Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Son's wife and my grandchild

999 replies

Frenchspeak · 16/01/2013 20:36

Hello
Have changed my name to protect privacy, I apologise in advance as this might be very long and rambling. Basically I want to get some views from you to help me sort this issue

The issue is that I feel pushed out of my son?s life. I get on ok with his wife but i have always found her difficult and this has been made worse since they had a child.

When she first had the baby they requested only 2 visitors at a time. I can understand that they didn?t want to be overwhelmed with guests but feel parents and siblings are different. I wanted to see the baby with my husband and other son. This meant that my other sons girlfriend needed to come as well. So there would have been 4 of us. My son stated to please stick to what was originally said. We did do this but I feel resentful that I didn?t agree to it first of all, and that I couldn?t see my boys all together. I know this may sound silly, but i wanted to take photos of my husband, and both sons holding the baby.

This has come to a head because I was trying to organise a family party so everyone could see baby. My son said it seemed a nice idea but thought his wife might find it a bit full on. Surprise surprise, she doesn?t think she?s up to it and wants to have time just the 3 of them. I suggested she might want to just come for a couple of hours and then go home to rest. But she said she?d be taking the baby home with her. She seems to forget that we are her child?s family and need to be included.

I have tried talking to my son about it and he understands. But things just stay the same and it is very frustrating.

OP posts:
Sugarice · 17/01/2013 06:45

Christ on a bike!

926 messages in less than 12 hours; good work OP Grin.

CaptChaos · 17/01/2013 06:49

OP, you sound so like my mother it's positively spooky. I am going to say to you what I wish I could say to her.

Go and take your face out for a shit, then fuck off. When you get there, fuck off some more.

I hope that, if this isn't the wind up I think it might be, that your DiL sets the fucking wolf on you Smile

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 17/01/2013 06:51

This thread was only about 150 posts when I went to bed Shock It's taken me almost half an hour to skim read the rest of it!

OP, you are still being unreasonable, about everything

VikingVagine · 17/01/2013 06:53
Biscuit
JusticeCrab · 17/01/2013 07:02

I have several questions for the OP.

  1. Please describe the size of the dog's jowls, and also what the dog's breath smells like.

2a) Are your DS and DIL planning to stagger the number of people allowed in their baby's presence, from 2 up to 3 at some point and then up to 4 or 5? If so, at what times are they planning to do it?

2b) Please draw a graph with number of people as the y axis and age of baby as the x axis, and show the formula of the line of best fit.

2c) Use this line of best fit to find x if y = 6.2.

  1. If your DIL does agree to have a party, or a 'do' as we say in dialect, will it be a DIL-do?
passthetequila · 17/01/2013 07:09

Wow, read this at 10.30 last night and am now going to be late for work because I have to read the rest of the thread!

StairsInTheNight · 17/01/2013 07:20

this has wolef paw prints all over it. Very nicely done.

forgetmenots · 17/01/2013 07:23

MN bingo - someone should have called 'house' a while back!

jumpingjackhash · 17/01/2013 07:23

Read through this whole thread this morning, this HAS to be a wind-up?! Surely no one could really be this much of a cow to her son's new family?!

Own up OP!

pigletmania · 17/01/2013 07:26

Well I don't think it's a wind up, reading some of te posts on Aibu about mothers/mil, this can well happen and teir are people out teir like it. It's nt far fetched at all

passthetequila · 17/01/2013 07:27

Just a thought OP, apologies if this has already been mentioned, I bet that 'your sons wife' didn't let you choose the name for 'your grandchild' did she? I expect there was a family tradition that she has ignored in favour of some name that you don't like.

LondonKitty · 17/01/2013 07:29

Thank you Tortoiseonthehalfshell!!!

A wicked story. Definitely the sort of thing that makes other MILs seem more human. Probably a service to them really...

Matildaduck · 17/01/2013 07:33

Sadly probably not a wind up, mines just like op. They also didn't want us to be together, not right for each other etc. They had to be reminded that they are not in charge, have no say, are not the parents anymore. we are grown adults.

They do dominate their own daughters life. She lets lets them fool.

They get a quick visit once a fortnight. That's your future OP.

Sugarice · 17/01/2013 07:42

I've just re-read the previous page, this cannot be a real life anguished Granny! Grin

The replies from French are almost robotic, there's no emotion or feeling at all.

Fifi782005 · 17/01/2013 07:45

Are you my mil ???
Be warned French , this was exactly how my mil behaved when we had our little one . My DH made the desision to cut her out of our lives when our son was 10 weeks old !! My DH had a poor childhood and adult relationship with his mother and after offering contact with our son it became apparent quite quickly she would not agree to the contact on our terms even refusing to hand my new born son back to me when he was crying causing lots of conflict something we will not have happen around our son !
We have not seen her for nearly 3 years and she is currently taking us to court for contact with our son but as we made the desision to cut all contact at an early age my mil has not got a relationship to protect so the courts are not recommending anything other than indirect contact . Is this what you want to end up with ?????
I really had the mil from hell and the way to deal with that ?! Cut her out of our lives'!!!!! Think about what you are doing to you son and his wife

5madthings · 17/01/2013 07:49

Oh its still here! I do hope the op comes back and updates.

is enjoying the madness far toi much, now does anyone have any matchsticks to help me keep my eyes open after this thread kept me up till 2am

CheCazzo · 17/01/2013 07:49

The replies from French are almost robotic, there's no emotion or feeling at all

That. ^

And seriously - IF this is the work of a name changed regular and despite the fact that some obviously find it amusing - is this kind of thing really on? Are we not entitled to expect the subject matter in MN threads to be true - unless they are obviously the work of the hairy-handed? Seems odd to me - people invest real time and emotion in replying and the idea that some self-appointed board 'wit' is sniggering in the background is a little distasteful.

forgetmenots · 17/01/2013 07:51

I don't think it's a windup either (she sounds just like my MIL, who we don't see any more). But she is pressing all the buttons and not listening to actual help, so I call house and I'm out!

diddl · 17/01/2013 07:52

38 pages.

I just can´t wade through it.

Shame as I love to MIL bash as much as the next

Is this real?

Any change of stance from OP.

Makes me actually want to stop being so off with my MILShock

ssd · 17/01/2013 08:00

Hello Frenchspeak. I just wanted to thank you. I have 2 boys and have wondered about how to avoid being an awful MIL. You have shown me what to avoid doing. So thanks.

PacificDogwood · 17/01/2013 08:02

OMG.
This fred is still standing.

I am now hoping this is a wind-up, even though I'd be a bit HmmAngry if it was.

ledkr · 17/01/2013 08:02

I knew it was a wind up before midnight last night. I could tell by the way she replied to individual posters. She ignored anything inflammatory and just stated facts. I also think she was giving us clues with saying the dig was like a king. Don't know why but she pushed the comment too much.

5madthings · 17/01/2013 08:03

Yes ssd i agree its the perfect guide on how NOT to behave when yoi are a mil!

flow4 · 17/01/2013 08:04

Oh bloody hell, now I'm going to be late for work!

LondonKitty · 17/01/2013 08:04

diddl there's a summary on page 37.