To have hid and not answered door......

[Clumsyoaf]

Aibu? 830 this morning my SILs their DHs kids etc turn up at front door.... Can see they are laden with presents but I didn't open the door. My children and I have been excluded from lunch tomorrow and I guess I'm still raging mad. On top of which my 4 yr old has been unwell overnight and here's me hair scraped back off white (ahem grey) holey pyjamas whilst they all look like something out of dynasty with their matching handbags and shoes!

So would I bu to not answer door, respond to messages etc or respond with " I'm actually rather upset that my children and I are not welcome at the lunch tomorrow so which would have meant more to us than your gifts do please don't worry about bringing them round. - clumsy."

Thanks, don't want to respond until I can think objectively and mn us great for perspective! Btw I didn't know or expect them to be coming... Completely random visit as they all descended on in laws last night from various parts of the country.

Bastards.

Lol at terry and june. I must say I am wondering if the answers from the other sisters will be as spiteful and gleeful to read as the first one.

The party saga threads all got deleted.

This is horrific behaviour.

Their loss not yours, keep telling yourself that, they do not deserve the pleasure of your children and yourself.

and in future if your DH is not around for Christmas, try to go home,

At least you know your SiL true feelings, I suspect she is jealous of the attention your children get, too much competition maybe.

I also suspect that the unannounced visit was also an attempted to keep you off kilter.

Is the nasty text from a SIL who didn't want you at Christmas lunch? If not then it might be better to let her know she was ccd just so she was aware of the in inviting. It's easier not to text back as you will want to get into point scoring. Something to just tell her to get down off her high horse, it's offensive to uninvite a close family member and dc for Christmas.

I think I'd be keeping a wide berth from all of your ILs for a while to avoid more cross words and resulting bad blood.

I wouldn't ignore that text. To do so will only confirm in the SIL's mind that she has made a great point that clumsy's got no answer for and that therefore they're all in the right.

People like that don't appreciate the subtleties of trying to remain dignified. It'll be lost on her. The war of words has begun anyway.

Say

"No I haven't told dh because I'd have to explain how you were all bitching behind my back about having us for Christmas and I don't want to upset him while he's away. I'm sure you can imagine how he'd feel about his family treating his children like that.

But I hope you all enjoy your quiet, relaxing day"

I'm sure you will have a lovely Christmas day with the kids. Your kids won't care about the presents ultimately.

I hope they dot mention it to your dh as the whole situation will be upsetting for him. I would be incredibly hurt if my family did that to my dh and kids. I'm assuming they wouldn't have dared if he was here.

I hope your dh is back soon an you can do another little Christmas celebration with him.

Answer:
The children have enough presents. They are not deprived of things.
They would be happy to be with their family, however, if they were wanted.
Not just like beggars at breakfast, lucky to have crumbles of time. And then sent away as leppers.
I haven't told DH not to spoil his Christmas.
He'll be delighted to know that his children and wife were excluded from Christmas celebrations by his own family.

but Terry and June were nice and everything always turned out in the end. Cue the theme music - back in the 70's.

Poor Clumsy. They sound horrible.

My goodness clumsy what nasty SIL you have. I am sure your dh would be angered that hs wife and kids were not welcome to the family meal. material possessions count for nothing, it's family that matters tey have their priorities totally wrong

Any update OP, how's your dc after your visit to the GP?

oh dear what they'd do if your husband phoned is mum's at dinner tomorrow expecting you to be there. Can imagine a lot of squirming going on explaining you weren't there.

No mention of you it soundalike you don't exist to them. My dh sister totally opposite, loves fami,y and children and would nt have Christmas any other way if children are not there

Yes, I remember the party threads too.
I hope you have a less stressful NY Op.

So they want te kids when it suits them to play happy families, fuck that for a game of soldiers

Oh my God read the whole thread and the other one. What bitches your SIL are and How sad that your MIL didn't tell them to do one! Hope your dc aren't too ill and that you all have a nice Christmas together. I do think you need to tell your DH what has happened asap. He can then call his sisters on their bitch behaviour!

Hope your DD is better, OP.

Your Mil reminds me of the saying

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

She may be a good person but by standing by and letting your SILs do this and in fact by calling you up and saying when can they come round she is colluding with them

You are welcome to come join me tomorrow if you are close also!

Here's the link to shiny's thread, for those who asked www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1637239-To-have-discplined-my-SILs-children-as-she-was-doing-nothing
It had occurred to me too that clumsy might be shiny's SiL...
But maybe it's just the season for wicked step-sisters SiLs... :(

I shouldn't have suggested they might be same people, I know details don't match, just that there were some striking parallels.

Has OP actually been told she isn't invited to this Xmas day meal with her DC? I thought that OP just overheard the SIL asking MIL that OP + kids not be invited. If MIL ignored that I'd put SIL down as bitchy & rise above, still go & carry on as though nothing overheard.

Not sure if I'm following it all right, though.

Op will be too busy cooking lunch for her and her 2 dc to pop over for breakfast surely?!?!
Op.. I would be livid too.
Especially the way sil is twisting it making you out to be the u reasonable one!!!
Are they threatened/jealous of your relationship with mil ?

What is it with GPs who treat their grandchildren differently?
I agree the SiLs were awful, but I'm sorry (and I speak as a grandmother myself), your PiLs were firmly in the wrong. Her only son is serving his country overseas at Christmas, and she allowed her daughters to exclude his wife and children?
I am (almost) speechless!

And your husband needs to know.