First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.
DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.
The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.
Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.
HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.
They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.
On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).
I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.
I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?
AIBU?
To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country
EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30
Yanbu.
I would detail what was said, highlighting the boys late at night, smoking, snotty cow and old hag comments.
Mention the no respect, no help as well.
And leave it at that. No point asking for compensation, it just dilutes the message and will make you sound a bit precious.
I think you have done really well so far. Perfect mix between reasonableness and being firm 
YANBU. Kungfupanda's suggestion is absolutely spot on. And bugger the reasoning that if you have a chalet you can afford to pay for the sheets. If those ghastly young women can afford the flights to you for a freeloading holiday, the costs of skiing gear and skiing and the boozy night they seem to have had, they can fish about and find the cash for the sheets. They can spend the money they saved by not buying you a thank-you present.
And your MIL should be involved in this. She was the one who talked you into it by holding out her daughter and her friends as helpful, respectful houseguests. At the very least MIL should be reading her daughter the riot act for making a liar out of MIL and pressuring her daughter into apologising and replacing your sheets. If MIL is any sort of decent person, she would want to be involved to put things right after what her daughter and her awful friends out you through.
Finally, don't take any comments about creating a "rift in the family" on board. If anyone would be responsible for that it would be your HSIL. Any member of your family who expects you to suck up being insulted and intimidated in your own home has serious problems with their priorities.
and [chocolates] for you!
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