To think £200 is too bloody much?

[MogwaiTheGremlin]

Friend has hired a country house for her birthday and has just informed us it's £200 per person. I'm really annoyed because a) it isn't even a 'special' birthday b) I didnt really want to go in the first place as it means leaving pfb overnight but i felt obliged as she is a good friend and c) I can't bloody afford it.
Im just going for one night as ds is still little so I'll be spending 6 hours on the train (by myself) to spend 24 hours there. I realise that is my own bloody fault and not hers but it adds to my annoyance!

There will be additional costs (travel, going out money etc) so whilst i have to write off the £200 should I make my excuses now and pull out before this thing escalates further?
Mostly im annoyed at myself for saying yes in the first place as i would be perfectly happy spending the weekend at home with ds and £200 could buy A LOT of nappies
She is a very good friend so feel free to flame me for being selfish.

need an update!

It's difficult though- someone mentions vague plans, you say "that sounds good" then they book without confirming the actual costs and other details. It can happen to anyone. I think you've handled it with integrity.

And as I said before, I think you've dodged a bullet, this will be the sort of weekend where you are best to hand over your credit card details and accept you've no control on how much it costs. Not just the changing accommodation costs but all the extras that are inevitable.

Please ensure you start a new thread should this friend ever get married, bridezilla to the max....do not agree to be bridesmaid ...

You have done the right thing, let us know how she replies. You are a very good friend with impeccable manners to offer to say the 100

I think you're been very good offering the £100. I don't think I could bring myself to do it if the initial figures talked about were in that range.

More fool her for not working to her friends budgets. Probably saved yourself an ear bashing offering though.

That's exactly how it happened - a vague plan that sounded good at the time - and with a new(ish) baby I hadn't been out for ages and felt under pressure to go and support my friend. Next thing I know BAM two hundred big ones!
Not sure I should mention this as my poor friend has already had a bit of a slating but she is a trust fund baby - ie loads of old family money and has never had to work so I think it's all a bit different for her.
And Dorset Made in Chelsea seriously?!?

Yep, shown about a couple of months ago. When did she arrange the party? it does look lovely when I have driven past.

Then seriously, she should be paying for the lot!

And why do you need going out money when you can have your own chef?

Early November, maybe she saw the show!

Well done. I think you have done the right thing. Hope she takes it ok. At least she has time to find some more friends to join her.

Sounds about right.

time wise.

But Portland in the winter is a completely different kettle of fish than Portland in the summer, not sure if it was even accessible on Friday as the hill is really steep to get up to the top where the Castle is.

I suppose it depends of the rest of the people going too, maybe they're happy to splash the cash on a moments notice too. Happily though most people work to the smallest budget and every one else enjoys the saving.

At least I thought they did!

Well done OP, offering her £100 is very classy probably a lot classier in the circumstances. Do let us know the response ( because I'm living my life voraciously through this!

If we all chip in a tenner, could we all turn up?

Just been looking up prices. From what I can find £200 is one nights price. It costs £5000-6000 for two nights so if they're paying that it looks like other guests are going to be paying £400+ for two nights, unless she's subsidising it.

Madness

clue there is plenty of room and if enough of you come maybe the cost will go back down to £100 and I can join in too
Knew I shouldn't have posted the actual link

I'm in. Mogwai i'll share with you and bring some lots of booze we can decant into hipflasks, save on other costs.

I will wave at you from across the water.

In that case why isn't she paying the whole lot!?

I don't understand why adults have birthday parties anyway. It's just weird. I mean, have a nice day and go out with your family, but a party, or a big meal with loads of friends, it's just a bit odd and drawing attention to oneself.

Ah trust funds. From my experience, the birthday girl may not realise that cost could be an issue for anyone so the venue is fair enough in her situation and her booking it ahead of confirming costs with you is more understandable. Hopefully you can arrange another celebration as well. One that doesn't involve 6+ hours of traveling!

What exactly is a Trust Fund Baby?

I'd pull out and say pfb is ill, or if you have to pay in advance it is around the time they are having vaccinations/HV check ups or anything you can think of...

You can catch up with her on another night just the two of you perhaps, much nicer and cheaper that way.