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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Son's wife and my grandchild

999 replies

Frenchspeak · 16/01/2013 20:36

Hello
Have changed my name to protect privacy, I apologise in advance as this might be very long and rambling. Basically I want to get some views from you to help me sort this issue

The issue is that I feel pushed out of my son?s life. I get on ok with his wife but i have always found her difficult and this has been made worse since they had a child.

When she first had the baby they requested only 2 visitors at a time. I can understand that they didn?t want to be overwhelmed with guests but feel parents and siblings are different. I wanted to see the baby with my husband and other son. This meant that my other sons girlfriend needed to come as well. So there would have been 4 of us. My son stated to please stick to what was originally said. We did do this but I feel resentful that I didn?t agree to it first of all, and that I couldn?t see my boys all together. I know this may sound silly, but i wanted to take photos of my husband, and both sons holding the baby.

This has come to a head because I was trying to organise a family party so everyone could see baby. My son said it seemed a nice idea but thought his wife might find it a bit full on. Surprise surprise, she doesn?t think she?s up to it and wants to have time just the 3 of them. I suggested she might want to just come for a couple of hours and then go home to rest. But she said she?d be taking the baby home with her. She seems to forget that we are her child?s family and need to be included.

I have tried talking to my son about it and he understands. But things just stay the same and it is very frustrating.

OP posts:
Bobyan · 17/01/2013 00:47

Lmfao at the tenacity of a dog who lounges!!

elizaregina · 17/01/2013 00:47

so what most dogs are treated well - why dont you like dogs op?

are they .....filthy....?

Lollydaydream · 17/01/2013 00:47

clearly the dog should be doing the dishes

Catchingmockingbirds · 17/01/2013 00:47

Dogs can sense evil...

Frenchspeak · 17/01/2013 00:47

Hello Bobyan. He is always hanging about. But d-i-l will not have a word said against him.

OP posts:
5madthings · 17/01/2013 00:48

Give up on the dog bashing, you do not like the dog, we get it.

God i am not a dog fan but i feel sorry for this one if it even exists

ReneandGeorgetteMagritte · 17/01/2013 00:48

My son didn't agree with that but siad they would give it a trial. Been that way ever since.

Maybe the trial worked?

It's plainly obvious you disapprove of your DIL in so many ways that I don't think there is a resolution.

I would hate you if you were my MIL. It will probably cause arguments if you persist in demanding from 'your son' that you are treated 'fairly'. Is this what you want for your son and his family? Do you want to drive a wedge between them?

Or, it will drive a wedge between them and you

Frenchspeak · 17/01/2013 00:48

Hello elizaregina. Of course he should be treated well. Would not harm him, but he is lazy yet always gets a cuddle.

OP posts:
PickledApples · 17/01/2013 00:48

Get that pole out of your backside OP and beat some manners into that bloody dog with it, eh - who does he think he is?!

LineRunner · 17/01/2013 00:48

Is he called Rex?

NorthernLurker · 17/01/2013 00:49

Curse that dog. He must have got that from the dil. I bet she never moves off the sofa does she OP?

Speaking of which I hope HER mum is on mumsnet too. She'll be chainging herself to aformentioned sofa rather than leave dil alone so you can have a 'chat'.

Have you seen The Godfather OP?

EverybodyisdeadDave · 17/01/2013 00:49

Frenchspeak - what exactly are you going to speak to your son about, what are you going to say? What is it you want to say?

Bobyan · 17/01/2013 00:49

Wow I got a response, just need 5 more to take the lead...

Woof

Frenchspeak · 17/01/2013 00:50

Hello again ReneandGeorgetteMagritte. That is why I want to get this issue sorted. We had problems before and my son made it clear he will stand by his wife even if he disagrees.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 17/01/2013 00:50

I have a compelling urge to put out an all systems broadcast to the possibly nonexistent DIL.
"FFS she coming round! Planning to corner you on your own! Lock all the doors and barricade the windows!"

elizaregina · 17/01/2013 00:50

so the dog is crouching on a lampshade hanging from the ceiling? like scooby doo when the naughty ghosts appear....

why dont you like dogs op - are they dirty? are they too dirty for you and you dont like the thought of the dirty dog near the baby?

Lollydaydream · 17/01/2013 00:50

please tell us what tasks a dog should be doing to avoid being seen as lazy. please!

LineRunner · 17/01/2013 00:50

I don't see why you can't apologise to your DIL in front of her mother.

Frenchspeak · 17/01/2013 00:51

Hello NorthernLurker. Her mum can definitely be a bit of a 'lioness' so I will tread carefully. My son has warned me about it.

OP posts:
PickledApples · 17/01/2013 00:51

I bet the prodigalother son's GF only ever kept gold fish. Or ponies. Or gold ponies.

dreamingbohemian · 17/01/2013 00:51

Oh come on, this is totally Hully

She even had a practice run earlier on the wedding thread

Magnificent work though Wink

5madthings · 17/01/2013 00:51

I was about ti ask the same lolly

Bobyan · 17/01/2013 00:51

Does the dog dry hump your leg op? Is that the problem?

LineRunner · 17/01/2013 00:51

I think your son was probably warning you to keep your trap shut.

Frenchspeak · 17/01/2013 00:52

Hello Lollydaydream. He should be out in the garden with his chews. Not in the living room sitting around.

OP posts: