To think this is not an unreasonable request?

[Selfishsil]

I have NC as in have a feeling that SIL may actually be on here, although I hope she reads this!

SIL is 8 months pregnant, due to her age and health circumstances (high blood pressure) it has been decided to induce her early. SIL has private health care and got a choice of 2 dates, one of these dates being my mum's birthday and me and my brother have organised a party for her on that day.
So without consulting my brother she booked that day , I'm sure she did it out of spite because this is how she is. She makes it no secret her dislike for my brother's family.

Now my brother will not be able to attend my mum's birthday and this has been the first christmas and birthday without her husband and she has been finding it really hard and wanting family around her.

I'm really pissed off at my SIL and this is just one of many things she has done to upset my mum and I.

The thing is WIBU to tell my brother to come and see my mum for an hour on the day? SIL would obviously have to wait a while in hospital before she is induced and my brother could slip away then and quickly see my mum before coming back? I now my brother really wants to see mum on her birthday and is secretly a bit pissed off that SIL has done this.

Thank you if you got this far.

Why ask AIBU when you patently don't think you are?

tookuchturkey read the thread

To be honest, your brother sounds a bit of a twat too! Resenting his wife for daring to pick an induction date that gives his baby the best chance? You both sound very childish and spiteful actually.

Jesus be a grown up about this. When we get older a birthday is just another day whereas the birth of a baby, especially when there are concerns for the mothers health is a bloody big thing.

Oops classic x post.!!

Seems odd to choose that date if she hates you all so much. If she has done it to be annoying has she thought about how it is going to be with Granny and baby sharing a birthday? Everyone is going to be Oh how lovely they share a birthday. Or maybe she has done it to ruin her MIL future birthdays so people have to choose...

Please, you have no way of knowing what will happen on the day. She could go into spontaneous labour at any minute. Her BP could spike and make things move faster.

When you go into hospital to get induced, that's what you're doing for the day. No popping out, squeezing in something else, it's the birth of your child FGS.

'I don't see what's so wrong about him leaving her in hospital for an hour' -- and you wonder why she's not keen on you?

alis I don't think I'm BU which is why I asked if I was. I obviously am by the sound of the replies. I don't see why but I know I am know iyswim?

It's unreasonable for your brother to nip off if your SIL is in labor or about to be in labor and nervous or has just given birth. His first duty is with his wife.

It would however be reasonable for your BIL/SIL to ring and ask to rearrange the date though. It would be a shame to miss a big family event.

The other side of this is that it could be very exciting for everyone if you post texts to your mum through out the day keeping her updated. Quite special.

YABU

I was gutted that DS1 was due on my MIL's birthday as I knew that if he was born on that day she would forever expect joint birthday parties, special birthday trips and visits etc... It seems pretty unlikely that your SIL would deliberately want her baby to be born on her MIL's birthday if there is bad feeling.

selfishsil I did. We were obviously typing at the same time. I see your and raise you a if this is how you are to people just on Mumsnet I'm bloody glad I'm not in your family.

Having a baby is more important, prob to your mum too. .probably to most people. I feel sorry for your sil tbh. In years to come you'll prob be blaming her for timing of childs illnesses, activities etc when they don't quite suit you. .. lucky her.

justfabulous I wouldn't put it past her. This is the woman who had her hen party the evening of my father's funeral....

She probably didn't even realise the date was the birthday celebration - last thing on a heavily pregnant woman's mind.

I expect she will have to be at the hospital for 8am. If induced by drip it might only be a couple of hours.

I think the OP's attitude is unreasonable, but when friends have been induced, their husbands have been sent home unless labour is established, so the brother might have to leave the hospital (and so can go to the party) anyway.

If you are prepared to admit that you're unreasonable on this, even though you don't understand why, is it possible there are other things you have been unreasonable about with respect to your SIL?

What a lovely present for your mum - a new grandchild.

toomuchturkey thanks that's my first biscuit, I shall dunk it into my tea with pride. I apologise I thought you were just being arsey for the sake of being arsey.

You really she's having this baby on that date to spite you? Jeez, get over yourself will you? And while you are at it, tell your DB to grow up and support his DW.

It can't be that much of an emergency if the doctors have given her a choice of dates.

I think if my dil was to be induced on my birthday then I would be highly delighted - I would take it as the biggest compliment going that she wants her dc to share my birthday, possibly if the timing is correct.

You know those bratty over indulged kids......well the OP is what they grow into.

Drip...drip...drip.....