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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country

770 replies

EspressoMonkey · 20/01/2013 09:30

First of all, sorry, long story and first world problem.

DH, DCs and i live abroad for DH's job. We live in a rented house close to DH's work as it is not really easy for foreigners to buy property where he works. I miss England and our lovely home there, so last year DH bought me a Ski Chalet as a birthday present / thank you for leaving your family and job in England to follow me around the world, present. He insisted it was my chalet, i could decorate it how i wanted etc, do what i wanted with it.

The chalet is in a fabulous ski resort and to me it is very much our home. We spend most weekends there, we do not rent it out as a holiday chalet.

Last year MIL asked whether HSIL and her uni flat mates could visit for a weeks snowboarding holiday. I was reluctant to agree. DH's does not really know his HSis and when she has visited us in other homes she has been very messy (straightens hair over sink leaving behind lots of hair etc etc) and she never helps out at all. Reluctantly i agreed, MIL insisted her friends were nice and they would help out and babysit DCs in exchange for free board.

HSIL and her friends booked plane tickets which meant they landed late at night with no way of getting to the chalet so DH drove a 6 hour round trip to collect them from the airport.

They have been here all week and as i guessed, have been hard work. They have done nothing to help out around the house, not bothered to help with dinner or clean away afterwards, not helped with DCs or bothed to even buy me a bunch if flowers or some chocs to say thank you for having them. We all eat together but they talk amongst themselves and make little conversation.

On Wednesday DH was called back to work with a crisis, leaving DCs, myself and HSIL and her friends. Since then they have been worse, going out at night and getting drunk and returning at 2/3am and waking DCs and i with their noise. Last night things worsened. DCs and i were woken at 3am, i could hear male voices and smelt cigarette smoke. Our house is strictly non smoking, especially as we have a baby. I went into the lounge and interrupted the party. I asked the young men to stop smoking in my home and to please leave as i didn't know who they were. The young men were local lads and were very apologetic for smoking and waking us and explained they didn't know it was a private home. As they left one of HSIL's friends, under her breath, called me a snotty cow. I turned around and politely challeneged her on her comment. She repeated it and called me an old hag too (34 BTW, she is 20).

I went back to bed fuming and in tears. This morning i woke them all up at 8.00am. They are due to fly back home tonight and i assume were expecting DH or me to take them to the airport. I explained that because DH was not here and because we had had a lot of snow lately and the minibus was snowed in, they could make their own way back to the airport via public transport. I was not driving them 6 hours round trip. They had 12 hours to get back to the airport themselves. The journey is a bus and two train rides and takes a total of 3.5 / 4 hours. An hour later i heard the door bang and went to their rooms. They have left and take all their stuff. They have not said good bye. The room where the two girls were sleeping has been trashed. Make up; lipstick, foundation and other stuff has been smeared into my beautiful new White Company bed sheets. It doesn't look like an accident as it is on all the pillows, duvet and sheet.

I phoned DH at work and told him what had happened. It was a broken line and DH was v. busy at work so i know he wasn't really aware of the whole story as it was hardto talk. But he questioned whether i had checked they had money to get to the airport and whether the trains were running. I hadn't. I have checked since and the trains are running. But have i done the right thing? AIBU?

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 21/01/2013 13:43

wow the envy is palpable

anyway OP I hope your DH can get some money out of them for the theft and damage - what vile little brats they where x

Hissy · 21/01/2013 13:45

OOOh! How posh is she?

The Sheep on LesMis planet have BANDWAGONS!

Wind it in eh love, all that frothing, and you'll let your class show...

Inertia · 21/01/2013 13:45

Frankly it's not surprising that your SIL is the spoilt brat that she is, given how your MIL makes excuses for her.

I wouldn't be buying any birthday presents or Christmas presents for her for a while.

TheCraicDealer · 21/01/2013 13:48

I am not for one moment suggesting that the behaviour of these guests was anything but appalling, but it sounds like nothing was actually broken and the damage can be dealt with quite easily.
So as long as nothing gets broken getting your home treated like a doss house is alright? We'll ignore the £300 of champagne taken, the vomit in the pool and the ruined sheets then, shall we?

I think the OP went into this with the wrong attitude and she was unlucky that the guests became so riled by her that they probably did this quite deliberately, knowing that they wouldn't be invited back.
There's a bit of a difference between thinking "Oh I'll never be invited back so I won't bother cleaning, etc." to thinking that it's appropriate to bring back two strange men to someone's family home after a boozy night on the town.

Whether or not you need the money, I was brought up to work hard for what I have and to maximise my assets and make them work for me.
Thanks for the advice, Martin Lewis. For what it's worth, I think the OP is speaking to her DH so much is because it is a delicate situation regarding his family rather than her being incapable of making decisions on her own.

PureQuintessence · 21/01/2013 13:49

I am beyond livid that this has happened to you and I know it isnt the price of the bedding, or the Champagne but the fucking principle that they trashed/stole from a family member without an apology or anything.

^This

diddl · 21/01/2013 13:50

OP doesn´t own multiple homes does she?

From what I can gather she owns a ski chalet & the house that they live in is rented.

Where was a minibus mentioned??

If there were only 4 girls, they would all fit in a car, wouldn´t they??

MuddlingMackem · 21/01/2013 13:52

Inertia Mon 21-Jan-13 13:45:46

I wouldn't be buying any birthday presents or Christmas presents for her for a while.

JoanByers · 21/01/2013 13:57

So much drama.

I would take the following action:

Bill HSIL for new sheets, champagne, cleaning - about £500 in all?

If she doesn't pay, sue her on MCOL: www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

Job done.

Pagwatch · 21/01/2013 13:57

"FWIW DH and I own 4 properties between us, but I wouldn't dream of boasting about it"

You seem to be finding it easier and easier to mention it.

I am sure there are others on this thread with more than one home who actually don't feel the need to mention it as errr...it isn't the slightest bit relevant.

TheCraicDealer · 21/01/2013 14:00

"I wouldn't dream of boasting about it"

LtEveDallas · 21/01/2013 14:00

Just stick the cable that came with you new phone into your computer's USB port, it will install its own software and download the photos of the damage itself

Actually, that depends on the camera. Our Kodak was plug and play, but our new Nikon required us to download 1 piece of software from the supplied CD and another from the website - so no need for your sarcasm, you could be wrong.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2013 14:01

I'd just like to say to the OP that I am more than a teeny bit in love with your DH. Thoughtful, hardworking, stinking rich. Please tell me he's as sugly as sin. Please ;)

PureQuintessence · 21/01/2013 14:03

LessMissAbs - can you just stop boasting? You are actually not adding anything useful to the thread.

BiscuitMillionaire · 21/01/2013 14:05

If MIL and HSIS are trying to blame it all on the nasty friend, then remember that HSIS must have gone along with inviting the men into your home late at night without your permission. She can't wriggle out of that one.

atosilis · 21/01/2013 14:12

I am feeling everso slightly sorry for the HSIL as I know people like X. They can stir up the most trouble, leader of the pack, centre of the universe - and then get away the carnage scot-free. They have a Teflon shield. I bet the WHOLE journey back X will have been blaming HSIL for the long journey and a crabby Hostess (which you are NOT). I'll also bet that she is cross that she was interupted from a potential 'ski-instructor shag'.

You were very lucky that the blokes who came back were very nice.

Ask MIL how she would have reacted if you'd had to tell her that HSIL had been sexually assaulted in your house? She would go mad at you and your husband for not looking after her. Does she bring random blokes back to their home?

I'm giving that example because of the X I knew.

Angelico · 21/01/2013 14:13

:o at craicdealer

OP glad you at least got your version of events across.

And Lessmiss you do sound slightly mad. What business is it of yours what other people do with their properties? The fact you are jealous and bitter don't like the OP's lifestyle choices does NOT mean her guests have not behaved horrendously. They have and she's entitled to feel angry. Whether you're rich or poor, nobody likes being shat upon.

Chubfuddler · 21/01/2013 14:14

Abs whether the op is a pampered princess failing to maximise her assets or not is completely irrelevant. She didn't ask for an appraisal of her finances. She asked if she was reasonable to be so pissed off. She was.

And if you think it's all a crock of shit either ignore or report.

Angelico · 21/01/2013 14:15

lol bit

Atos I do actually understand a morsel of sympathy for SIL - but hopefully she will learn the valuable lesson to avoid egocentric twats like friend X - if the unfortunate X is the real culprit.

atosilis · 21/01/2013 14:16

interrupted

diddl · 21/01/2013 14:19

But X was nice before she got SIL into trouble, wasn´t she??Confused

PureQuintessence · 21/01/2013 14:23

The MIL did actually vouch for this other girl.

Disclaimer:
I dont own 4 properties, I have never drunk £350 worth of champagne, let alone seen bottles worth that much. This does not mean I am in any way biased in my responses. It is beyond the scope. HSIL has behaved appallingly, and how many of OPs homes she has the potential of mistreating, is beside the point.

RuleBritannia · 21/01/2013 14:28

Less I can also boast.
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. I have a house with no mortgage and it has two garages

You picked unnecessarily at minor aspects of the OP's initial post which were not connected to the purpose of it all. They were just useful background so we knew what she was talking abut. If my DH gave me a gift, whether it were a Swiss chalet or a bracelet or a daily newspaper, I would hate it if someone else spoiled it.

atosilis · 21/01/2013 14:30

MIL might never had met this girl. HSIL is hardly likely to say, "I want to bring X who is a fucking loon by the way". I bet MIL is worried now that her daughter has got someone in her social circle who is dangerous.

I wouldn't let our middle daughter go away to Newquay after GCSEs as one of her friends was an XXX. Youngest daughter went to Newquay as I really trusted her group of friends. Middle daughter still brings up the unfairness but understands it now. She still went away but not with Senorita Trubbelmaca

Eskino · 21/01/2013 14:32

How old? I think your MIL has to take responsibility for these kids (?) horrible childish behaviour, LAladys idea to take photo evidence and let your MIL know all about it is a good one.

YANBU by the way. It'll do them good to have to find their own way home.

Bogeyface · 21/01/2013 14:32

While I think that the OP is NBU, I have to admit that I find the mentioning of the cost of things to be slightly distasteful.

It doesnt matter if they were White Company sheets or Home Bargain sheets. It doesnt matter that it is a ski chalet that was a birthday present ( Hmm ) or a holiday chalet in Skeggy. It doesnt matter if it was £300 + worth of champagne or £20 worth of Asda Pinot Grigio. It doesnt matter that she puked in the pool or in the kitchen sink.

She and her friends treated the place like shit and that is totally unacceptable. However insisting on informing everyone of what everything cost is unnecessary and vulgar!