To get angry if DW leaves her job without real consultation

[Seekingthezone]

Found out the night before it was going to happen anyway that DW had negotiated her exit.

She had moaned for a couple of years about the job and people and I offered support during that time but
when it came to the crunch I was not consulted and left as sole earner whilst we do depend on both incomes to maintain the current lifestyle.

It was presented as a done deal and I was told by her that she did well to get what she got blah blah.

God, I thought this was my DH posting about me as this is the exact situation that I am in (apart from the sex bit. Can't get enough of it).

I have been made thoroughly miserable by my job for the past 2 years and it reached the stage where it was untenable and unprofessional for me to continue. I worked full time, ran the entire household and did the housework till 10 pm every night whilst DH lounged about reading a book or searching for new golf clubs on his ipad.

After 6 months of a near mental breakdown I finally cracked in the summer and quit. My last day is tomorrow. I do not have a new job to go to.

DH earns quite enough thank you very much but is constantly saying "we can't afford it, we haven't got any money" despite spending £5,000 on golf over the past 3 years whilst constantly moaning that he's crap at golf.

We have a good relationship and whilst the above appears a rant, we actually laugh about it and take the piss out of each other. We have a strong relationship and I'm glad that my own DH is supportive of my decision to finally end my career and focus on my two DCs.

OP, get over yourself and unload the bloody dishwasher.

You know OP, other than saying she was unhappy for 18m in her job, you never once mention how your DW feels about any of this. Is this because you simply don't know? In a normal relationship both partners try to understand what the other is feeling and reassure / help out / work as a team to fix emotional issues as well as practical work issues. Somehow that really isn't coming across either about you or your marriage.

SF, that is an incredibly goading post.

I haven't looked up any other threads, but he's got another live one in Relationships and quite a few savvy posters have suspicions he's having an affair and is starting threads about how crap his wife is to justify shitting on her from a great height. He won't answer any questions about whether he's got another woman on the go and instead is frothing with faux indignation that any woman one has got the gall to question his motives.

I really don't 'get' this thing about treating two active threads in complete isolation and pretending that the attitudes expressed in one have no relevance to the other. Glad that some posters have picked up on this poster's language about his wife and their relationship; just amazed that more haven't spotted it.

'SF, that is an incredibly goading post.'

Do you want to point out which part of my previous post was untrue?

People were advising the OP. You turn up, inform everybody that they should check out his history, your mates turn up and lay into him as well.

Like I said, want to point out which part of my post was untrue?

Pot calling kettle? Ever so slightly?

Sf I think the history is relivent. Btw not following anyfucker, if you look I was the second reply.

I think you will find SF that AF only asked the question about when this all happened when she 'turned up' on the thread. The thread turned on the OP before AF suggested searching his name. It was his tone that was pissing me off.

BadLad I don't think every man on here looking for input about relationships is an arsehole. Far from it. DO you think the OP sounds like he is interested in knowing his DW's POV or what I suggested?

Well, apologies if I misread you, but when you said "Coming on to AIBU to talk about your DW? Paint me cynical." you sounded to me to be inclined to think that any man asking for relationship was indeed looking for "ammo to fight his DW, because he likes to goad women, because he wants to say we are all sexist, because he is good and patronising".

Well BadLad that is true. I would probably start a teeny tiny bit cynical of any post by a H about a W on AIBU that was critical of the W. But I'm quite cynical anyway . I have seen (and I'm sure you have) a few threads by men which have been there because they know their DW uses MN and they want to plead their case or get MN to agree with them. However, you did edit the first, 'charitable" bit.

SF, you seem to be working on the assumption that I have a special and rather dark influence over other mumsnetters.

I do think that sometimes AF, yes. My own personal opinion obviously.

Could you tell me how to harness it then because I could do with lots of mumsnetters sending me all their money

Cheers

SF we all dance to our own tune be it like Pavlov's fucking dogs or not. I am sure if Seekingthezone has followed MN before, he knows the atmosphere in AIBU can be a little bracing.

The thing is with these sexist, entitled men like the OP who consider that women should be obedient and respectful, and that their feelings and opinions are completely unimportant, is that they don't half shit their bollocks when intelligent women treat them as human beings rather than deities, call them on their idiocy and refuse to let them get away with acting like arseholes. We're doing this knob a service all right by educating him.

SolidGold - everytime I read your posts, you're snarling at people. It's really disconcerting. Has anyone mentioned this before?

AF -

I did the same thing on DH. I hated my job and was not coping. DH was not supportive of me leaving without another job, and I tried for other jobs, but in the end handed in my notice and told him after.

That's not strictly true actually Sigmund - I've seen SGB be compassionate and kind and funny. She's just forthright is all

SF, the only time I see you post is to have a go at the female posters who refuse to apologise for nor accept the shit attitudes and behaviour of men.

Yeah, and what she said

SS < adopts woo tone > send me all your moneyyyyy

Just PM me your account number and sort code, and your security info, and I'll be right on it

Will do

erm...