To ask why people co sleep?

[Cathycomehome]

It seems quite popular on here, but all advice I see is not to. So, why do people still do it, when they follow other advice to the letter?

[Morloth]

When I had DS2 in an NHS hospital, the midwife got him out of the plasticy cot thingy for me, and put the side of the bed up so we could sleep together.

DS1 I had in a private hospital in Oz and had a double bed, andc was encouraged to have him in with me.

[Cathycomehome]

Well, I'm seeing the plus side now, but I'm still sticking to the bedside cot and screaming! Thanks for replies and sharing experiences.

[NoelHeadbands]

Because I breastfed, because we didn't drink, we didn't smoke and if I'm being absolutely honest, because we all loved it.

Sorry for all those who have lost their babies x

[VisualiseAHorse]

HappyPiglet - I use cloth nappies at night too..only had to change once in the night in the last 4 months.

[seeker]

This annoys me- it's not co sleeping in a properly organised way that's dangerous, it's falling asleep with a baby when you don't intend to. The warnings conflate proper co sleeping with falling asleep while sitting up feeding a baby on the sofa. Completely different things.

[facebookaddictno9]

here is an excellent link

Countries where they co-sleep as a matter of course have no/practically no SIDS. I read so where Japan where everyone co-sleeps don't even have a word for it - but I stand prepared to be wrong.

Co-sleeping is natural - I've done it with mine (still wakes a lot).

I don't think the segregation off mother and baby that is encouraged in this country is in any way best for baby.

[Porkster]

I co-slept for years and it was perfect for us. It was recommended to me by my mw with my first.

A family member lost their newborn to cot death 2 years ago and they were co-sleeping, but they are also smokers.

[facebookaddictno9]

Also sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies.

Midwife advised me to co sleep.

[Morloth]

I only changed pooey bums at night, otherwise I didn't worry about it.

[Cathycomehome]

Brilliant, other people do it right then, and SIDS doesn't happen. well, those of us that did it wrong might stick to guidelines then.

[wannabedreams]

Why not? I'm not a massive fan of it but that said all my babies as newborns have slept with me and they are always allowed in my bed if they wake up scared. It's my job to keep them warm and safe....

[Cathycomehome]

That was to seeker, but I think I should hide my own thread now. Thanks for advice.

[Morloth]

The problem with guidelines is that they are different all around the world andv change over time.

I think SIDS is a bit like a lightening strike, there are some things you can do to reduce the risk, but sometimes it just happens.

[Startail]

To get some fucking sleep

[Moominsarescary]

Yeah not too keen on the paranoid comment either, I've always been advised not to as they were prem.

[overmydeadbody]

I co-clept becaue it felt right. DS was 10 weeks premature and skin to skin was highly encouraged by the doctors and midwives. Once I got him our of an incubator there was no way I was going to put him i a cot. He stayed by my side, in my arms, night and day.

It just felt so right, we both slept wonderfully, he soon started latching on without me really waking. I was always aware of his presence, just like I am always aware of DP's presence in the bed.

I don't follow other guidance to the letter either, I prefer to use my instinct.

[pookamoo]

I'm not sure that SIDS is caused by wrong/right co-sleeping at all. They can't determine the cause of tragic SIDS, so sadly, one can never know whether it was caused by something done or not done.

The safe co-sleeping advice is there to prevent parents squashing/smothering their babies, surely?

In your circumstances, OP, I could see that the guidelines would be followed to the letter.

I hope your little one decides to let you sleep tonight

[Ashoething]

Yanbu op.i would rather gouge my own eyes out than co sleep.dh takes up.enough space as it is.dcs were in.moses basket for first few months then.own room.i have friends who co sleep.they spend hours getting the kid to sleep then bf all night long.and im not talking about tiny babes here but dcs of 2 and 3 years of age! Eh.no thanks.i like to have a bit of time and a bit of the bed to myself.probably wont win any mummy martyr medals though.

[tethersend]

I'm currently cosleeping with 8mo DD2 out of necessity (she WILL NOT sleep), but I cannot fathom why anyone would want to do it. I absolutely hate it.

[MurderOfGoths]

Because it means I get some sleep, and I like waking up next to a smiley/cuddly baby. It's largely laziness on my part.

"Brilliant, other people do it right then, and SIDS doesn't happen."

I suspect it's more luck than "doing it right" :( Please don't think of it as doing it right or wrong. You were hugely unlucky, it could have happened to anyone. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've suffered.

If you want to co-sleep, do. But if you (understandably) don't want to, then don't, but please please don't think that you were to blame.

[Startail]

Because natural and what humans evolved to do.

Because lying with your baby beside you BFing and snoozing and snoozing and feeding is the most amazingly beautiful thing you will ever do.

And because the risk for sober, non smoking parents is tiny.

[BrandyAlexander]

Sorry for your losses cathy and missymoo. I did it because it was the only way I could get sleep. Dc2 woke up 3 times a night for the first year. I can see why sleep deprivation is used as mental torture!

As I write this dc1 (3) has just climbed into our bed as she's not well and her coughing woke her up. She's fast asleep next to me and it always gives me a warm feeling. dh's plans have prob been ruined though

[Ashoething]

At last a bit of honesty on.this thread.well said tethers.

[MurderOfGoths]

So it's only honest if people say they hate it?