Son's wife and my grandchild

[Frenchspeak]

Hello
Have changed my name to protect privacy, I apologise in advance as this might be very long and rambling. Basically I want to get some views from you to help me sort this issue

The issue is that I feel pushed out of my son?s life. I get on ok with his wife but i have always found her difficult and this has been made worse since they had a child.

When she first had the baby they requested only 2 visitors at a time. I can understand that they didn?t want to be overwhelmed with guests but feel parents and siblings are different. I wanted to see the baby with my husband and other son. This meant that my other sons girlfriend needed to come as well. So there would have been 4 of us. My son stated to please stick to what was originally said. We did do this but I feel resentful that I didn?t agree to it first of all, and that I couldn?t see my boys all together. I know this may sound silly, but i wanted to take photos of my husband, and both sons holding the baby.

This has come to a head because I was trying to organise a family party so everyone could see baby. My son said it seemed a nice idea but thought his wife might find it a bit full on. Surprise surprise, she doesn?t think she?s up to it and wants to have time just the 3 of them. I suggested she might want to just come for a couple of hours and then go home to rest. But she said she?d be taking the baby home with her. She seems to forget that we are her child?s family and need to be included.

I have tried talking to my son about it and he understands. But things just stay the same and it is very frustrating.

Go to ToysRArse and buy a Baby Annabel.
That's what Lilly did.

Also, I can confirm that this is not a wind up. If it was, I would have left you all to it and come back in the morning. Up to you whether you believe that, but I'm not winding you up.

French, if you want a succesful relationship with your DIL Son and Grandchild, learn to kiss butt.
Don't mention
the dog,
her being shy,
wanting the baby without the Mum,
how much you like the other almost DIL better.
Call your son and tell him you'll cook one night (pick a night) and don't go there to cook, just take the food around already prepared and drop it off.
You can collect the dirties the next day.
Let them know you aren't going to push things, and you will be respectful of the new Mum and her time with her new baby.
If you keep all this wanting to be in charge and organize, you will find yourself cut off and not see any of them.

'Our views''

Jesus, how Orwelian.

Aaah. Does she believe in slings and other such modern stuff?

Does she have political views?

Does she think your son can iron his own shirts?

I really cannot believe this is not a wind up but will assume you are genuine.

If you carry on the way you are behaving you will drive your son and granchild away and your shy dil is not a pushover.

I think you possibly get on better with your other son's girlfriend better because they live further away from you (for a reason!) After 6 years she has not married your son....wonder why, I wish I had taken a long hard look at my mother in law before deciding to get married - perhaps she is a wiser woman than me.

Get some friends, get some hobbies (get some therapy) or you are going to cause serious damage here as you are WRONG on every level.

If this is not a wind up, you are a nightmare MIL.

When my Sister had her children her MIL was nearly as bad as you but I doubt anyone could be quite so barking mad as you are.

The result - she was cut out of their lives. My Nieces and Nephews are now adults and there has been no contact for years.

Be warned, OP, this will happen to you too and rightly so.

What happens to your perfect family when you have no contact from your DS, DIL or grandchild?

think your son can iron his own shirts - italic fail.

Your son chose to marry and have a family with your DIL so yes he probably will agree with her.

Hello Salmotrutta. Yes she does have some political views and on the royal family. To be fair she does iron my sons shirts.

I am sure your son is capable of speaking up for himself. Heaven forbid someone may hold a different view to you and your family...

Would you care to elaborate in these differe views?

If she's chatty with everyone else then it's fairly obvious she's not that keen on you.

400 posts should really give you a wee clue as to why.

Hth

NoWay, my Dh is hooked now

And to think I still bear a grudge for my MIL telling me I "looked a mess" and should make more effort, 2 days post-partum (supperating episiotomy, faecal incontinence, still catheterised, oh, and the small matter of a fucking preemie in SCBU, ffs). And breathe.

Hello once again 5madthings. Regarding politics, royal family etc. She also enjoys watching these celebrity television programmes and the like.

Why do I get the feeling you want your dil to be the diligent little wife who goes along with whatever you and your family want.

We aren't in the 1950'anymore thankfully.

OP, if you (and some of your family) hold views that are different to those of your dil, then tbh if she is a bit quiet around you then that's her kind of coming up with a solution to it, isn't it?

Would you or your family members consider being a bit quiet around her when she expresses her views?

I mean, if you just hold different views, then it's either that or an argument, isn't it.

:o

Too far OP.

Does she turn her nose up at your Charles and Camilla matching mugs? :o

Hahahaha!

Does she want a republic?

Is Big Dave not to her liking?

At this age my children were mainly attached to a breast, asleep or screaming. They really weren't party people. If the extended family want to see the baby they should contact the baby's parents. If they don't want to do this then they probably aren't that bothered.

Zombie has it.

This is the Bunfight thread made "real".

So she's a perfectly happy, confident, chatty woman who is silent around you because she is outnumbered. Gosh, that's a surprise.

What political views? And I don't watch celebrity shows myself but each to their own ey? Not exactly reason not to like someone. And let's be honest, you don't like your dil.