To make it my mission to teach this little girl to read?

[Seekingadvice13]

I'm a regular poster but have name changed just in case for this.

My mum has recently started looking after the dd of a woman who lives near her and she knows a bit, wouldn't exactly call her a friend. She's going to be having her two evenings a week when the dd goes back to school, as the mother has found herself a job and has nowhere to send the dd on those nights- she's been unemployed for a while now so my mum wants to help her try and hold down a job as much as possible. We don't knowing about the mother but its not an ideal family set up, just the two of them and social services have been involved in the past. I'm living with my mum ATM for various reasons, I also can't work ATM so I have and will be seeing the dd fairly regularly.

We've had her over quite a bit since Christmas, and I discovered a few days ago that she can't read. She's 7, in year 3, and she doesn't seem to have a clue. I don't have my own Dcs yet so i don't have anything to compare to yet but surely not being able even sound out short words aged 7 isn't good? My mum mentioned it briefly to the mother, she is aware but basically said her dd is just "thick" and can't learn, end of. I don't get the impression she's helping at home at all.

She's not thick, you can tell that much from spending time for her. She just can't read.

The mother's English isn't brilliant, she speaks to the dd in Albanian, they also speak another obscure language at home. The DDs spoken English is perfect though, no issues there.

Clearly the mother isn't going to do anything, would it be completely overstepping the mark to attempt and teach the dd to read when she's round here? I don't really know what I'm doing, going to have to do some research, but I refuse to believe she's just "thick" and deserves to be written off. Or is this interfering?

I teach children to read, mainly children with problems like dyslexia.

I'd advise just to read to her. Read as much as you can even if it means reading the same stories over. Repetition is a brilliant way to learn. Fostering a love of books is half the battle when a child struggles.

As a teacher, there's absolutely nothing wrong with supporting the child's reading. EAL isn't necessarily a problem either, won't go into a huge explanation in language development, but if she's fluent enough in her first language & you say she's fluent in English then I don't think that would be where the difficulties stem from (and as she's 7 it's not the same issues as say a two year old acquiring English as an additional language).

If the mum isn't very fluent in English and dismisses her daughter as thick and doesn't see the point of homework, then barring any dyslexia or other difficulties, that might be where the problem lies. Maybe the mum would be more than happy for you to do her reading homework, look over her phonics etc with her? Agree that it would be good if you are able to find out what the school is doing, is she getting any extra support, is she progressing at all? In the meantime lots of reading nice stories (Julia Donaldson, Dr Seuss & such) discussing them, seeing of she identifies any letters (eg ones in her name) is all good.

I think it a lovely idea seeking and the little girl will definitely benefit from being able to read and some positive adult attention while doing so. I personally don't think you are over stepping the mark at all, when she is at your house you would be playing some games, cooking...so why not read with her! I wouldn't tell her that you are going to teach her to read, just start reading some simple books with her over several weeks and I am sure she will start picking up on letter sounds etc. Maybe take her to the library one evening and she would be able to choose her own books and help raise her interest in books. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

I've got to say this.

Never mind the details surrounding why the girl is struggling with her reading, the OP is just asking if she's BU to try to help the girl along. Comments about whether the girl has SEN, throwing yourselves at how the OP was worded and casting aspersions over a situation none of you are as close to as the OP is not helpful.

OP, I would say if it's simply that the kid needs help with reading English, go for it. I don't see how any method could be harmful. I have no qualifications whatsoever in education, but a school snapped my hand off when I volunteered to be a reading partner for kids. I imagine every little helps.

Tye best way to encourage a child to read (notice, encourage, not necessarily teach) is to read books with them.
all kinds of books, on all subjects, whenever you can.

even if the child is dyslexic, she will benefit in all sorts of ways by being read to.

OP, I suggest that's what you do.

boomer - I don't know about anyone else, but I assumed the OP was asking whether she should do this because she wanted helpful responses. I think people have been trying to help by suggesting things that may be issues, or that occurred to them from what she said.

As far as I can see she's responding to it and it's becoming clear she knows a lot about this child and cares a lot.

Why do you get to decide which responses are 'helpful' and which are not?

She loves dancing, I was thinking of some of the Angelina Ballerina books or similar to read to her, I'm going to have a look at some of those. She'd love ballet shoes but in terms of something I can read to her with her beginning to recognise words that's probably too ambitious- we'll build up to that.

She's also a bit of a doctor who obsessive, I have a friend with a day slightly older who loves the doctor who adventures books which go alongside the series, but again, too complicated for now I think. The issue is going to be finding something to read to her that appeals to her.

Bonbon thanks so much, I'll add those authors to my list to have a look at :)

She can recognise the shortened anglicised version of her name but not the long version, she was telling me she couldn't find her peg at the start of the year because her teacher put the long version on the name tag :(

Ohhhh lawsey she would absolutely love that, right up her street :) even if its too advanced now we can build up. Congratulations to you too, love the idea of it being a play, breaks the text up nicely :)

I think what you want to do is great and I would want to help in the same position too. Many years ago I was a parent helper with Year 1 reading and I really enjoyed it. I really wanted to get more involved - they literally had 5 minutes each with me whereas if that could even been extended to 10 minutes sometimes I think it would have really helped. It was frustrating in a way following the teaching methods at the time while I'd successfully taught my DS to read using various methods - always keeping it fun and interesting. Key will be getting the little girl hooked on books and stories. If you can find any funny ones that would be great. At 7 if there are no underlying difficulties I think she'll lap it up. I think it's amazing what you could do for her - fostering a life long interest in books would be a gift.

I'd she cannot read at all then I would suggest going right back to basics and getting the apples and pears work books from sound foundations (4 books in total) they are a workbook for the child/rent and teachers book for you as the teacher.
Very easy to use and the best IMO and I have tried em All! :)
Good luck x

Also make sure she is a member of your local library!

Wow, Seekingadvice13 you really have had a bit of a flaming! (And lost of posters just don't seem to have read the OP properly).

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 03-Jan-13 14:40:51: "there are shedloads of academics who think two languages help the brain with reading. But it's also acknowledged that having two languages can make you slower initially."

I agree with this.

There could be lots of reasons why this little girl can't read, though. If you want to help her with her home work and read to her lots, fine.

If she's been attending school regularly, from the age of four and is still unable to sound out short words, then I would guess there is another reason this girl can't read, and you need to be throwing the right kind of mud at the wall for it to stick. I don't think it would be overstepping the mark to teach the child to read (if that's what she wanted to do after a full day of school) but please don't get disheartened if your attempts don't have immediate results.

Personally I would read to her and help her enjoy a variety of books.

Oh, yes, I agree, there could be loads of reasons! Sorry, was only responding to birds who suggested having two languages shouldn't be a problem ultimately.

I guess I was thinking, if she's learned to read Albanian, the letter-sound correspondences will be all a bit different, and if she's learned to read the other language in a different orthography, the letter shapes will even be different - and ideally, I guess, the OP would know the basics about those languages. But that sounds pretty complicated so only a vague idea.

I am sure she will love being read to and will hopefully respond really well.

Seeking - I think you are doing a lovely thing. I wouldn't discuss it with the mother, I'd just do it. The last thing you want is the mother getting the hump and deciding to cut you and your Mum out of their lives. It's not like you're going against their beliefs or anything, just helping her DD.

I would actually do the pick ups at school and get to know the TA's & Teacher. Most of them are very helpful with children who are struggling and there's no confidentiality issues if you are just asking for suggestions on reading books and methods etc. Most schools run 'helping your child learn to read' type sessions and they might have some spare copies of the stuff they hand out.

Playing games (such as snap, memory etc) all help, especially if they have words as well as pictures. Whatever she enjoys doing, will help her a lot. If she likes baking - beg/buy/borrow a childrens cook book, help her to read what she needs etc

Anything you read to her will help. Personally I'd get a mixture of 'easy' books for her to read and a couple of 'chapter' books for you to read to her.

She's lucky to have you and your Mum :)

I think you should do whatever you can to help. Good on you.

Op I think it's a lovely idea-ignore the neg comments. I was a teacher pre kids and one of the things that had the biggest impact on achievement was parental involvement at home.Obviously you're not her parent but doing things with her will help her. Any help at home is a bonus.

Just 2 things to avoid.Don't teach her to write in capitals and if you teach her her sounds make sure they're correct.

Go on the primary education forum and ask for Mrz. She/he is very up to date and will have loads of sites to recommend re phonics.

Go to your library and check out some early reader/scheme books.Get a selection to see what her ability is,start quite basic.Complement these with lovely books you read to her.

If you have access to her school book bag it would be a great help.You could ask her mum if you could help her with her school homework.

DS1 did struggle with reading and he loved being read too so I would second that. He's 9 and can read well now (after quite a lot of intervention by the school and at home) but he still wants me to read to him (we are working our way through the Harry Potter books now).

One practical thought, do you know if anyone has checked her eyesight? Not only does DS1 have suspected dyslexia but he also needed glasses and that helped with his reading too. DS2 has a strong prescription but luckily we got his eyes tested when he was 4 so it isn't affecting his reading (although he seems to have similar problems to DS1)

Both of my children are also bilingual in English and another language that has a completely different alphabet (Arabic).

What a lovely idea - if you have the patience to keep it up for a long enough period.
I taught both my DCs to read. With DC1 the (newly qualified) reception teacher basically told me that she could barely read at all by the end of reception because she was thick. So I taught her to read over the summer holiday. She didn't find it easy and it was hard work - we read loads of books every day, and it wasn't her favourite activity. But when she went into Y1 she could read and shot from near the bottom to near the top of the class. She soon became the best reader in the class. It had a huge effect on her self confidence.
So it is possible to do it without teacher involvement assuming there are no SNs. But you should start off by teaching yourself phonics (as currently used). You then help the child spell out the words using the phonic sounds. Most of it is common sense.
I would ask the mother's permission first, though, or she may feel that you are interfering and stop you from helping. Obviously you can do this tactfully.
Reading to the child and playing games with her would also help her educationally. Also just chatting with her.

My mum has her for the evening tonight so I'll ask her if she can read any Albanian. LRD I get what you're saying, same letters but very different sounds could well be confusing her.

With the other language- I have a couple of small tattoos of words in it and she knew what they said, but because they're symbols rather than words made up of letters it's a completely different ballgame, it's possible to memorise a few symbols but not have a clue how to read it IYSWIM. So it could be that she can't read at all in any language.

chipping now I'm not working for the moment I'll probably be picking her up from school so I'll ask, good suggestion :)

I've had a look at the doctor who books and they also have audio versions, would that be any good for her?

Can you not get your mum to suggest to the girl's mum that she do English homework on the nights she's with them? The mother may not actually be able to do the worksheets herself.

Good for you OP. Shame every struggling child can't have an interested adult to help them.