me walking 5mins to work with snow on the ground when 13 weeks pregnant. I had terrible MS with DD and with this pregnancy I got very tired quickly in the first trimester. No one shovels and I have yet to see anyone put salt down.

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 01:29

Yes YABU.
I know this is different but my Dad fell on black ice in his back garden the day before yesterday (SW London area). He was being careful, he looked but black ice is invisible and he slipped and fell. Luckily he caught himself before hitting the ground (at nearly 80 it could have been very bad for him!) so wasn't hurt BUT he is now staying in until the snow clears because it could have been a lot worse, and he scared himself.

My sister has fallen over in the snow - she didn't hurt herself but as she says, she's well padded.

I would have refused to walk in this weather while pg too, because of my age, having had 3 MCs, having weak joints anyway and SPD, and a tendency to positional vertigo. AND my DH would have agreed that I should stay out of the snow; and I might have jokingly said he had "banned" me from going out. But it would have been my decision.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 21/01/2013 02:06

Thumb :( Is your Dad OK? I bet you are loving all of this snow talk while you are basking in the sun

MidniteScribbler · 21/01/2013 02:17

Her DH could very well have said "I'm worried about you walking in the snow and would rather you take a taxi." and she's probably jokingly said "DH banned me from walking" which MN then turns in to he's abusive and controlling.

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 02:18

I am extremely of all the snow - although it's relatively pleasant here at the mo, we have had a couple of extremely awful days last week (44 deg C in the shade) and are due for a couple more this week, slightly less hot but more humid so more foul. My friend nearly lost her rabbit to heatstroke last week - she didn't bring the rabbit into the house because they don't have aircon and her indoor temp was 49 deg but when it nearly died, she had to bring it in and put it in front of a fan on the tiled bathroom floor, after wetting it. We don't go out in the sun, it would flay your skin off. DH and DS1 have been out a little bit, swimming and that - but me and DS2 just stay inside in the aircon. :)

Dad is fine thanks - just a bit shaken up and not setting foot outside until it's clear!

Morloth · 21/01/2013 02:28

Yep, my thermostat said 47degrees in my backyard on Friday.

Snow would be bloody lovely.

differentnameforthis · 21/01/2013 03:28

I think it is time we stopped judging what others do, to be honest. I slipped in the snow a lot last week, and that was trying to be careful! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being cautious.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 21/01/2013 03:30

Thumbwitch, the idea of no internal a/c in this weather is making me come over all faint.

ivanapoo · 21/01/2013 03:30

As PPs have said its not snow but the post-snow icy evil that's the problem.

I HATE going out in it and am glad I'm on mat leave so I can just stay inside all day cuddling my newborn while eating cake and watching crap telly

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 04:14

Tortoise, I'm surprised that it seems relatively common for rentals not to have aircon - I would have thought that it was as necessary as it is for the UK rental houses to have heating, but apparently not!

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