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AIBU?

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
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edam · 20/01/2013 12:32

At least you've learned not to allow HSIL anywhere near you in future. Or to listen to MIL when she says 'oh, so-and-so will be no trouble'.

Your HSIL and here friends are ungrateful, horrible little cows but the local lads sound decent, which is some comfort.

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AThingInYourLife · 20/01/2013 12:34

Nice gesture from the young lads.

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Lafaminute · 20/01/2013 12:38

High time they learned to cope with real life. I would NOT give their care another thought. They sound like spoilt little wagons. OOOH I am SO annoyed Angry on your behalf!!

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TheCrackFox · 20/01/2013 12:38

The boys sound lovely. On the plus side if MIL starts to believe her DDs version of events (I would imagine that she is one of life's liars) you can ask why the boys felt the need to apologise and try to make amends.

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trixymalixy · 20/01/2013 12:38

Your chalet sounds lovely! Can I come and stay, I'll be no bother Wink.

What childish ungrateful behaviour. I think I'd have thrown them out in the middle of the night. YANBU.

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milf90 · 20/01/2013 12:55

Definitely nbu, please let us know what mil says!

Glad the guys are at least being decent, they sound like nice young men.

Can't believe your hsil treated u like that! I'm 22, was pregnant at 20 an there's no way I would have ever have acted like that! Ahe aounds like a spoilt cow!!

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edam · 20/01/2013 12:58

Your dh sounds nice, btw, how lovely of him to buy you a chalet to say 'thanks'. Smile

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HollaAtMeBaby · 20/01/2013 13:01

YANBU. Appalling behaviour. What phone have you got by the way? Someone on here will know how to get the photos off it.

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hermioneweasley · 20/01/2013 13:03

Agree with what everyone is saying that the girls' behaviour is unacceptable. On the bright side, you now have the perfect excuse to never invite any of MIL's friends and family - ever! Also, the people who live locally and you have to get along with seem lovely and polite.

Agree with others saying get a pic of the boys' apology note and the empty bottles of champagne - I'd be billing for those too.

When MIL replies and DH helps you attach pics to the email, you can explain to HSIL what the bill for sheets, cleaning and champagne is, cc'ing MIL.

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Bluestocking · 20/01/2013 13:07

What nice young men. This may be silver lining in this otherwise utterly depressing cloud.
Can't wait to hear what MIL/HSis have to say for themselves.

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TotallyEggFlipped · 20/01/2013 13:09

I can't believe how badly some people behave when they're 'on holiday'. At 20 they should know better.

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sashh · 20/01/2013 13:11

But have i done the right thing?

Depending on the country and the language the only thing different I would do is phone the police and complain about the damage.

I can't believe, actually I can believe, but I can't understand why someone thinks it's OK to behave that way.

If you have not cleaned up yet then take photographs and post them with the letter to MIL.

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foslady · 20/01/2013 13:15

YY to the photos, write down EVERYTHING that happened - then when it all blows up send a copy over complete with receipts and time it took to put it all right. You have my sympathy - I'd be seething

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InLoveWithDavidTennant · 20/01/2013 13:33

you have some brilliant advice so im not going to add anything

just wanted to say i am very Angry on your behalf.

we live in a crappy house, but if someone had done that here 1) they would not be back and 2) they would be paying for damage

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NatashaBee · 20/01/2013 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stokes · 20/01/2013 14:00

What lovely boys, they must be mortified. Will be interesting to see what MIL says, presumably she'll be disgusted.

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fuzzpig · 20/01/2013 14:08

I really hope mil is horrified but I have a feeling she will side with her DD. hope I'm wrong.

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Flatbread · 20/01/2013 14:11

Btw, regarding your original aibu, you were doing the right thing by making them get up early and take public transportation to the airport.

Even if they had been perfect guests, that would have been the normal thing to do. Nobody would expect you to make a six hour round trip in the snow with small dc. It would not be practical or safe.

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Smudging · 20/01/2013 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Astelia · 20/01/2013 14:28

Keep the photos safe. Unbelievable behaviour from selfish, ungrateful girls. Wanton vandalism of your hosts' house? If they weren't leaving the country you could have reported them for criminal damage.

It will be interesting to hear what MIL thinks, if she is anything other than horrified, send her a copy of the photos.

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DeafLeopard · 20/01/2013 14:48

What well mannered boys, they put your SIL and her selfish mates to shame

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breatheslowly · 20/01/2013 14:56

YANBU - I would be furious. Your HSIL is 20 so should be behaving like an adult and needs to take responsibility for this. I think that people who live in desirable places often have people taking the piss with wanting to get a free holiday.

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 20/01/2013 15:07

How very upsetting for you. Why don't you call MIL to discuss this before SIL gets back so you tell her what happened before SIL tries to downplay it?

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ExitPursuedByABear · 20/01/2013 15:08

Am very jealous of your chalet, with pool

YANBU - I would be livid in your shoes.

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myfirstkitchen · 20/01/2013 15:09

What cows. Be nice if they missed their flights. You're nicer than me, I'd of let them sleep in and then not driven them!

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