AIBU to breastfeed in a restaurant?

[lovetomoan]

DH says I am, that people are paying to eat and not to see my breast. AIBU or is he BU?

Hes being U. Us adults wouldnt eat in a toilet, so why make a baby do it, the child has to eat, the mum has the milk, i dont care if a woman is breastfeeding near me, baby is eating, people who expect women not to are idiots, who think women should be locked away til baby stops, jeez, some people are ignorant.

He IBU. Your baby NEEDS to feed, no one else NEEDS to look at you or your boobs. I always think of this as my confident reply to anyone who might challenge me breastfeeding but I have never had to use it.

I feed whenever and wherever my baby needs to rather than have him scream. The only place I ever ask if it's OK for me to feed is if I am in someone else's house, again it's never an issue.

I've fed everywhere from planes to the cake aisle in asda (rather than abandoning a full trolley). Even at a friends wedding where an admittedly tipsy friend took loads of photos of me before I pointed out I was in the middle of feeding and could he wait till I looked my intended glamorous best -had checked myself for baby puke-.

I just don't think people really either notice or care and it does a disservice to other especially less confident BF Mums and babies to imply it's not OK. Or that someone's discomfort when unable to draw their eye from your chest is more important than someone else's comfort (and nutrition).

YANBU. I'm not for whipping it out but if done discreetly no one will ever know (or care!) I bottle fed and had no problem though when I wanted to eat...that was what dh was for :)

DH has seen this thread, did not like some of the words used towards him.
And I wanted to make clear he did not mind feeding in 'public' but not in a restaurant, because some people find it offensive (he comes from a culture where breastfeeding in public was not accepted before).

However, he now agrees that babies should be fed anywhere when then are hungry.

And I believe babies should not be fed in the toilet (DH never suggested that) because no one would like to eat in the toilet. People in the restaurant smiled at me and the baby.

I did not understand the difference between 'discreet' feeding or 'showing off'.
I don't like using covers, I don't use a muslin to eat my food and I don't see why my baby should be hidden. The breast is usually covered by the baby's head. I would like to think I am not 'showing off' just feeding the baby.

I liked some of the links, the 'breast' baby hat

Thank you all for your support!

What a pig.

You should probably reassure your DH that no one really gives a rat's arse here it's very rare that someone is offended and when they are there are usually way more people telling them to bog off and get a grip.

I'm glad that you've got him onside now, it's hard to change cultural attitudes but I'm sure he'll get used to it.

EauRouge DH is English and I am the one from a culture where no one thinks once about 'offending other people' when breastfeeding, you just get the breast out and straight into the baby's mouth.
However, when I spoke about it, I have heard comments from colleages (also British) saying how disgusting they thought breastfeeding in public is and I think that is why my DH was so afraid to 'offend' other people.

My MIL says she only EBF until her babies were 3 months old for the same reason. But that was many years ago.

I think you've been been unlucky then! There was a survey a while back and it said only 16% of people don't like BF in public. I've certainly never had any problems and have on occasion BF my 4yo in public.

when ds1 was very little, just weeks old I was at a Union Conference with DH and sat at the back to breastfeed, the chair announced from the stage that there was a new arrival, offering congratulations for the youngest attendee at the back and the whole conference turned to look

I was feeding ds at a family pub lunch recently, and one of dh's relatives who was sitting opposite me chatting to me asked me in conversation if he was breastfed - I was actually breastfeeding him at the time! But obviously his head would've been in the way of her seeing any boob, so to anyone else, it just looked like he was having a cuddle.

Yanbu.

We were at a wedding reception a few months back - the official photographer came round and took a photo of us while I was breastfeeding DD - didn't give me chance to button up etc.
The happy couple then sent us the prints of the photo - and unless you knew I was feeding her, there is no way you could tell

Depends.

If i had got mine out you'd have had to clear the table first!

Yanbu! Your baby has a right to eat when and where he/she is hungry. If anyone had a problem with that its their problem! How would a baby eating put anyone off their food? Tell partner to be more supportive.

YANBU