Would you judge us as parents if your child got a crap birthday present at a party?

[M0naLisa]

Me and DH are skint. Our two boys have a party invitation each for Sunday. Only handed out on Monday this week.
6yr old Is going to a day out with birthday boys parents on the morning with other kids in ds class.
4yr old is going to a local scout hut in the afternoon

We are skint. Would you judge us as parents if we gave a box of Maltesers as presents?

It's all we can afford at the moment. I just don't want the parents thinking were cheap skates :-(

foreverondiet - actually that's a very good point. DS1 did get a cheap RC car for his birthday, probably cost around $10 (not that I care about the cost) - but what was sad was that it only worked for about 5 minutes and then broke. I've tried to fix it, but just made it worse (and normally I'm quite good with these things!) and it doesn't work at all now. He keeps asking me if I've mended it yet and tbh I'd rather he'd had a box of Maltesers than a disappointment like this.

Would suit me.

NO. MORE. KINDERCRAP.

I would be pretty upset if someone didn't come to a party because they couldn't afford a present.

I view the party as a gift to my child, not some sort of bizarre fundraising event.

Why chocolates though.? From reading most of thread people are saying,,,, no prob, bring chocs but,have you considered x or y as an alternative. It's not about money value to me, it's about the thought.... I do not think chocs are any effort at all. They are just a "pass yourself" gift. I hate gifts like like, don't bother give if your not willing to put effort in IMO.

If you have 2 presents left over from Christmas 2011 why not give them? Or are you hoping to keep them to make your fortune at the antiques rd show?

I think you need to start picking up reduced items during the year, tescos Etc, to avoid such a situation arising again.

I can honestly say, I don't give even the beginnings of a fuck how much 'effort' is put into a gift for my DCs by a friend coming to their party.

More importantly, neither do they.

Well I like to put effort into presents, that's me. So hence it's nice when others do likewise.
There are different types of people, those who give a shit in life and those who don't .... I give a shit.
I do not judge what people give my children but I would remember a thoughtful gift no matter what the monetary value.
It appears people here feel anything will do... Which is fine but it's a cop out really, isn't it? A cop out for making jack shit effort.

I would be delighted with a box of maltesers. Mainly because DS doesn't like them and I do :D

You know, I think there's a level of financial hardship that a lot of people don't get. Just by a few things one of my friends says make me realise that the pound shop isn't an option because its a bus ride away. Likewise, I know plenty of children who wouldn't be going to the party unless offered a lift not just because of the present but because they had no way of getting there. Just not possible out of their budget to spend four pounds on bus fares. The maltesers, as has been said so many times on this thread, are a great gift with plenty of thought about what a child would actually like. Some of the things that have been said about it not being thoughtful have really missed several points and most especially about what broke actually means. Payday loans for party gifts? No thanks.

Haven't read the whole thread but OP you MUST send your child to the party, present or no present (and Maltesers sound lovely btw). I would hate to think a child didn't come to my dc's party if they didn't have a present to give.

If you have a spare piece of paper in the house, your ds could draw/write a card.

Really, don't worry. As most people on here have said, they are v v unlikely to judge you.

As Dancergirl said. I would hate for a child not to attend a party purely because they didn't have a gift to give. I would hope that no parent would judge you, it would be pretty despicable if they did.
My daughter recently had a third birthday party and received a lot of gifts. If she had 1 less we and she would not have noticed. A lot of parents brought toys of varying value, for us a box of maltesers would actually have been very nice.
The double upside to receiving chocolate would be that if my daughter didn't eat them that I would very happily demolish them.

I am in no financial hardship, zig, and I put very little thought into presents because (a) I don't have time and (b) I usually don't know the child. So they either get generic-toy-that-catches-my-eye or I ask DS what the child likes and he says, "err, Transformers, I think. No, Moshi Monsters maybe." - I really think he doesn't know either.

I don't see chocolates for kids as any less thoughtful than a toy or book and I'm sure the child was delighted with them.

If u but cheap u get cheap! Nothing worse than cheap brittle plastic tat it breaks straight away and leaves child upset. And no way would I have time money and storage space to go buying every bulk book/toy offer I see just in case we have a party invite.

Edible present would be far better option if your on a budget! Chocolates don't break, the silver paint doesn't wash off and most kids love chocolate!

Its more thoughtful to buy sweets that the kids garuntees to like than to grab the first piece of plastic crap u find that's in your budget.

Molehill

If there were an applauding emoticon , I would do it .

(((\O/))) (how's that )

I think the OP has put a lot of thought into this . She's cavassed a whole load of opinions on the interweb & more importantly asked her own DCs . There have been some absolutely fantastic ideas on this thread IMHO , but I take your point . If driving / parking or bus costs more than the present then that is bonkers (all depends on circumstances of course ) .

My DCs are much older now, but , frankly , what I remember is , they enjoyed ripping the paper off , because they felt special getting a present , and then they forgot and just wanted to play with their mates and eat cake (which they had the special job of blowing out candles therefrom ) . After the party they looked at the presents but I can honestly say I never heard mine at that age comparing present value vs friends. Really not .

I'm probably old-fashioned . Will check with them and report back.

I would never buy crap that breaks, but that does not mean you cannot buy cheaply. It just takes effort etc. I get the op is broke and was short notice but I do think its advisable to buy a few bits during the year when they are on offer. Or have a few packs of colours and plasticine Etc handy.

Wheresmycaffinedrip... I think you are a bit dramatic in saying you would not have the space... I am not on about buying a massive array of toys Etc just a few bits so as not to be left fretting down the line.
Think it's expected when you have kids they Will be invited to some parties.....

Anyway my view is I personally would not send a box of malteasers.

Why don't you give one of the gifts you have left over since Christmas 20 years ago or whenever, not getting why if you have 2 presents in your home can't you gift one? What's the biggie?

We were at a party recently and the 5 year old's favourite present was a box of maltesers. As kids we always got a box of Matchmakers chocolates and we were always so pleased to get them, I remember enjoying them more than what toys I got!

Hope they enjoy their parties and I'm sure the birthday children will enjoy their maltesers.

Molehillmountain - Brilliant post.

(not read all messages)

Not at all, we invite children DS is friends with to any of his parties for them all to have a good time together.

He would be delighted with a box of malteasers

When we are short and needed a quick prezzie, my girls put together a "loot" box - a freddo frog, a flump, a chomp, and a couple of mini haribo bags - put in a cardboard box turned inside out and painted with the child's name and patterns on it - has never been complained about, usually get "what a fab idea" or "mmmmmmm might have that myself later" lol

bytheway1 that is a nice present as its thought and effort!!

Can I just point out the op refers to the present as crap herself ....

I just don't see how coloured pens and plasticine that you bought six months ago is more thoughtful than some chocolates.

I think the OP said crap because she was worried and self-conscious.

ZignZag

I think your idea of picking up bargains as and when is very sensible and not mutually exclusive with the odd box of maltesers as a present . And actually the fact there are differing opinions about this means that most children who have a party will not end up with all the same presents (which will please them )

(removes fence splinter from arse)

I'm getting old aren't I - can see both sides of the argument. What heartens me is that people can be bothered to ask / comment which says to me that people actually care , whatever their eventual decision.

Exits to live and let live oblivion

or vice versa

Yourhand - yes! to Matchmakers - they were the height of luxury for us and to get a whole packet would have been amazing!

I'm really not kidding when I say I have no space!!! We live in a small house there r four of us including a rampaging toddler. Plus I'd rather find out what the kid likes first. No good having a stash of horrid henery books if he stopped reading them six months before, and no good handing out the Barbie if the girl has loads already. I'd much rather buy as I need than have a stash of unusable gifts taking up space gathering dust under permanent threat of discovery. But that's just me.

I want my own box of Matchmakers now. Harumph.

I always get presents for parties at the pound shop. There are some good things there;
A kite that actually flies
Fake hammas beads kits
bubbles
Joke glasses
plastic tat jewellery
Plastic fake kitchen food
Cookie cutters
Plasticine kits
Craft sets
Flashy light lazer thingies.

Ok so tat but who cares; its the thought that counts.

DH is at the supermarket now and I'm seriously considering texting him to say get Matchmakers! Or Maltesers.