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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have hid and not answered door......

327 replies

Clumsyoaf · 24/12/2012 08:58

Aibu? 830 this morning my SILs their DHs kids etc turn up at front door.... Can see they are laden with presents but I didn't open the door. My children and I have been excluded from lunch tomorrow and I guess I'm still raging mad. On top of which my 4 yr old has been unwell overnight and here's me hair scraped back off white (ahem grey) holey pyjamas whilst they all look like something out of dynasty with their matching handbags and shoes!

So would I bu to not answer door, respond to messages etc or respond with " I'm actually rather upset that my children and I are not welcome at the lunch tomorrow so which would have meant more to us than your gifts do please don't worry about bringing them round. - clumsy."

Thanks, don't want to respond until I can think objectively and mn us great for perspective! Btw I didn't know or expect them to be coming... Completely random visit as they all descended on in laws last night from various parts of the country.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 31/12/2012 11:38

Thanks, No I haven't managed to speak to DH he is due back at base on the 3rd. He doesn't know about dd yet. Tough without him.

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 31/12/2012 11:42

Your poor DD. There is lots of good advice to be had on the allergy board. If you search the archives there will be advice on the best substitutes as it will take a wee while 'til you get into the swing of cooking gluten free. Thankfully supermarkets and restaurants are becoming much more clued up about dietary needs and gluten free substitutes are widely available. Dominos and pizza hut now even do gluten free pizza bases!

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 31/12/2012 11:47

Will be getting my head around the gluten thing, everything has gluten in it! To think all this time I've been forcing gluten into her poor little body.

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 31/12/2012 11:51

My DS is dairy allergic and I had similar guilt. The first 3 months of his life I was poisoning him :-(

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 31/12/2012 11:53

That's how i feel trixy. She's hardly eating anything at the moment just living on satsumas and ribena

OP posts:
Ilovecake1 · 31/12/2012 12:11

Thank goodness that you guys are ok...been checking every hour for an update!! I am sorry to hear about your LO...give yourself time and you will have time to read up about it properly. My LO has Crohn's disease and coeliac...among many other things! I felt the diagnosis was the turning point and things will only get better. The guilt is horrid but I promise you it does get easier when you see her improving. Any questions regarding GL diet please feel free to ask or PM me. Big hugs to you all and so glad she is on the mend.

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas · 31/12/2012 12:32

Op have just read through the whole thread and tbh I think they have been this supportive partly because you stood up to them.

Hope your daughter is recovering well.

Ruprekt · 31/12/2012 13:10

Am so sorry about your DD and hope she gets better soon.

I am sure your inlaws realised what was important too and I am pleased they helped you at a difficult time.

IBetTheyFeelAsGuiltyAsHell

Take care and thanks for coming back to update us.

xx

Terrywoganstrousers · 31/12/2012 17:45

I have coeliac disease and so does DP- if you start a thread in Food asking for some advice then loads of people will help out. It's not the end of the world once the gluten is out of the system, it just takes some getting used to and is a bit tedious.
I'm just going off for a nap now but will keep an eye out for a thread from you and will happily post recipes and tips as will lots of other Mnetters.
Glad all is well x

uggmum · 31/12/2012 17:53

My dn (niece) has coeliac disease. She had a late diagnosis and it had really affected her growth.

My dsis manages her diet really well. In the past few years she had put on weight and grown in height she still behind her peers in size but has done really well. You will be able to get food on prescription for your dd. your doctor should be able to supply you with a catalogue of items you can order (bread/cake mixes etc). You will get into a routine and will be able to manage it well.

DozyDuck · 31/12/2012 17:54

We did gluten free for DS for a bit because of his autism (tried GFCF diet) . It was expensive but to be honest it was quite easily done once you got the hang of it and found where everything was in the supermarket Smile

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 31/12/2012 21:07

Thank goodness you are ok, and that you know what is wrong with your dd.

My aunt is Celiac (and with dairy intolerance), and thank fully these days you can substitute wheat flour with other flours, such as rice and corn flour with great success. You can even make really nice oat, fruit and nut based flapjacks, and even GF Free Christmas cake, Victoria sponges and cookies. My aunt is also able to find good bread. But with a bread maker, you can easily bake your own gf breads. Good luck!

LesbianMummy1 · 31/12/2012 21:08

Glad all is ok hope your dd and you adjust easily and 2013 is a better year for you all.

Itsafreefuckingcuntry · 31/12/2012 22:01

All the best to you and your family.

You probably already know, but this link might be of help.

www.coeliac.org.uk/

buildingmycorestrength · 01/01/2013 15:13

Hi clumsy, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope you get to speak to your husband soon.

megandraper · 01/01/2013 15:22

My 5yo DS has coeliac - v hard at first but 10months on, it is all straightforward and wonderful to see how well he is. A thread in allergies section would bring out lots of support if you need any. Good luck.

AuntieMaggie · 01/01/2013 15:42

I'm glad you know what's wrong with your DD and hope she gets better soon. I'm also glad that your ILs have been there for you but you shouldn't feel guilty because what they said was hurtful and not very nice.

Lueji · 01/01/2013 16:03

Very happy that you found out what was wrong with your DD.

Don't feel guilty about your ILs.
They should feel all the guilt and I bet they do.

You will get your head around the gluten issue, and your DD will thrive.

Have a happy new year. :)

GateGipsy · 01/01/2013 16:08

I'm sure you'll know all about this by now but you'll also be able to get gluten free food for her on prescription so it won't be a costly change for you.

What others have said. You sister in laws sound like basically nice people anyway, your standing up to them before Christmas was a good thing that will work well for your relationship in the long term and also their behaviour in a time of crisis is good for you too as it shows they are fundamentally good people.

Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 01/01/2013 17:23

Thanks to you all. Yes I'm researching like crazy, it's good to hear that others are coping well. Hopefully when she comes home and we establish a routine life will be much easier. It's heartbreaking, left my MIL with her over lunch, came back to find mIl so upset ... Dd had asked her if the food Mil was giving her was going to make her sick again.

I'd never heard of this before,but just noticed Obama pack of walkers crisps that they are suitable for coeliacs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Clumsyoaf · 01/01/2013 17:23

On A not Obama .... Grrr phone!

OP posts:
nickelbabylyinginamanger · 01/01/2013 18:29

yes these days are lots of helpful labels- glutern free or suitable for coeliacs.
and if you sign up for membership of the coeliacs society you get a book every year with brands/products that are suitable.
and membership means you get updated regularly with things that have become suitable and those which are no longer.

Wallace · 01/01/2013 19:56

Not all flavours of Walkers, I think?

freddiefrog · 01/01/2013 20:05

Glad you've got to the bottom of what's wrong with your DD

My eldest DD is coeliac and it was really daunting at first, but as time has gone on, avoiding gluten has got easier. I love cooking and baking so bake a lot and it's easy to make cakes and treats with gluten free flour, I cook from scratch a lot too so it's easy to just make GF meals for the whole family.

Eating out is trickier, but a lot of pubs and restaurants label their menus now and most cafes here are happy for her to tuck into her own food if they don't offer GF alternatives

I was terrified at first but it does get easier!

nickelbabylyinginamanger · 01/01/2013 20:16

Wallace- you're right.
important to check everything you buy.