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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
Corygal · 20/01/2013 15:10

Send MIL a copy of the pix anyway. Tell her about the local boys' behaviour.

Don't use adjectives. We can tho' - those girls are rough, revolting vandals.

Um, did the local lads think the girls were sex workers? Odd reaction to have with apology that it was a private home & re your drink etc &c. They prob just thought they were whores in town for the weekend.

TweedSlacks · 20/01/2013 15:12

At least the young lads did the right thing .
I would be asking for money to cover the 3 bottles of Champage they stole from you as well.
In fact i would be asking for £500 . This is a fair amount and less than if they had stayed at an inclusive chalet.
Spoilt , pretenious little madams.

Hope it was a cold, long and expensive trip to the airport for them as well , with champage hangovers.

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 15:13

So no news from MIL or HSIL but managed to speak to DH properly. He backs me 100% but doesn't want to ask for money for the bedding. He is in UK next week on business and promises to pick up another set of bedding for me! (Though how he will fit it in his briefcase, mmmm?)

Thanks for all your kind words.

Just done a tour of the house, there doesn't seem to be anything missing, thank goodness.

OP posts:
Astelia · 20/01/2013 15:29

The White Company are very reasonable on international postage. I would just let them take the strain, bedding is very heavy in suitcases.

Gigondas · 20/01/2013 15:31

Has bedding not washed ok?
I would probably agree that definitely tell mil all that went on but any cash should be coming from hsil.

Do you feel a bit calmer now they have gone , vented on Here and spoken to dh. Dh sounds lovely btw.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 20/01/2013 15:40

What absolute madams!

CecilyP · 20/01/2013 15:44

They sound absolutely awful. It is your home, they have taken advantage of your hospitality and are then rude to you. And if that was not bad enough, they commit criminal damage. Photos to your MIL sound like a good idea. I can't believe how spoilt, selfish and entitled they sound.

And as for getting to the airport, they are grown women of 20 who have chosen to take a trip abroad for their holiday, not 12-year-old schoolgirls who need to be looked after. And so, of course, you have done the right thing. It would also have been right to expect them to make their own transport arrangement even if they had been perfect guests.

SugarPasteSnowflake · 20/01/2013 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/01/2013 16:07

Can't wait to hear MIL's response!

I hope HSIL is ashamed of herself.

bringbacksideburns · 20/01/2013 16:12

I wouldn't have further contact.

Your DH should ring and speak to his mother when he gets home. Make sure he tells her about the abuse you suffered and the fact total strangers have sent you an apology and offered to clean up rather than these spoilt entitled madams.

hermioneweasley · 20/01/2013 16:12

Just curious, what is Dh's reason fr not asking for the money for bedding and champagne? I think teaching HSIL about responsibility is the kindest thing the family coukd do for her. Also, she hasn't cared about being rude or family harmony (if that's the reason).

hermioneweasley · 20/01/2013 16:13

Yes, second what bringback says.

Hissy · 20/01/2013 16:16

I too can't wait for MIL reply. Your H needs to call her too. Otherwise this will just get ignored. Email the pics.

MrsMushroom · 20/01/2013 16:18

I bet DH won't ask for money because he's too gentlemanly. Don't mention it to him...you do it. I would! It''s almost criminal damage!

Flatbread · 20/01/2013 16:38

I think asking for money would be too confrontational and a bit crass, tbh. It is ok to take money for damages if you run a holiday business, but not within a family situation, IMO.

The issue is the disrespect shown to OP. I bet her dh is seriously pissed about that.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 20/01/2013 16:39

But it's not just family, Flatbread - it's HSIL's mates too.

ConferencePear · 20/01/2013 17:04

Slightly off the point I know, but is there some way you can let the young men involved how much you appreciate their efforts at putting things right ?

Pigsmummy · 20/01/2013 17:47

Take photos and send to your MIL

financialwizard · 20/01/2013 17:50

I am aghast, truly I am.

I hope mil rips hsil a new one. I would be mortified if that was my daughter.

Lueji · 20/01/2013 18:07

I'd be fuming at the lack of respect and ask for the money from the SIL as a matter of principle.
And demand a proper apology.

She should not get away with such behaviour.

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 19:02

UPDATE:

The two local lads just knocked on my door. It was too cold to keep the door open whilst i talked to them so against DH's advice i invited them in. They are not local lads as i had assumed, they are ski instructors from an Eastern European country here on special permits and were worried they would loose their permits and jobs if i reported the incident. All they seem guilty of is coming into my home uninvited by me and drinking my champagne and eating food from the fridge.

Explained i was not upset with them and asked what had happened. So the story goes, they met the girls in a bar earlier in the week. The girls told them they were British pop stars. The lads bumped into the girls again on Saturday night and they spent the evening together. The girls had made up new names and identities, all a fabrication. They all got drunk and the girls invited them back to my home.

The girls took them straight to the cellar looking for alcohol and then to the pool in the next room. They lounged around the pool drinking the champagne and then one of the girls vomited into the pool. Then one of the lads accidentally dropped a half full champagne bottle into the pool and the girls tossed the other bottles into the pool too. They went upstairs and dranks some more and ate some food then i arrived.

They apologised, i said all was ok and not their fault and nothing to clean up. They thanked me and left.

OP posts:
teacher123 · 20/01/2013 19:05

Nice. So your guests stole your food and drink and invited complete strangers into your house whilst you and your babies were asleep upstairs?

Any word from MIL yet?

DeafLeopard · 20/01/2013 19:05

Shock your SIL and friends behaviour gets worse Shock

I am absolutely livid at the way that they treated your home and your hospitality

teacher123 · 20/01/2013 19:06

Sorry that looks a bit abrupt! I am just flabbergasted!

LadyMargolotta · 20/01/2013 19:06

OMG. Have you taken photos of what they did? I would take photos and write up everything as evidence.